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September 18, 2009 at 2:39 pm #25751alana1936
I searched for some answers tonight because i have to make a massive decision this weekend.
My family and friends are great but i need some from people who don’t know me.
To cut the story short. I’m 33 have Endometriosis never thought i could get preg. Was with someone for 7 years it never happened.
I’ve always wanted to me a mother.
I have been with my boyfiend for 1 year. For the past couple of months it has not been easy.. We argue allot and mostly over things that are so pointless. I am not a argumentative person AT ALL. But for some reason with him it’s all the time.
He drinks too much,, smokes dope etc. Anyways, 2 months ago i found out i was preg. I was shocked, delighted and scared.
I told him and he said.. it’s to soon. I did not disagree, but thought abortion was not for me.
So he decided to back me and bought me a ring etc.. things were ok for a month or so.. Then this week the fighting has been awful.. It’s mostly because he thinks i’m not affectionate enough,, He even woke me up at 3am to talk .. to me about it.
So on Thursday i had had enough, i booked into see a counselor and went to an abortion clinic to find out my options. If i want to terminate i have till Monday to decide. I am now 12 weeks. I’m completely torn. I don’t want to be a single mum, and i think this relationship with be saturated in problems… I know no one can give me the answers … but a different perspective would be nice.. Thankyou for reading.. Alana.September 19, 2009 at 4:27 am #25755Meg11
Hey there Alana, we actually have a lot in common…I was told at a young age that I had endometriosis and that I would never have kids, I even got a huge tattoo on my stomach because I figured it would never stretch out…LOL…bad idea…anyways after years of sleeping around, unprotected I never got pregnant and I had no fear of becoming pregnant…when I was 19 I met a guy and we “fell in love” and he was just all that and a bag of potato chips, until a month or so into the relationship, he also was a heavy drinker and when he was drunk he was really verbally and emotionally abusive…I was on the verge of leaving him, just waiting for the “love” to die down enough to make it easier for both of us when I found out I was pregnant, I was in shock, I made the nurse do 3 tests…he instantly said abortion and I was all for it, I did not want to be stuck with him for the rest of my life…I told my mom and sister and they told me not to get an abortion so I ultimately decided not to…we broke up and I had a horrible pregnancy, I never really bonded with her while she was in my womb, I didn’t even find out her sex until birth….I even lost my mom to suicide while I was pregnant and that was horrible to say the least, if I had gotten the abortion I cannot tell you where I would be today if I would even be alive…my child gave me hope to make it through….someone to live for…anyways her dad and I got back together when she was 3 weeks old and he became controlling and abusive again really quickly, I eventually left him a year later and he has not seen our daughter in over 4 years, she is now 7 and in 2nd grade….I did not have an easy road as a single mom but I tell you what, it was much easier than living with guilt wondering, boy or girl, what if, and so on…I look back at my times of being a single mom (4 1/2 years, two of them with 2 kids on my own) and I miss those times, I am very thankful for how my life has turned out but there was also something very special about that time, the miracles that happened, finding money in my mail box, food on my doorstep, etc…I was not alone even when I felt like it, I had a family even though it didn’t always feel complete…I am now married to a wonderful man who loves me and treats me like untarnished gold despite what my past was like, he loves my kids and they call him daddy, I personally feel that you should leave the abuser and go it alone with your little family, you and baby will make it just fine, if he straightens up then yes there is room for second chances but it sounds like you have a supportive family and you are a grown woman, you can do this…your baby is a very precious gift, neither of us should have had the opportunity to have kids, we both had now had the chance, me 3 times, this is your time, your first, what are you going to do with this amazing opportunity that is awaiting? This is YOUR child, flesh and blood, someone you have longed to meet all these years and thought you never would…do not take this child’s life into your hands, trust him/her in the hands of the One who will carry you through the tough times and give blessings where least expected….this child is worth it, so are you, do not rob yourself of motherhood….I am here if you want to talk more but please do not go to your appointment, I am praying for you and I know you will make the right choice, I am anxiously awaiting your reply so that I can celebrate this pregnancy with you….Love MegSeptember 21, 2009 at 9:29 pm #25776Meg11
Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you today and I hope that you do not go to your appt…Love MegSeptember 21, 2009 at 9:36 pm #25777kel1980
I too hope u didn;t go thru with it, a child is the best thing that can happen to you, men come and go but your children will always be yours and as much as you don;t want to be a single mum, your child will give you the strength to get through! Good luck. xxSeptember 22, 2009 at 4:19 am #25778hunnybee111
my heart goes out to you i just hope you dont go through wiv it it sounds to me this is what you’v waited for so long for this baby and i think you know you’l regret doing that you can also get lots of support if you think you’l be a single mum theres lots of places that can help so please think about it and i wish you al the luck and hope you make the right choice.xSeptember 22, 2009 at 6:25 am #25780seedsofhope
I just wanted to encourage you also to choose life for your child. I only know you from what you said, but was think ing to myself.. wow! what a gift. Yo uyearned at times to be a mother, but was told you couldn’t be. Now you are. From the moment you learned of this pregnancy, you became a mommy.
You are young, but not not so young that this may be your only chance at having a child of your own. Flesh of your flesh, blood of your blood. Statistically speaking… your chances of concieving again (after 35) diminish greatly. So what if the timing doesn’t seem right? When would it be? I can tell you this.. I have had 5 children and all but 2 of them were not planned. Was I scared?? Heck yes! But like Meg said.. little things would happen here and there and I made it.
Also I wanted to add, the fights ‘n things that are going on with your boyfriend now may be even more irritating than usual. Not saying that the things he’s doing are ok.. but sometimes pregnancy (even very early on) can make the mommy just not like daddy AT ALL:blink: . Seriously, my last pregnancy I could not stand my hubby. He wasn’t doing anything that was out of the ordinary but my irritations were just heightened.
Anyway, I know the clock is ticking..
I hope to see a post from you soon saying that you are happily still pregnant.
Blessings to you and your Little Bean:kiss: .
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