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December 1, 2006 at 6:26 am #13560dreamzofangels
Desperately Need Yall Opinion I am pregnant have known about 2 weeks I told my new boyfriend who I love 2 death and loves me, I told him that I was pregnant and he immediately said get an abortion because his financial situation isnt what he wants it to be and he swears that when the money and the time is right we can have our baby, I am a firm believer in the womens right to choose but i still think the opinion of the dad counts also, but after going to the Dr.s they informed me that I am alot further along then what I thought and that what I thought was a period in Oct wasnt and that means my current boyfriend is not the father, (let me bring u up 2 date) me and my boyfriend just started a relationship we were talking on the phone but were just friends and were seeing other people we were not exclusive, I had sex with someone i was just physically attracted to but not interested in relationship wise before we became exclusive I had what I believed to be a period and I felt comfortable then in starting a relationship but the dates add up exactly with the fling not my boyfriend that I love to death, and I just keep thinking if he doesnt want his own baby and flat out told me he would leave me if i had the baby (he would take care of his child) but he would end our relationship and hate me for forcing him into being a father, so i know that if i keep this baby and tell him it isnt his the relationship is definately over because not only am i pregnant but its somebody elses and im not the type to lie and tell him he’s the dad when i know he isnt. But I do love him and want this relationship and want to be with him, But I dont believe in abortion(for me) but I feel so bad because I didnt cheat I didnt do anything wrong but it’s like im being punished, this is my 2nd pregnancy my first child my daughter was stillborn and i feel blessed to have a 2nd chance at being a mom but at the same time I Really Truly Love This Boy and he has talked about females dissapointing him repeatedly and thats exactly what I have done. My question is abortion? or no abortion? Please Help Me I dont have long to decide 🙁 And I have not told him yet that he isnt the dad im thinking if i go through with abortion he never has to know but if i keep the baby he will hate me anyway just now he will hate me a little moreDecember 2, 2006 at 8:03 am #13592Kaileyamanda
i vote no abortion- you got a second chance (through such unfortunate circumstances) that many girls would love to have (though i know it must have been so hard!). a third however, chosen by your hand, hardly seems fair to your baby who hasnt done anything wrong. Not that you did either i might add. I know it would be very hard without your boyfriend and i dont doubt that you love him but you havent been together long at all. I think it would be a much better choice for you to choose your baby because he/she cant choose their life. Your baby will be forever and love you no matter what. On the other hand you bf’s love is not that way considering he would leave you but father the child if it was his. Even if my boyfriend of 3 years (my first and only for everything) left me i would still keep my child. You will live with the regret of the abortion forever and many couples who have abortions fall out because of all the stress. You have to make what decision you will but you do have another life inside you. having sex is an adult decision and it has adult consequences you are well aware of, now you have to make an adult decision… please dont run away- your baby, even now, needs you.
if you still consider abortion an option here is a site you should see. note please that it contains graphic images.
38 weeks 2 daysDecember 2, 2006 at 10:26 am #13600lisa
Hello – my name is Lisa and I am from the Stand UP Girl website. I have not been able to locate your e-mail address as of yet, but I felt this was urgent enough for me to post a Forum response ASAP.
Can I just say, that from the bottom of my heart may I say PLEASE let your baby live.
You have been through so very much. You already lost one baby and trust me when I say that loosing a baby at your own choice is so difficult to live with … the guilt is often times unbearable. You may see what I am saying and say "Wow! She is probably right." Which I can tell you are a very intelligent girl … but I have to say that you truly will NEVER know that grief, that unspoken pain. That heart wrenching reality that … you have allowed someone to talk you into allowing your baby to die. At what cost? At the cost of a relationship. You sound like such a sweet girl. You sound like you really care about your BF. Can I say this? If he truly cared about you, that you were his #1 priority … he would never ask you to do this. He is asking you to take on the sentence of guilt, shame and sorrow for a possible lifetime. Please, I’m not trying to say these things to be mean about him … but … well, I have been in the same situation as you. But you know what? I did choose abortion. Abortion changed my entire life. I did not stay with the babys father, my life took a turn down a path I had never expected it to because I tried getting rid of the pain through drugs and alcohol. Why? I realized what I had done. The very life of my baby was taken for my pure convenience.
Please understand that you are a wonderful mommy right now and yes – you do have a second chance. If your bf doesn’t want to stick with you right now – trust me when I say this … if you take a Stand. If you become a Stand Up Girl … I bet you will see him change. Even if you don’t, remember this is your baby. A living breathing baby and he says either choose your baby or me? Nooo – you would regret it. Please, choose life. Read the stories of the girls on this site that have chosen abortion and those that have chosen life.
Please e-mail me back if you want. I’m at Lisa@StandUpGirl.com
Luv LisaDecember 3, 2006 at 12:00 pm #13616Anonymous
YOU ARE IN A TERRIBLE SITUATION! DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND NOBODY ELSE!! WHAT IF YOU’RE RELATIONSHIP ENDS FOR ANOTHER REASON AND YOU HAVE THE ABORTION….IT’S SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT AND I FEEL REALLY BAD FOR YOU! ABORTION’S CAN CAUSE PROBLEMS TOO FOR CONCEIVING IN THE FUTURE…SO THINK ABOUT IT REALY HARD. EXPLAIN TO YOUR BOYFRIEND THE SITUATION AND THAT YOU MAY NEVER GET PREGNANT AGAIN AND THAT YOU WANT THE BABY… AND IF HE LEAVES YOU THEN YOU DON’T NEED HIM…
GOOD LUCK!December 4, 2006 at 11:08 am #13634angel_gal84
please keep your baby, abortion is wrong, i myself went through one and all the stress and emotional tears that come after you have it is not worth it trust me. 2 weeks after i had my abortion i docs told me i had deprssion and thats something you dont want to go through.
Me and my partner almost broke up over it because i was always upset and couldnt/wouldnt do anything all day expect sleep/lay in bed.
if you dont want this baby, give it up for adoption.
please think hard about this one
lisaxxxxDecember 4, 2006 at 12:10 pm #13638Anonymous
I am not a pro-life nut, but I do think that you already know what you want to do. I think you are just having difficulty resolving yourself to do it. If you mention that you already had a baby and are now being given a ‘second chance’ then I think you already have your mind decided–sometimes it just takes longer for our heart to go along with it. If I might add, you sound quite young, I don’t mean that offensively, but I think that people should understand how difficult it is for young people with babies.
Another option you haven’t mentioned–how about adoption? There are SO MANY people unable to have babies who would take proper care of your child–and then alleviate many of your problems. That way, you could feel good about your decision, stay with your boyfriend, and help out both your child and a family all at the same time. Give your self some time to think. Remember, you are the only person who has to live with whatever decision you make. Maybe your boyfriend is here for the long haul, maybe he isn’t, but do you want to make a decision that impacts your whole life on maybes?December 6, 2006 at 5:08 am #13705Anonymous
I agree with everybody who says no abortion. I’ll add that if this guy is saying "get an abortion or I’ll leave you" or whatever then that’s a guy you don’t want to be with anyway because he is being manipulative!!!
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