This topic contains 28 replies, has 20 voices, and was last updated by rachel burton .
- November 30, 2006 at 6:34 am #13512
Some can say they’re strong. I guess I’m not. My nf who got me pregnant the first time is back in my life. Date rape. I guess it is considered date rape if he forces you against your will. I never heard of it until it happened. I never reported it. Never told anyone and had an abortion. He was more than willing to let me have an abortion. Now, he’s back. I know I shouldn’t have gone back to him, and it’s starting all over. He was so sweet. Now, it’s worse. I left him and he was angry. I can’t leave him again because I could never go through the pain of another abortion, but I dont see any other options. I have to be careful as I’m very big. I’m due in february. It wasn’t always this bad. Before it just use to be sex. Now, he’s worse. He hits me. I have bruises and cuts. I can’t defend myself against him. He won’t let me go. He is trying to force me to get an abortion. He says he’s sorry. I believe him. Am I crazy to still love him? I need answers!November 30, 2006 at 11:31 am #13534
I have a friend who had a very abusive boyfriend that she later married. She eventually left him and is now married to a great guy. If he is hurting you and using you for sex you need to leave him for your own sake and your babies sake. What would it be like for your child to grow up watching you be abused?
Good luck, you will be in my prayers.
TeresaNovember 30, 2006 at 12:53 pm #13535
Hey girl, you need to walk away and get help!!! Even if you do love him, it’s not real love to let him abuse you, and he has no business forcing you to get an abortion. It’s your body, and it’s your baby too. There is help out there, and there are other girls out there standing up for their right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. On top of that there are still a few awesome men out there, who aren’t just about getting what they want. How does it make you feel that all he wants is his own pleasure??? I’m praying for you, and wish you the best!!!:)November 30, 2006 at 1:11 pm #13536
i know that it will be hard for you but i think you have to leave him if you dont want him to leave him think of your child he will prob do the same thing to him/her and thats not fair you have to get out.November 30, 2006 at 1:55 pm #13537
U can’t choose who u love but do u really want to bring up ur baby in a violent relationship? U & ur child deserve better then that. Maybe take some time out from him & just think about if its the sort of life u want 4 urself? Sometimes it only gets worse.December 1, 2006 at 2:03 am #13547
Oh honey I am so sorry you are being abused like this – and you are being severely abused. NOBODY deserves this.
Let me ask you one question: Is this the man you want to give to your child, whom you will love more than life on earth, as a FATHER?
Please think about this. If he is abusing you he will ABUSE this child. A baby only stays a baby for a short time. What will he do when your three yerar old colors on a wall? Oh my God – I can barely stand to think about it.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go to someone, ANYONE, for help. There are shelter, hotlines, GET AWAY FROM HIM FOR YOUR OWN SAKE AND THE SAKE OF YOUR PRECIOUS PRECIOUS CHILD!!!!
Please honey- you DESERVE better and you CAN put your life back together.
WHy is nobody else reaching out to help this poster????December 1, 2006 at 6:04 am #13559
Forunately, if you’re due in February, it is probably illegal for you to get an abortion now. Different states have different guidelines but in most places you can’t abort a baby that old. So you and your baby are legally safe if he tries to force you to abort.
The bad news: your bf sounds really violent and if he figures out that you’re having this baby no matter what, I’m afraid he might punch you in the stomach or something. If you’ve broken up with him and he’s still bothering you, GET A RESTRAINING ORDER. You don’t have to report the rape if you are uncomfortable doing that, all you need to do is show that he’s violent, won’t leave you alone, and is pressuring you to get an abortion. That is MORE than enough for any judge with half a brain.December 1, 2006 at 9:32 am #13564
baby girl, you stand up for what you believe in!! If you want to keep your baby, there are ways to get help. And no, you are not crazy for loving this guy. We don’t choose who we love, and it just shows that you are a caring and forgiving person to be able to love him and look past all that he’s doing to you. But that doesn’t mean you should stay with him. If he’s hurting you, and using sex against you, I encourage you to GET OUT! I know it hurts your heart and that you are afraid to miss him, but if he won’t let you save your baby’s life, he won’t let you save your own. I don’t know if you have a close relative or friend that could help you, but I would start there. And if you are continuing to get hurt, go to the police. They are there to help you, and they can arrest him if he is doing this to you. Good luck and God bless you.December 1, 2006 at 6:32 pm #13571
Girl, I have one thing to say to you. Get out of there, and quick. You’re not crazy to still love him–you’re only human. But should you still love him? Absolutley not. Go to the poliece if you have to. Stay with a relative until you feel you and your baby are safe. You should NEVER have to be afraid of someone who is supposed to love you. That’s not love, that’s control. If this guy really loved you he would be willing to sacrifice what he may want for you and the child you have created. You and your baby deserve all the best things life has to offer, and this is never going to happen as long as this man is still in your life. I know it’s hard, but for your sake and the sake of your little baby, Stand Up, Girl!! Get out of this abusive relationship as soon as you possibly can. I will be praying that happens as soon as you read this message.
