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January 21, 2008 at 11:22 pm #20257proudparent252
I’m new here and I am just wondering if anyone can give me a little advice. Well I am 21 unemployed and already have a 3 year old daughter, well I am pregnant again. I really don’t know what to do my bf wants me to have an abortion he has 1 child also. The problem is that I don’t believe in abortions, but I’ve been considering it because I can’t have a baby right now. I just want to know if there are people out there who have had an abortion and how you may have felt afterward. I really would just like some suggestions. Anything will help right now.January 22, 2008 at 1:53 am #20261Meg11
Hey there, I know how freaked out you are and I can relate in so many ways…I had a 18 month old daughter when I found out I was pregnant with my second from a second dad, I was already struggling as a single mom, the dad bailed the moments he found out and didn’t even call or answer his phone for like 5 months…I was actively attending church and I was absolutely embarrassed and ashamed and abortion would have been the way to "fix" it and or "hide" my secret life…just like your screen name, I was too proud of a parent to do that and I think you know you are too…your daughter is 3 years old, she will be such a good sister and be more of a helper than you could ever imagine…sounds kind of crazy but really the second time around is much easier, the initial adjustment may be hard because you are doing everything and more for not only one but to kids and you have to learn to share your love and attention but once you get in the groove it is really enjoyable..let the dad be a jerk if he wants to be but don’t let his lack of responsibility and his immaturity ruin your little family…it is not like you will be having two babies, you have a big sister who will be overly charged to put diapers in the garbage and laundry in the basket and beg and beg to hold or feed the baby…if you are doing it now with one you are more than capable of doing it with two, don’t doubt your strength or second guess your ability to Stand Up…I bet the day you found out you were pregnant with her you would have never imagined having a screen name titled Proudparent, I bet you freaked out just like I did being 18-19 years old, but you have made it and you can this time too, I have not had an abortion but I know many who have had them…. including my sister who has had 3…it has crushed her and really messed up her confidence in raising the other 3 she has and her sense of value and self worth is usually on the rock bottom, I am going to leave you a link to a story on this very website from a girl who is not only a user but a dear friend of mine of 12 years…I have seen nothing but death, hurt, pain, regret, and trauma come from abortion and when it comes down to it and you really cannot have another baby then plesae consider adoption, I know a girl who is a birth mom and she knows that her baby is alive and that she did the right thing in a wrong situation…two wrongs never make a right, you can Stand Up, you already did 3 years ago and I know once you see your baby or even hear the heartbeat you will melt all over again and wonder why you would even consider abortion…you have right to be scared or nervous, we all get that way, I am on my third and I am married this time and I am more freaked out than the last two times… we are never fully ready for a baby but they are worth the sacrifice and they do such a wonderful and mysterious work in our lives and in our hearts, I would hate to see you robbed of that joy and fulfillment and have that void left full of pain and anguish at your own hand…You can do this, we are all here for you and just look at your daughter, look at your tummy, can you see her still in there, not knowing what her voice would sound like the first time she said "I love you mommy", her first birthday with cake all over her face, that moment you first held her and you wondered how you could love someone so much that you have just met after going through the most miserable pain in your life but yet you hold no grudge?? Please just hang in there, you your daughter and this baby deserve a fighting chance to be a happy family and you will be even if the dad is missing and you have to pinch pennies more often…it will not be that way forever but the love in your family will be, your kids will love you and you will love them no matter what…give this baby a chance at life, give your daughter the opportunity to be a big sissy…I am here for you if you have any questions or just need a shoulder, Love Meg, firstname.lastname@example.org , here is the link to the story I would really like for you to read…. https://standupgirl.com/web/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1967&Itemid=224January 22, 2008 at 6:44 am #20262dobbiemom
I had all of my children before I was 21. Not a great idea but not the end of the world either. When you choose to look at your life and descide to do more (starting with carring your baby to term ) you will realize you can do anything! Life has just begun. Do what is right NOW and will be easier to do what is right later. The Lord says he has plans for us for good and not to harm you but to give you a future and a hope. I found that hope at 16 with my first pregnancy and continued with the third. I was married with the other two but was alone and 16 with my daughter. It will get easier. Begin to at least think about second verginity. I have heard how it can really bless you and your partner. love dobbiemomJanuary 23, 2008 at 1:04 am #20271MissTeenAmerica
A few years back I was totally and completely pro-life. I was someone who was always saying, "How could someone do that to their own flesh and blood?" Well, ask and you shall recieve, because when I was 14 I found out I was pregnant. After a lot of thought and tears, I decided to have an abortion. It has been almost 5 years since then. I have only recently started going to counseling specifically for coping with an abortion. I have only recently started to forgive myself and to belive that God will forgive me too. Having an abortion was the hardest thing I have ever done, and I have had my share of hardships. It is something that, much like having another child, will change you for the rest of your life. YOU are the one who has to live with the consequences of every decision you make. I hope that this is at least a little helpful.
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