hard decision

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  • #24781
    AvatarVictoriaGirl

    This is my first post ever so here gos…..

    About a week ago i found out that i am pregnant. I freaked it was completely unexpected. My boyfriend and i had always agreed that if this were to ever happen abortion would be the path we took. But now i’m not so sure. After finding out i mulled it over in my head and after a few days agreed to get an abortion. But now i’m doubting the decision. I know an abortion is the practical thing to do as my boyfriend an i do not have a stable relationship and are not even close to financially stable. But every time i think of that life inside of me i get so excited.
    Almost everyone in my life thinks i should get an abortion and part of me agrees. I don’t know if i can give a baby all the support it needs financial, emotional ex. I also know that the decision i make will not only have a huge effect on my life but also the lives of those close to me. I am very confused right now and have no idea what the right thing to do is. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
    Thanx,
    XOXO
    VictoriaGirl

    #24796
    AvatarMeg11

    Just to make one thing clear abortion is NEVER the practical thing to do, it is like saying, When driving a car the practical thing to do would be to drive off of a cliff, NO WAY…the PRACTICAL thing to do is to let life exist, unharmed and with love…Just because you agreed to an abortion does not mean you are not allowed to change your mind, I agreed to an abortion almost 8 years ago but I never had one, however I have a gorgeous girl who will turn 7 next month and I have NO regrets about keeping her…she saved my life and gave me reason to live and not just live but to live life to its fullest and enjoy life….I am not with her dad, he has no contact with her and does not pay child support, I made it without him, if your boyfriend does the same thing he will do it whether you have an abortion or not, would you rather be alone with regret or with love? I was far from financially stable and I have lost more jobs than I can count but we always had what we needed exactly when we needed it, we have never gone hungry or naked or without a roof over our heads, I even ended up pregnant again and was a single mom for a total of 4 1/2 years before I met my wonderful husband…life doesn’t end with unexpected pregnancy, sometimes that is when we begin to see what life is really about, don’t let abortion ruin your life, not to mention take the life of this precious child that is made from your own body, there is nothing wrong with feeling excited because of that life that you just feel within you, smile, rub your tummy even though it is not big yet, this is your child, this is your life, this is your own little miniature you, take care of him/her just as your mom took care of you and gave you life….it doesn’t matter if everyone in your life wants you to get an abortion, if they really love you then they will eventually come around and support you, if they don’t then they do not deserve to be in your’s and your baby’s life….you can find so much help out there, call this number, 1-800-395-HELP, they will give you the number and location of the closest pregnancy resource center to you where you can get your pregnancy confirmed for FREE and they can give you an ultrasound and help you to find everything and more than what you need or want to take care of yourself and this baby, they can and will also mediate between you and your parents if you would like them to, please call them, go to the center and let them introduce you to your little you through an ultrasound…I have never heard of a child ruining a life but I have heard way too many girls say that their life is ruined by abortion, do not put your name on that heartbreaking list….please…Love Meg

    #24800
    Avatarmyangelsinheaven

    Meg has wonderful advice for you, and I would like to just add that there are many ways that you and your boyfriend can begin your new life with a baby. Many have done it before you. My husband and I had only a few hundred $$ to live off of when we first got together. But, we lived with another couple to make due until a promotion came (military man). It wasn’t how we’d like to have begun, but we loved eachother so much and were willing to do whatever it took to begin our life that everyone was against. Then our first baby came, and we still didn’t have much, except love and a desire to beat the odds. Your life will be whatever you make of it. Don’t wait for others to live your life for you by letting them decide your fate with regards to this life inside you. Don’t let your instability with your boyfriend or finances cause you to commit the most horrific act of violence…..It is death to an unborn baby, an innocent life created by God!!

    Abortion is not the answer to any situation in life. No one has the right to kill a baby, at any phase of it’s life!!!

    What people may not be telling you, until Meg gave you the information, is that you have resources available to you as well as other choices. Adoption is a wonderful alternative if you cannot keep your baby. Do not be misled anylonger…..take the time to fight for your baby. Do some homework and take an active part in your life and the decisions you are facing. Read as much as you can on this website and understand what is going on.

    We are all here to pray for you and help in whatever way we can, but YOU have to be the one to fight!!

