Going To War…Custody Battle

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  • #18999
    AvatarKylieAUS

    For those of you that dont know, i was considering adoption for my daughter. This is no longer the case. During this time my mother started interferring a bit and even hired a lawyer. This afternoon i got served – she is making her custody bid formal. Court is next week on friday 19th October. She essentially has no case as the only way they would remove my daughter from my care and place her in my mothers is if i were abusing her. I am not. I have people that will say for me that there is nothing wrong with my parenting, and that i do not have mental health issues. But i do not trust her. She has lied through her teeth throughout just about every part of the affidavit not just about myself but about people that i have been in contact with who will say that is what they did not say. She is devious and would stoop to whatever level she had to in order to win custody of Jessica. I would liken the experience to going off to war – a battle although you know what the outcome should be, you are scared you will lose.
    Im finding the whole experience very stressful and would appreciate hearing from others who have gone through similar experiences, or just people who could give me some kind words to help me get through this.
    Thankyou.

    #19004
    AvatarMeg11

    Might I say WAY TO GO STAND UP GIRL!!! I am so glad you decided to keep your little girl, I knew you had it in you….Most of the time the court favors the mom…I don’t think you have a whole lot to worry about…I am really sorry that your mom is making things so hard on you, I can really relate…When I was 2 1/2 months pregnant my moms fiance died in a car accident…he was also a good friend of mine and it was traumatic for all of us, but I had guilt because I had introduced them and if I hadn’t maybe he would have been alive etc…my mom was in the hospital from her injuries and she was driving me insane, one minute she was balling and freaking out and the next she was making all of these plans from when we got back home (the accident was about 200 miles from our home) and I was overwhelmed and I freaked out…I was sitting on the floor of her hospital room and I was hysterically crying and I started pounding my hands on the floor and then I started kicking my legs and went into a full blown temper tantrum…I was laying on the ground flopping like a fish out of water and screaming and just plain went psycho…they hauled me down to the psych ward and gave me some zanex and made me calm down…a month later my mom completed suicide and I found her body, if you ever want to know more of that particular story I would be glad to share with you…anyways the time came for me to have my baby and I had experienced a small amount of healing, just enough to function through my days, I gave birth and the next morning I had two women from child protection services in my room trying to take my baby girl…my mom had reported me to cps before she died and told them that I was unfit to be a mother as a result of what had happened at the hospital when her fiance died…I had to fight them off with a stick and it took like 7 weeks to get them to go away, I was hurting over my loss and I didn’t even have my mom alive to tell them nevermind about the report she had made…a couple of years later I was reported to cps again because my daughter had fallen off the couch and broken her collar bone and was reported to have looked malnurished…my daughter is very tall and very skinny…she is always in the low percentiles because she is tall and skinny, she goes through phases where she will eat all day and then times when I have to force her to just drink a glass of milk so I know she has something in her tummy…I was a single mom and my county has a high rate of child abuse and the most common excuse is that the child fell off the couch…I had all odds against me but I made it through that accusation without ever having them come to my home, and had they there would have been nothing bad to find…I made it through and so can you…just don’t give anyone anything to talk about…keep your home in a way that cps would never question the safety of your daughter and don’t hang around with ANYONE they would consider a threat to your daughter…the state doesn’t like taking kids away from their birth mom so just remember that and let them see your confidence flow…don’t break a sweat, just love your daughter and be the best mom you can possibly be…I am here anytime you need to talk…I had a very unsuportive mom and she tended to make things difficult so I can relate, I miss her and I will always love her but she would have done anything to take my daughter away even in her death she tried, but…it didn’t work…I consider myself to be a pretty good mom now, I just needed some time and practice, kids are very forgiving…LOL… so take care and let us all know how things go…Love Meg, meg@standupgirl.com

    #19008
    Avatarholy_foxtrot

    aw wow! i really dont know how to give advice on this seeing as i have no idea, but i agree with mweber..the court favours the mother a whole lot, so unless your mum has a case…she cant gain custody of your little one its pretty much pointless that she is even doing this!
    im really sorry about you going to court but i think you and jess are going to be fine :laugh: of course you are we all know it. we know you arent abusing your daughter its really silly that she would think that as well.
    i know you can do it love! i know you can, hang in there we are all behind you! haha
    xo
    Anna

    #19017
    Avatarbreathless

    That is so incredibly unfortunate, I am so sorry this is happening to you, I find it strange that your Mother cannot just enjoy being a mother to you and a grandmother to your child but then again people think in mysterious ways. Chances are this is going to fall through becausre you are right, your Mom does not have a case. Just be confident and brave, tell your story as it is and get all the support from the people who want you to do well and have a wonderful life with your new daughter. Congratulations and way to go for deciding to keep her, I believe everything will turn out in the end, it’s just too bad this had to happen,
    good luck and keep us updated, we are all here to help,
    lots of Love,
    Anna

    #19024
    Avatarmommy6

    things will work your not a bad mom like you said she just cant take your child if your not doing what your sopose to be doing n it looks like to me n all the rest of us here you are. dont stress get all your friends n other people who can help you out right now to do it. it will be ok im so glad you decided to keep her shes yours n its going to stay that way. good luck n rem. we are all here 4 u always.

    #19054
    Avatarkez_mummy_2_skye

    i agree, they will not take ur daughter unless you prove to be placing your child at harm and you are not. She can basically say what she wants but where is the proof?? Stay strong hun.
    It really upsets me to see our own flesh and blood doing this sort of stuff.

    #19117
    AvatarKylieAUS

    Hi… thought i would let you know how court went this morning. Neither my mother or her lawyer turned up. Her lawyer did phonelink – phoned in AFTER we had started. Mumbled alot.
    It got adjoured until 26th of November so that i can have sufficient time to file a respones. I agreed to do mediation on the 13th of November but i do not think it is going to go well. I dont think i can ever forgive her for trying to take my daughter away from me.

    #19122
    Avatarbweber

    good luck with ur battle! and im glad to here u arent giving up ur daughter!…and if u ever need to vent im a good listener!

    #19129
    Avatarkez_mummy_2_skye

    At least this gives some time to write up some responses i agree. She is the one trying to fight with you and she doesn’t even turn up.pfft! At least that goes against her. Dont fear you will win this!

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