help me please

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  • #10022
    AvatarAnonymous

    🙁 hey everyone.. im new to this website, and i have a big problem. im 19 years old, dating my bf for almost 2 years, and i am 9 days late. i took 4 pregnancy tests, 2 digital and 2 fact plus.. ALL positive.. i am feeling sluggish, and a lil sick, and my nipples are pretty sensitive.. i dont want to tell my bf yet, because he doesnt want me to have a kid now.. and i cant have an abortion, i just cant. i will find out on tues. for sure, but i am soo scared that i am.. i mean, its pretty obvious ya know?? my bf wont support me, probably kick me out, my parents wont support me; i’ll have no one.. please someone give me some advice. im so terrified!

    #10026
    AvatarAnonymous

    I think the best way to tell him ..is just wait till you get an ultrasound done after seeing those pictures of his own son or daughter he’d have to be pretty heartless to turn him/her away. You shouldn’t put so much pressure on yourself though, it was just as much his responsibility as it was yours to prevent a pregnancy. Even if he kicks you out, as the babys father, it is still his responsibility to watch out for that baby and there are programs for fathers who refuse to help, like the child support program. I truly do respect that you don’t want to have an abortion and if it means anything….good luck with everything…hope it all works out for you.

    Post edited by: Julie, at: 2005/12/20 01:48

    #10029
    AvatarKit

    Michelle,

    If you are late, have been experiencing pregnancy symptoms and have had four positive tests, then I’m pretty sure that you are in fact pregnant. I know that you are afraid to tell your parents and boyfriend. They may not be thrilled at first, but it could turn out that they will be more supportive than you might think. Hopefully your boyfriend will support you and the baby – after all he is the father and he is involved in the creation of the pregnancy as much as you are. I would contact Birthright or a crisis pregnancy center for advice help and support. Keep in mind that you are not alone and that there are people out there that care about both you and your baby. Best Wishes.

    Kate

    #10043
    AvatarAnonymous

    Don’t be. having a baby its the most natural and best thing a women can go true. specialy you, now that you are 19, you can make it by you’re self in case your bf. don’t want anything to do with you. just remember and think of that life inside of you growing, he is not responsable of you actions, so, please don’t even think of the idea of avortion, that would hurt you and will stick in you’re mind for the rest of your life. just read one of the stories of the ladies who have had one already, and you’ll see that they now regreat. So, my point is, don’t be scare and face your concequence.

    Love

    Casey

    #10051
    AvatarAnonymous

    hey guys. thank you so much for all your responses. they helped me alot! i am still absolutely terrified, because for one, i find out today for sure when i go to the clinic, and two, my boyfriend will not support me. he asked me last nite if i was pregnant, because i was being rude, and i said i was really tired and not feeling well, and i said ‘no.’ and he said ‘cuz if u are, i dont care how much i have to pay, i’ll pay the 500 for you to get an abortion. cuz your getting an abortion’ and i almost burst into tears.. see? i knew he wouldnt support me.. now, i love him more than ANYTHING and would be so happy if he would support me, but now that i know he wont, i am even more scared. my mom wont support me, i hardly talk to my father, and my siblings wont want to have anything to do with me.. you have no idea how little support i will get in this pregnancy. i have been crying all nite long, and i feel horrible this morning for lying to ryan, because after i said no, he said ‘if you are pregnant, and i find out u were lying, i will break up with you’ and i just said ‘im not pregnant’ god, i feel soo stupid!!! i cant get this off my mind, someone please help me!

    #10061
    AvatarAnonymous

    dECIDING TO RAISE A BABY OR NOT RAISE THE BABY IS THE MOST DIFFICULT STEP OF MATERNAL INSTINCTS. YOU HAVE TO MAKE EVERY DECISION FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY NOW. IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOUR BOYFRIEND WOULD HELP OUT AND ALL BUT IN REALITY YOU CANT DEPEND ON ANYONE FOR YOUR WELL BEING BUT YOURSELF. JUST REMEBER YOU HAVE TO BE AN ADULT NOW. SIT HIM DOWN TALK TO HIM AND BE HONEST WITH HIM. BEFORE YOU WIPE OUT THE THOUGHT OF HIM HELPING GIVE HIM THE OPTION OF PROVING YOU WRONG. ITS GONNA BE REALLY HARD BUT YOU CAN DO IT..FOR YOU AND FOR YOUR BABY. I AM 24 YEARS OLD WITH A SET OF 3 YEAR OLD TWINS. I AM NOW MARRIED TO THEIR FATHER. I ALSO THOUGHT HE WOULD REACT THAT WAY BUT HE PROVED ME WAY WRONG. KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN

    Post edited by: Julie, at: 2005/12/24 00:57

    #10075
    AvatarKit

    Michelle,

    I’m sorry to hear about your boyfriend’s reaction. This makes the matter more complicated and difficult. If I were in your shoes I think I would have told him that you are worried that you might be pregnant, but if you are that you don;t want an abortion and really need his support because you don’t want to be alone and pregnant. It sounds like if you are pregnant (and if you’ve already had four positive tests than the chances are extremely high that you are) he isn’t going to be supportive. You deserve better! It is as much his responsibility for the pregnancy as it is yours. If he accuses you of lying tell him that you were not intending to lie but his question made you wonder and you decided to go to the clinic to find out if you really were pregnant. Tell him that you are feeling scared. Tell him that you love him, but do not want to be pressured into an abortion. If he really loves you and cares about you he will consider your feelings and be willing to engage in an active diologue with you. He may still think abortion is the best option, but he should at least be willing to listen. If he won’t then I think I would reconsider my relationship with him. I don’t think I’d want to stay in a relationship with someone who would treat me so badly and who I did not trust to count on.

    Kate

    #10076
    AvatarAnonymous

    Hey Michelle,
    I was in the same boat as you 2 years ago, but I hadn’t been with my boyfriend for as long as you. I was with my boyfriend for 6 months and he was 6 years older than me. I was terrified too. I had my Mom telling me, I told you so, because I never used protection, so I felt alone and scared. I had no idea what to do too.
    Nobody says you have to tell your boyfriend, but eventually he will start noticing when you start showing. You never know what he’s gonna say until you tell him.
    Ask yourself this, does he love me? If the answer is yes, then no matter what he will be by your side. If the answer is no, then you don’t need this guy.
    I wasn’t sure what to do, just like you, but I decided in the end, what the hell, i’ll tell him. I told him and to my huge surprise, he was so happy.
    I am now 21 and we’re married. Our 2nd anniversary is tomorrow. My daughter is now 17 months old and the most amazing little person in the world.
    Let me tell you, I thought of having an abortion a few times, cuz I wanted to stay in school, I wanted to become something. But, still not knowing exactly why, I decided to keep my baby, and I would not change that for anything in the world.
    I’m now pregnant and due in a week with a little boy, and things are pretty good. They’re not perfect, but they’re good.
    You need to decide in your heart what is right for you. I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy, cuz it’s not going to be.
    I’m sure your boyfriend will support you in this and you might be surprised at how he reacts.
    Keep us informed. Good luck, and remember, your all that matters girl!
    ~Melissa

    #10085
    AvatarAnonymous

    i am a fater to be for the third time this year with the same partner
    early on in the year my partner fell pregnant we had only been together for a few weeks and she fell pregnant.
    she decided to have an abortion as she thought it would be for the best,
    but i didnt think so
    anyway she went ahead and done it.
    we didnt talk for a few weeks but then she got back intouch with me and we ment back to being how we were but i always had it in the back of my mind that she had killed my baby

    Then in the middle of this year she fell pregnant again
    we were both over the moon and really happy
    but then she mis carryed

    agian she has now fallen pregnant at first she was happy as was i
    but now because she has started to feel ill with morning sickness
    she has decided that she dont want to feel like this
    and is planning another abortion
    i feel so sick inside
    and she is not listening to what i have to say

    she is going to kill another one of my babys
    what should i do ??????????

    #10104
    AvatarKit

    I feel for you. As the father the baby is as much yours as it is your girlfriends. Before I became pregnant I thought that I was extremely opposed to abortion. I thought thqt I would have some sense of the presence and a bond with the little human being growing inside me. In the first trimester I have to admit that I really didn’t. I mostly just felt sick. I wanted to have this baby and I am extremely excited that he will be here in a couple of months. I never would have chosen abortion. However I think morning sickness doesn’t help expecially with pregnancies that were not planned or unwanted. I can understand a feeling of just not wanting to feel sick anymore.

    Have you spoken with your girlfriend about how you are feeling about this baby and about the previous abortion? My advice would be to tell her how you feel. Tell her that you love her and you love the baby. Tell her that as the father of the baby you do not want to see your son or daughter aborted. Be by her side as she is sick with morning sickness. Get her gingerale or pepermints or crackers or whatever she needs to feel better. She needs your love and support. She needs to know that she can make it through this tough time. Morning sickness thankfully will not last forever. Talk to her. I hope and pray that she will listen to you and at least consider your feelings before making any decisions about terminating the pregnancy. Best Wishes.

    Kate

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