    May God bless you and keep your baby safe.
    myangelsinheaven

    #24810
    Avatarbernardette.x

    Victoria, i had an abortion 9 months ago and it has destryoed me!

    sweetheart, you need to really sit down and think about- there are loads of women on this website that stood up to the families and had there children and they have not regretted it.

    maybe you should also think about adoption- that way you are not killing a life and also you could be giving a couple a child to start the family they have always wanted

    take care xx

    #24812
    Avatarstumblebum

    victoria –
    i had an abortion when i was 16, i am now nearly 20 and i have to say i’ve never been the same since. i think about it all the time, what my baby would have looked like whether it would have been a boy or a girl – everything, and i have always felt so guilty about having it. it wasn’t even really wholly my decision, it was my boyfriend and my GP. The GP told me no-one would want me when i was older if i had a baby and made me feel like a stupid careless little girl. i was naive at the time and couldn’t make decisions for myself but i don’t think i will ever be o.k about what happened.

    looking back it would have been difficult, as the father was quite unstable and i had no money was still at school etc, but i made a little plan about running away to the country with my baby untill it all got so out of hand i agreed to the abortion.

    with regards to an earlier reply to this topic, having a go at people that have abortion saying thier violent killers is unfair and hurtful as i’ve just explained there are so many different factors to it.
    just think about it properly, and think about whether you can live with knowing what you’ve done – because i personally can’t forgive myself.
    hope this helps a bit
    xxx

    #24936
    Avatartaylor342

    It is a hard decision whether or not to keep it. I know what it is like to have people suggest abortion. I also know how horrible I feel after the fact that I no longer have my baby. I to once said if it came to this that abortion would be what I would do, and I did it. I would not wish this heartache and pain on anyone. Abortion is something you have to be emotionally and physically stable for, it will not be just another walk into a doctors office its a life changing decision. I think this is something you need really need to sit about think about, something I never really did. I wish you the best in what ever you do, with or without the money, or support of family you will be a good mom no matter what other people say.

    #25039
    AvatarVictoriaGirl

    Hey,
    I just thought i would let everyone know that i have decided to keep my baby. Thanx guys for all your support and kind words!:kiss:
    xoxo
    VictoriaGirl

    #25049
    Avatarbernardette.x

    Congratulations sweetheart 🙂 xx

    #25053
    Avatarmyangelsinheaven

    Victoria,
    You will never regret your decision to give your baby life. I am very happy for you and know that you will be a wonderful young mother. It is a brave and courageous decision to stand up to the world’s twisted views on life and what brings happiness and reward. I hope your family will be by your side and give you the love and support that you are intitled to. This is their grandchild and a baby has a way of breaking the walls down that we adults can put up between one another. Pride, fear and selfishness will have no strength compared to the touch of your vulnerable, innocent baby as it takes its first breath and falls asleep in your arms.

    I would also like to comment to stumblebum for her misunderstanding of my first post to you. I would never “have a go” at anyone for having an abortion……they are not violent killers. What I was calling horrific was the violence of the act itself…..the abortion is a violent crime against an innocent life at any phase of an unborn childs life….and even with regards to partial birth abortions. Women are not to blame for this crime being committed. Society and it’s views towards life and it’s lack of compassion and support for a young girl when she’s faced with this situation is where I find fault. Regardless of the circumstances behind the conception of the baby, a young girl or young woman needs to be told from the beginning that they have other choices instead of being lead to a calendar to make an appointment for their abortion. It’s almost standard procedure once a young unwed mother or teen is confirmed pregnant. They are being robbed of the information that we are trying to give them here at SUG. They have a right to know what other options they have and the resources available. Doctor’s and parents, friends and other family members should be bringing pregnant mothers to a level of confidence and courage so that they will succeed at the role they are being given. We need wonderfully strong courageous women raising children……those children will be our future.
    It’s a silent criminal act on the rights of the pregnant mother. Because she among thousands of others like her, including myself learn one day what they did. We now know the burning pain and desire for that baby we once held in our body. A life, a part of ourselves that we gave up to the world’s idea of a better life. What kind of better life do we live with? Our arms cannot hold the baby we nourished, we cannot put a face to the image of our baby our heart longs to see, and our soul aches for the sound of those first cooing sounds we’d hear when our baby falls asleep on our chest.
    We are victims of abortion, victims of what they didn’t tell us.
    So, I apologize if you misunderstood my post to Victoria.

    I too was unwed, 18 and away from my family and in love with my boyfriend and pregnant. I was rebellious as was my boyfriend and we knew more than our parents who themselves all went through broken marriages. But there we were, We had nothing, no home, only a shattered idea of college and he was a brand new soldier with no money…….it was a silent choice we made, hoping we would just go back to our wonderful life of nothing. We had no idea the grief we would live with 22 yrs. later. We had no idea how much we would die to give that baby life again!!

    I am happy for you Victoria that you’ll never feel that pain. Stay strong and stay in touch with us as much as possible. We would love to walk through this pregnancy with you…..it is rewarding to know that we can help bring women to a better understanding of the strength and power within themselves so that they can stand up for their baby and their own life.

    You are truly blessed,
    myangelsinheaven

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