fun, being free, vs having a baby without him

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous .

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  • #22916
    cheried
    cherie day

    hi there everyone

    so if you know my story i was pregnant in april
    and i mis carried. it took toll on me emotionally
    and physically, all i wanted was a baby. its all i dreamt about.
    during this time my bf and i grew close (after all the times
    we fought over the last pregnancy).
    we tried for several months and on the 14 september i took a test
    and it was positive. i had mixed emotions at this point.
    i was happy but knew my life would change.

    past 6 weeks i got bad morning sickness and all my bf
    and i did was fight.
    still to this day, he brakes up with me, then cries for me.
    then he will tell me im not allowed to do this and than,
    not allowed to do my hair, not allowed to wear high
    heels. he wanted me to throw away all my shoes to him they were
    ‘slutty’… and i must say i just dnt know how to cope anymore.
    im begining to hate him. and now for some reason
    im regretting this baby… i dont want it im 11 weeks today.
    i thought i would have the best pregnancy, but its all
    just falling to peices, and this time im crumbling along with it.
    i dont know. am i being selfish??
    or is it just him that i want out my life and not the baby?
    i have times when i sit and think, only if i
    was not pregnant, i could just leave him, and
    never worry,
    i could go out partying with al my friends, i dnt need him.
    but i cant exactly think that way. i have a baby thats growing so fast.. i just hate him, maybe om scared of being alone i dont know..
    i just need help, advice please, becaus i am going out my mind,
    crying every night, and i just cant take this anymore:( 🙁 🙁

    #22960
    TooHelp
    Anthony Arzani

    Your boyfriend like a control freak. He needs help and you may or may not be able to help him.

    You need to focus on doing what is best for you and your pregnancy. Too much stress can cause your body to abort the pregnancy.

    #22968

    Anonymous

    Dont Worry, lots of people feel like this. well i did anyway but after the advice people have given me i learnt to turn things round and im now 9 weeks pregnant again and im very happy. i already had one child and i didnt know wheather i could cope with another one just yet as i have college and work to struggle with too but now i know that having an abortion would be the wrog thing to do aswell. You can do it too, You may have to sacrifice things like your boyfriend in order to be happy and to bring up your child as you like. i sacrificed my boyfriend as he was to violent and not the guy i thought he was, and it was the best thing i ever did. Your having this baby for you and in a few years time you will look back and say this is the best thing i ever done. honestly chilbirth is a wonderful thing and it bought me happiness. 🙂

    – Love
    Chelseaa -ox .

    #22975
    jessey223
    Jessica M

    I’m sorry you feel this way….keep in mind I don’t know your whole story but here’s what I think from what you wrote. Your bf may just be worried about you having another misscarage which I know is driving you nuts but it sounds like he means well. High heels maybe you would fall etc etc. I had a baby 6 years ago and the dad didn’t worry about anything I did while I was pregnant, granted we never had a misscarage and he was just not the involved type. When I get pregnant again with my fiance after I am married he is going to drive me nuts. I know this already, he is going to worry about everything I do. Maybe attempt to put me in a bubble for 9 months. Men are kind of helpless in the whole pregnancy process and maybe this is his way of trying to protect both you and your baby. Keep in mind it is possible that the way you are taking things, mood swings and hormones change while you are pregnant and some this can just add to this problem. I rememeber several times being sad etc. When your not married pregnancy is a very scary thing because the unknown is scary. My advice would be to try to look at it like he is trying to protect you and have a talk with him (calmly as possible). Also keep in mind you brought your baby here so you should not resent it. I am here anytime to talk and I wish you the best.
    Jessica

    #22980
    breathless
    Anna Graham

    Do not let a man treat you like crap. Not only does it crush you and your strength it takes away you ability to mother your child properly. The not wanting the baby thing? It will pass, don’t do anything drastic because you will regret it. Being a young mom is scary and tough but believe me it is worth it. My son just turned one and I made a vow that if my husband were to cause problems with his anger and fear I would take Odin and raise him in love and respect. Do everything you can (within reason) to make it work with you guys. But if you see long term problems and cannot see a happy healthy household with him then make the decision to do well by your child and raise him/her yourself. It is most important to love and respect your child and let them feel safe then to try and make it work with a partner who is angry and controlling. you will make the right choice, don’t worry.

    #23023

    Anonymous

    Now my boyfriend didn’t say things to me like that, but I can say that we fought more than usual. I did regret the baby at a time. I felt so guilty for it. Try to talk to your boyfriend and consider how he feels just as much as you do. I know it’s hard sometimes… but he hasn’t left. That should tell you something. Consider his feelings and consider also getting counceling to help.

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