God bless you! Let me know if you ever want to talk! I’m always here.
emilyDecember 2, 2006 at 1:50 am #13576
Hey Sweetie, I’m sorry to say this but that man (if you can call him that) is never going to change. I know from personal experience that if he hits you once he will hit you again and again. Of course you already know that don’t you? He obviously doesn’t love you and believe it or not you don’t love him either. I think you just feel obligated to stay because you’re having a child together. If you stay with him I guarantee you will regret it. Is this the kind of life you want for your child? Think about it, if your having a boy and he grows up in that type of lifestyle he will grow up and do the same thing to his wife/girlfriend. And if you have a girl she will grow up thinking that this type of behavior is acceptable and in 20 years she could be in your same situation. Is that what you want for your child? I’m sure you don’t. If this man is capable of hitting you while your pregnant with his child, don’t you think he will eventually start abusing your child too? If you can’t leave him for your own sake, shouldn’t you at least try to leave him for your innocent child’s sake? I’m not saying it’s going to be easy because its going to be very hard in the beginning but it will get better in time. I’d really like to talk to you more about this because I am really worried for you, so please email me if you’d like. If you’d rather not I can respect that, but I’ll be here if you need to talk. Well, I’ll definitely be praying for you! Hope to hear from you again.December 2, 2006 at 6:16 am #13581
Thank you for all your feedback, but you see I can’t leave him. I couldn’t go to the police and I sure as hell can’t go back home. I wish that this baby wasn’t there. He’s wearing me down. He said he knows someone who will do it regardless of how far along I am. I can’t say yes, but scared to say no. I’m more that a coward I’m so terrified I won’t even protect my own child. I couldn’t bare to loose another child. You see, he would kill me or my baby or make me wish he did, if I leave him again. I don’t have anywhere to go.December 2, 2006 at 6:46 am #13582
loving him is one thing but you shouldnt be with him. its dangerous for you and now your child. of course you care about your baby so you should leave because that is no life for your child esp. if he doesnt even want the baby. Its too bad if he wants you to have an abortion- youre due in february so it is waaay illegal for you to have one and would be hard to just lose the baby from being hit. what you have to be careful of is getting an abruption if he hits you. if you see blood at all (since you know youre not due for a good minute) then your placenta could have detatched from a blow and by the time you get to the hospital its often too late for baby. im sorry i know that sounds horrible but its one of the terrible truths for you to be aware of. you have to leave so that you and your child have a better life. theres so much help available and you will find a guy who treats you so great and who wants a baby- then this will all seem like some distant nightmare. but get out now please!
38 weeks 2 daysDecember 3, 2006 at 4:31 pm #13628
It is hard to get away from someone when you still love them but you have to think of the future and the baby.You dont want to have your child bashed and bruised just because he is angry and its not good for you either.
I hope you can get some help and get away from him before its too late.December 4, 2006 at 2:51 am #13632
You need to report this to the police and get a restraining order. He has already messed up your life, do not continue to let him. I know that it is hard to take action against someone that you love, but it is for the good of both of you. What if he continues to do this to you? What if he does this to someone else. I’m sure you don’t want anyone to have to go through the pain he has caused you.
I do not think you are stupid for letting him come back, but you are not giving yourself what you are worth. You are worth way more than the way he is treating you. You are a princess and that is how you should expect to be treated. Princesses do not have bruises and scratches all over their bodies. You are special and your body is too. Is this the Prince Charming you have always dreamed about? Girl, your Prince Charming is out there, and it is definitely not this guy. Start giving yourself what you deserve.December 4, 2006 at 12:26 pm #13639
don’t tell us you can’t leave this man. you can, and you absolutely have to. you don’t have to tell him you’re leaving–just go, at the first possible opportunity. go to the nearest police or fire station and ask for help. explain your situation to them and they will not turn you away. you and your baby will be protected and cared for! they will be able to refer you to agencies that can help you through the rest of your pregnancy and beyond. Birthright is an amazing pregnancy counseling organization that has offices all over the US, Britain, and Canada. their toll-free # is 1-800-550-4900, and their website is http://www.birthright.org. you can search to find the closest location to where you live. who knows, it could be right down the street, and even if it isn’t, they can still help you.
