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January 14, 2008 at 9:19 am #20191alexanders_mama
Our fish Fish died today. I am so sad. I bawled my eyes out. I walked into the bedroom after watching the news and he had his head in the pebbles and his tail up in the air, he wasn’t moving, and he was dead.
I thought I was looking after him right. He didn’t eat for five days, and he just kept on getting paler and paler. I thought I was doing things right. But now he’s dead.
Maybe I didn’t do something right? And I’m thinking, what if I’m a bad mother? What if I think I’m doing something right, but it’s actually bad, wrong, harmful? What if?
What if I have no clue what I’m doing? What if I just need my child to be taken away? I don’t want him taken away, I’m just so upset, maybe it was my fault, maybe I just don’t know what I’m doing….
I’m just so upset, Fish was part of this family. I just feel so guilty. I don’t know WHY he died. I just don’t understand…January 14, 2008 at 10:32 pm #20195Meg11
I saw your post sitting here and I totally understand how you feel…I have lost so many pets in my past that I have grown numb to the loss of animals (to an extent) and I actually have not even dared to have a pet for years now…the last fish I had died within 24 hours, I don’t even have house plants…if it can’t tell me it’s hungry or let me know what it needs it will die…I could make a silk plant fade and wither and dry up…on the other hand though I know I am not perfect but I think I am a good parent always looking to provide the needs of my kids, if they are hungry it is their own faults for not eating what was given…you did your best with the fish, a fish cannot tug on your pant leg and say your name 50 times to alert you to a need, and my guess is that it would not take 50 tugs to get your attention…I don’t think you need to worry about being competent to take care of your son because of the loss of your fish, if you are even questioning your abilities as a mom then that shows that you are constantly looking for ways to grow and be a better mom…I am sorry about your fish and I bet it is hard explaining that to your son but you can’t compare the fish and your son, it just doesn’t work out…I wish I knew the statistics of fish dying…all I know is that they are very particular and even in the best circumstances they will drop dead in a moment, your son is a lucky boy to have you as a mother and I am sure that you are going to continue to do better than your best with him….plus if you are not doing something right then he will let you know unlike the fish….hang in there and don’t let this take away your confidence as a mother….Love MegJanuary 15, 2008 at 3:21 pm #20204kez_mummy_2_skye
thats sad especially when an animal is part of your family. How long have you had Fish?January 16, 2008 at 3:24 pm #20215alexanders_mama
Thanks for that.
No, we didn’t have Fish for very long, I bought it for Alex as a Christmas present, but we did kind of get used to Fish pretty quickly. I guess I just felt so guilty — there were so many things I could have done, like gone to the vet, asked a vet etc., but I didn’t, I was just waiting for the sickness to pass, and it didn’t.
But thanks for the response, it really helped, us mothers get it hard being judged all the time and trying to be the perfect parent ay.
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