This topic contains 6 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by Anonymous .
- August 3, 2006 at 1:24 am #11502
I wrote a little while back when I was about 8 mths pregnant, "My Story I need some Hope". Well since then I have had such mixed feelings of what to do. I am 16 and this baby is coming in less than 3 weeks. The babys father and I just started talking again so I guess thats a plus but I still feel depressed and not sure what to do. I have been thinking about adoption, but I dont know i feel as if I would regret it. The babys father is going to jail in september, and as i told you he lives far away from me so Im worried he’ll never get to see his baby. He has yet to tell his parents or his mom (his dad isnt involved) for she is as he says "stressed" out about him going to jail and everything. He says and promises me he will tell her. I honestly dont kno what to believe.
I also have mixed feelings about my life, there is so much i want to do and see, i am absolutely terrifed i wont be able to handle this baby. I am in a deep depression and still (I feel terrible about this but its the truth) have thoughts of suicide. My family on the other hand is amazing they are so unbelieveably supportive. They came around alot since I first told them I was pregnant. At first I was kiked out of my house and they were saying u cant come back unles u get an abortion, but they truly made a 180 degree turn and came around and are now there for me more than ever so that is a glimmer of hope i guess. I am also PeTRIFIED that something is goign to be horribly wrong with my baby, what if shes sick, or cant walk or is mentally challenged how do i handle that at 16, with no father there atall. sometimes i wish there was another option, somebody please help me.August 5, 2006 at 11:01 am #11509
Hang in there! First of all I am glad and proud that you have decided to have this baby instead of chosing abortion, and I am glad to hear that your family has come around and are supportive of your decision. Unfortunately it doesn’t sound like you will be able to rely on much support for you or your baby from the child’s father. If he isn’t even willing to let his mother know about her new grandchild and if he’s going to be in jail and won’t be able to provide emotional or financial help. I can’t tell you whether to keep the child or to raise it yourself. My baby is the greatest blessing in my life and is wonderful, but I won’t lie and say motherhood isn’t a challenge. If you feel that the needs of your child would be better met by placing the baby up for adoption, there is absolutely no shame ion that decision. If you arrange for an open adoption, you could still potentially be involved with your child’s life.
Please don’t commit suicide. You can make it through this! Perhaps it would help to talk to a counselor who might be able to help with your depression and help you to work through your feelings and decisions relating to this pregnancy and other issues in your life. If you need someone to listen I’m here.
KateAugust 5, 2006 at 1:59 pm #11513
ooo huny, youd have those worries whether you are 16 or 36. it comes with being a mom. talk with your family. call the hospital, they have people there to talk ith you. i was hit with a constant barrage of people while i was there and they all gave me their cards to call them if i needed help or to talk or anything. im sure theyll help you. you can do it! i swore that if i ever had a baby i would rather the father be involved physically more than financially. good thing too cuz my daughters father puts his dvd collection before his daughters clothes collection. its hard but it can be done. and with family support it is so much easier. my mom goes out for bread and comes home with 3 outfits for my little girl! good luck and know that you can do it, if you decide to keep your baby. and dont do something youlll regret if your not absolutly positive about it!August 6, 2006 at 9:12 am #11514
hi my name is kelly and i’m from the u.k. I can really understand your situation as much as any other teen mum. I’m also 16 and 5 months pregnant but I’m quite happy about being pregnant as i suffered a miscarriage in january, when i was only 15, and a week later my boyfriend was sent to prison for three months. I was completely lost, hurt and devestated. I was grieving for my lost unborn child and the feeling that i lost the person i loved 7 days after the tragedy, at a time when i needed him most. The physical pain of having a miscarriage was horrendous as i chose not to have a D&C and just miscarry the natural way by letting nature take its course. I bled for 3 whole weeks and had to return to school whilst i was hurting. People kept coming up to me saying that it was for the best and one woman actually said that she thanked god when she heard i miscarried as i "wouldn’t be able to cope". People, including my parents expected me to pull myself together and deal with it but i was in emotional turmoil. I really couldn’t cope and hated it when i heard of other people getting pregnant. I went downhill and decided that the only way things could ge better was if i got pregnant again even though i’m only 16 and don’t have a job. When my boyfriend was