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May 27, 2009 at 3:34 pm #25179sweetangel89
Ive just found out im pregnant, but not with my fiance, things were rocky between us and i found comfort in the arms of another man, my fiance and i cant have children naturally due to a problem with him.
I have longed for a child, and was getting used to a life witout them for my fiance.
Now im pregnant and i dont know what to do.
I love my fiance but i also feel alot for the other guy who im seeing.
People will judge me, but im so worried about making a decision.
I just sit crying most days since i found out.May 27, 2009 at 6:11 pm #25180queenB
oh my friend, don’t cry. Things will get better. This is definitely a tough time right now, but the sun will come out in time.
I feel like it is probably not fair to your fiance if you are not honest with him about your feelings for another man. I’m not saying that you need to break up with your fiance, but my opinion is that you should not keep this secret from him. It’s ok to express that you don’t know how you feel about him and that you might have feelings for someone else. Yes, this might hurt your relationship with your finance, but you don’t want to be stuck in a marriage and have feelings for someone else. You never know, though. The two of you might be able to work through this. If you can, it will strengthen your relationship.
But as for your baby, I think that he or she is really, really valuable. I don’t think that abortion is the right decision. Embrace this opportunity to be a mother. God has given you this wonderful gift of a child. Finding out that you are pregnant is a shock, but as time goes on you grow more and more accustomed to the idea. Just let is soak in for a while. You will soon be able to see new avenues that you didn’t see before.May 27, 2009 at 7:06 pm #25182Meg11
So my question is, does you fiance know that you are pregnant by another man and is he ok with that? I agree with QueenB in all that she said and I want to add that it is natural to feel a very strong bond with a person who has a part of themselves growing inside of you…I still have a love for my two oldest kids fathers even though I am not with them anymore nor would I EVER want to be again. They took part in making my children, they gave me something that no one else ever could, I see them in my kids faces, but one of them is a total deadbeat, I am now married and the other one is about to be soon, it is not a romantic love that I have for them though, it is a thankful love that I cannot really explain. It is possible that this could be how you feel for this other man but you need to really search your heart on this one, you do not want to commit to marriage and back out, you are having a child with this other guy and he is now in your life forever unless he wants nothing to do with baby and signs over his rights and even then he could pop back up if there is a medical issue down the road…This child is a precious gift and you are really going to enjoy being a mommy, just take the time to sort out the man issues, and pregnancy hormones may not help that process go any easier, maybe it is a time to take a break and focus on your pregnancy and then when the time is right you can discern who you truly love and want to commit too…I hope this helps…congrats on the little bean…Love Meg
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