don’t know what to do…..

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  • #14999
    Avatarmandee

    My ex-boyfriend and I had un-protected sex and afterwards I was beginning to feel sick. I got my period… or so I thought it was my period. It wasn’t normal, It lasted one day and I hardly bled. About a week later I started feeling worse and I started throwing up. Recently I told my mom, and she took me to the doctors, he’s sending me to get a blood test tommorrow to check if I am pregnant. I really think I am, I have all the sypmtoms…. My moms first reaction was crazy, she was so freaked out. Eventually she got over it, but she told me that if I am pregnant, I can’t keep my baby. She said it’s because I don’t help her out and because of my grades. When she said that I cried. I am too young to have a baby, but I just don’t believe in abortion. If I am pregnant, I can’t get rid of my baby. And I know I could never give it up for adoption. Those things just arn’t me. She tried to convince me that I didn’t want to have a baby with a guy that hurt me so much. I don’t know how to tell my mom that I want to keep my baby, I’m scared that she’ll make me get an abortion because I’m under 18. I’m so scared and I don’t know what to do…..

    #15011
    Avatargoodluckyall

    Even if you’re under 18, she can’t make you have an abortion. But, she can kick you out if you’re 17. You have to decide if you’re able to care for the baby without her support. How about the dad’s family? Are they supportive? You have a tough decision to make and I feel for you. I’m against abortion personally, but you have to have a plan in line in case she tells you that you can’t have a baby in her home. Adoption might not be what you want, but it’s (in my opinion) a lot better alternative than abortion. Maybe you aren’t pregnant at all. Try not to worry until you find out for sure.

    #15013
    Avatarbweber

    ok so to let u know ur mom CAN NOT force you to give up ur baby or get an abortion, because its ILLEGAL, and once you become prgnant and have a baby u are legally an adult and the baby is ur responsiblity and ur mom can’t make u do ne thing u don’t want to….so good luck….

    #15022
    AvatarLats

    like tattudemom said u really need to sort out a plan, where u will live if she duznt let u stay there, how u will survive financially, all that sorta stuff. If any of ur friends are mums ask if they have ne baby stuff they no longer require, or if friends have young siblings ask ur friends parents. i pretty much didnt have to buy ANYTHING for when my baby was born just coz of everything no one wanted nemore it was great. but yea it is NOT her decision whther or not u have ur baby, if u think u can do it without her help then go for it keep ur baby.

    #15050
    Avatarbweber

    ok…so to clear up what tattudemom said…ur mom CAN NOT kick you out BECAUSE u ARE pregnant, that’s child endangerment, which is also illegal….if u weren’t it’s perfectly legal, but not this case since u r pregnant………

    #15158
    Avatarericklirios

    First, don’t panic regardless of what the doctor eventually tells you. Seek out help where you are. Find likeminded individuals (those who don’t beleive in abortion) who can help. Seek out a teacher or guidance counselor in your school. You can also seek the help of people in churches which don’t advocate abortion. I know for a fact that Catholic organizations will help you out without even suggesting abortion. They won’t even force you to be Catholic. There are other pro-life groups out there that can help you come up with a plan.

    Be patient with your mom. She’s really scared for you. The moment a mother or father learns that her/his baby is not a baby anymore and is also having a baby, it’s nuts. THe first reaction is anger.

    HOLD YOUR GROUND. Show your mother that this experience will not show just how much a baby you still are but rather how much a woman you already are. Fine, you don’t help out at home and your grades are bad. Start helping ourt at home and study seriously. You have to show her you mean business regardless of whether the father will help or not. SHe needs to see that you will be mature and adult about this and that you are adult enough (though still under 18) to accept your mistake and face the consequences.

    She’s scared. Help her not to be.

    Lastly, pray. Even if you’re not religious, it may be time to start being so. In times like these, prayer is where your strength comes from.

    Forget abortion. You will be fine if you keep strong and don;t lose your head. There are so many women here in this site that you can look up to.

    You will be fine, honey.

    Oh, just in case you’re really not pregnant, take this as a call to abstain from sex for now.

    Erick

    #15160
    Avatargoodluckyall

    BWeber, as unfortunate as it is, girls get kicked out every day because they’re pregnant and most times, no one cares because they believe if you’re old enough to raise a baby, you should be old enough to care for it yourself. Many times, this is why girls end up in foster homes while pregnant. They do have an independent living arrangement through the foster system for those 16 and up. You can even have a scholarship for school and subsidy for taking care of your baby. At any rate, it depends on where you live as to whether or not it’s legal. In some places, once you’re pregnant (esp. over 16), you’re an adult. Or maybe all this only pertains in the south where we’re infamous for underage marriages and such. :blush:

    #15176
    Avatargina lynn

    im sorry your mother feels that way, but you need to make it clear to her that you want to keep your baby if your pregnant. it would be terrible for her to make you do something you disagree with. also it would be terrible for the innocent baby to suffer. i’ll pray for you, but please realize that adoption would be a good option, because at least the baby would be safe and sound and taken care of by a good family even if you cant keep it. please keep us posted on whats going on! good luck

    #15635
    AvatarMeg11

    You dont have to keep the baby but please dont abort!!!! Sometimes people who want to adopt will house you and take care of all of your expenses while you carry the baby. Look into your options by finding a local pregnancy center or email becky on this site or something but please dont kill your baby.

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