desperate to be a mum :(

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  • #22508
    Avatarjenni

    I posted a topic on here called 1 and a half years on and since then my feelings for wanting to be a mum have only become stronger. i am so incredibly happy withmy boyfriend of nearlly a year but i am so scared because he wants to go to university but i honestly don’t think that would affect it at all. I go to bed each night thinking hmmm maybe if i was a mum id be watching over my baby’s cot right now and maybe i wouldnt be shopping just for me i could be buying all my baby’s stuff nd maybe i could finaly be complete being a mum. I know my boyfriend wouldnt think it was the best life for us as he wants us to have the best life we possibly can but i honestly dont know how much longer i can go on without being a mum!! i need it its like an ache in my heart a whole in my world im not the whole jenni without my own family. I never want to loose my boyfriend and i know he would support me but i feel if i went behind his back and stopped taking my contraceptive pill on purpose and then fell pregannt without telling him i would feel i had betrayed him i dont lie to him abou anything i tell him everyting but i know if i said to him i want to try for a baby he would not be up for it!! im getting desperate as to what to do 🙁 somebody please help…….??

    #22517
    Avatarjessey223

    As hard as it will be I think you need to wait. If your relationship with your bf is meant to last you can and should wait. You should strive to have the best life you can and a admire your bf for being a stand up guy that is trying to do that for you guys and potentially you future family. Like you said in another topic you responded to the pain from an abortion (numbness) does get easier over time. Some of what you are feeling I am sure is because of the abortion and just like the numbness lessened with time so will the want for a baby. Kids are very cute but they are not going to fill that void you feel you have. Just wait and go to school, get married and have a wonderful happy environment to bring your baby up in. Best of luck. Jessica

    #22533
    AvatarAnonymous

    I completely know what it’s like to desperately want a baby… but listen to what Jessey223 said, ok? she is right on in her advice.

    #22534
    Avatarjenni

    i decided to do the right thing and talk to my boyfriend and he told me if i want those things with himm i have to wait. i feel cmpletly numb because i know i cant have what i want and i know until hes ready the hole in my hear is going to grow emptier each day… i cant stop crying :dry:

    #22543
    AvatarAnonymous

    Sweety, your boyfriend is so right. I know how bad that you want this, and your yearning is so normal. But you need to realize that it’s not the best thing at this time. You need to finish school, have a stable career, and be married. It’s so hard to be young and pregnant, having to go to school, and not being able to live and sleep every night with the one you love while the baby kicks. I feel like he’s missing out on things that I get to feel every day. It’s so difficult feeling the guilt that I do. You not only need this for yourself, but for your baby. Your baby needs the best possible life you can provide. I know that you feel ready, but the fact is- both of you need to. And you need to be stable.

    I’m here to talk anytime you’d like. 🙂

    #22546
    AvatarGangY

    hei hunny**
    i so like get what youre sayin..
    it’s been almost two years since my abortion. all i could do is think about having a baby, i was thinkin all the time that im not complete without a baby,that only a baby would make me smile (you know, so really really, and happy, big smile?)..
    that was all i was thinkin bout, deraming bout… it was the first thing about i thought in the morning,and the last in the eveinng…
    but i would say you should wait. its clear that your boyfriend loves you, but he want to finish his education,so he can provide for his family.. and he is doing the right thing.
    you should do what you are doing noe..school? find a great job,which youll enjoy doing, let your bf make his thing…youll see, you two will be soo happy then, and when

    #23495
    AvatarSlumbergirlss

    I had an abortion. I was only 12. *Please dont judge me*. I feel so bad about it. I really do. I cry almost every night. I wish I would have kept it. But because of my age my mother drove me to get an abortion herself. Ive been wanting a baby ever since. Idk why. I just think a baby would make me happy. My boyfriend wants a baby too. He didnt want me to get rid of our baby. But I was forced by my family and I was told by my mother if I kept it she would send me away to some home.

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