finally released from prison on my 16th birthday i was determined to get pregnant and it all happened quite fast. about 3 weeks after he got out i started to get all the symptoms and i imeadiately knew i was pregnant again so when my period was late i bought a pregnancy test and did it in a public toilet on my lunch break in town with 2 of my mates. When the blue line appeared i started to cry, i still don’t know if they were tears of joy or tears of fear. I didn’t return to school that day and instead went straight up to my boyfriend’s house where i broke the news. He was overjoyed and promised he’d change and find a job but he had an anti social behaviour order which meant he could go back to prison over the slightest thing. I decided i wasn’t going to stress over telling my parents this time and instead told them both straight away. They were both very dissappointed and my mother even kicked me out because there was no room for me and a baby at her house so on top of everything that i was going through i moved into a homeless hostel for young people and have been living there for 3 months now. Things started to look up for me as i had a much better relationship with my parents and the hostel was helping me find suitable training and helping with finding me a council house for me and the baby. But then one day my boyfriend decided to get really drunk and cause trouble so he was arrested and sent back to prison so i’m on my own again but i’m not going to let myself get depressed again and i’ll always remember the woman that thanked god about my miscarriage and i’m determined to prove her wrong by being a good and loving mother, at 16. I can’t wait to see my little baby’s face and know that once it is born i’ll see life in a very different way and that every decision i make will be to benefit my child’s life. My family are all exited about the baby’s birth now and have all started to buy clothes and stuff, especially my grandmother!! we have 1 week untill we find out the baby’s sex and we can’t wait and by then the baby’s father will be out and i’m willing to give him ONE more chance to prove he can be a good father to his child. I feel very lucky and blessed that i am able to have children as i know loads of people suffer the heartache of not being able to have children. I’m very lucky to have the chance of giving a child the gift of a good life with a loving mother even if i am young.August 16, 2006 at 4:20 am #11554
Hi I can kind of relate to you. I am 16 from the uk as well and i think i could be pregnant. My boyfriend is in prison until november and I am very worried that if i am pregnant, he may get put inside again. I dont want to be alone with the baby as I want to be a family, but I know he wants a baby so I think he will be good. I am waiting to see if my period comes, and then I will know what my future holds as I would never have an abortion. The situation is made even harder because my mum is a midwife and would be SOOOO disappionted if i am pregnant. You may be thinking how did i get pregnant if my boyfriend is in prison, well he came out for a day visit and we had sex. Afterwards I felt like we had been stupid to do it, because we dont know his situatiion as there is a chance he could not get parole. If he dosent and I am pregnant, he wont be home before the baby is born. I love him so much and really want his child but I am scared, as i am starting my a-levels this september and most people say i would have to give up this choice if i had a baby? what do you think?August 21, 2006 at 6:28 am #11575
Donna M. Stobar
THe best choice you made for your baby is to keep the pregnancy. Have you ever considered adoption? Many couples are waiting to adopt babies.
Having been a teenage Mom myself ( now 33) I know I made the right decision to keep the baby and go through the pregnancy. My Mom was very supportive, but my Dad wasn’t. He just threw everything I ever made him in my yard when I moved out. Things might have been different if I hadn’t had my Mom to help me.
Good luck in your decision and remember the best thing you can do for your baby is to give him/her a chance at life~September 4, 2006 at 7:39 pm #11676
Honey, you can do it. If you had the strength to keep your baby, then you have the strength to raise him/her.
You can still do a lot of things. You can do it with you child. Many women have. My aunt had her son when she was 17, kept him and she makes over $100,000 a year. She has been to so many places, it amazes me. My cousins is 20 now. My uncle and his girlfriend had a child when they were 16, and now they have a beautiful home in the suburbs with their daughter. She’s almost 18 now.
It is possible to do a lot after you have a child. It will take a lot of work, and it will be tough sometimes, but I assure you, when you look at your son or daughter you won’t regret it.
I’m 20 with a five month old daughter, and another baby on the way. My daughter gives me strength I never had before. She makes me want to be a better person, to do the things I had always dreamed of even if only to show her she can do whatever she wants no matter what the obstacles.
I hope you feel better. I leave you with
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