GO TO THE POLICE AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS MESSAGE. GET HELP NOW OR YOU WILL REGRET IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! he doesn’t love you OR your baby. your baby is counting on you to protect him/her! YOU CAN DO THIS! we are all praying for you. just trust that God will see you through this difficult time.
you and your baby deserve so much better than this!! i wish you the best of luck–keep us posted! don’t make it too long until we hear from you again!
God bless yoU!
emilyDecember 4, 2006 at 12:51 pm #13640
oh my gosh that makes me so mad:angry: honey please get help there are places out there tell your parents please do sompthing!!!!!!! just think when your child gets older what will he do to him/her please i am begging you get help!!!!!!!!
luv to all marrisaDecember 4, 2006 at 1:41 pm #13643
That is ridiculous! Nobody deserves to be treated that way! You should run as fast as you can in the opp. direction, or he needs to get help! Don’t let someone treat you badly, they will do it forever and never change!!December 5, 2006 at 11:56 am #13671
girl get yourself out of that relationship. for yourself and for your baby! you deserve so much better than that. leave him. you dont have to have another abortion if you dont want to, and you dont have to be with that terrible man. i’ll pray for you that god gives you the strength to leave him for good this time. good luck.December 7, 2006 at 2:14 pm #13759
I was in an abusive situation and wanted to keep my baby so I moved changed jobs changed my last names and mever talked to any of my friends again. Hard but 6 years later it was well worth it. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and in situations like ours .. often its better to just DISAPPEAR let me know how you are doingDecember 10, 2006 at 10:35 pm #13827
Honey, you don’t need this guy hurting you, or your baby. He can’t force you to do anything YOU don’t want to do. I agree on what some of the other girls said. Break up , and if needed, get a restraining order. You don’t deserve to hurt repeatedly for something he FORCED you do to in the first place. If he couldn’t handle the consequences of sex, he shouldn’t have made you do it. THe sound of this guy makes me sick. I’ve been in an abusive relationship. I broke it off, and got a restraining order. If he comes within 100 feet of me, he gets arrested. It works well. Don’t make yourself stay in a situation that hurts you.. that isn’t love.. get out of it.., and SOON.December 12, 2006 at 2:25 am #13840
baby girl you dont understand what he is doing to you. YOU NEED TO GET OUT. he is not going to change and he WILL end up killing YOU OR YOU BABY.TALK TO SOMEONE. ANYONE. email me at anytime and i will talk to you and help you get through this!!!! this guy is an ass… dont you see that. he doesnt love you and he is NOT sorry he is just playing mind games with you. dont believe a word he says. he is just playing you. leave. you can leave. go to the police they will help you. trust me. and trust all the other girls on this telling you to leave. im so worried for you and my heart goes out to you.
I know what it feels like to be raped and not being able to report it. been there done that and it was not easy. dont let him wear you down. dont listen to him. please get out. all of us one Stand Up Girl are rooting for you. Now STAND UP! and do what you know in your heart is right. leave get a restraining order and have your baby and love it. cause it will always love you back. he doesnt love you and never will…. and if you think about it. i bet you will realize that you dont love him either and that you are just scared.December 15, 2006 at 6:18 am #13948
My baby……..i left him….as for birthright there’s none even relatively close to me. he calls my cell all the time. im sorry i wasted ur guyz time…..really i am.i cant get a rerstraining order against him. i miss him so much….no1 said it would hurt so bad to leave him….my pushed me down stairs, he almost killed me and baby…:angry: i have bruised ribs and a sprained wrist. my wrist doesn’t hurt so bad anymore. anyone know if people would hire me? i need the money. i have some money saved, we’re living in a 1 room apartment.December 15, 2006 at 9:16 pm #13981
you have not wasted any of our times thats what we are here for to help each other. why cant you get an r/o against him???December 19, 2006 at 6:30 am #14033
email me please… you have not wasted anyones time especially mind. i am here for you. my heart aches for you. you can get out of this. dont let your baby go through what you have had to go through…. why make your self anymore. you dont desearve this. please leave. i am begging you…..:dry: 🙁
i am so worried about you. please listen to us… you need to leave.February 5, 2007 at 7:18 am #14961
It does hurt, but after a certain period of time you will never regret your decision. I promise. It’s so hard to have the strength to leave an abusive relationship, but you’ve taken the first step. I’m so proud of you for leaving, Have you seen a doctor? You need to be seen after that man pushed you down the stairs. Someone listed a great website here that porvides so many wonderful resources for preg. women. Don’t feel like you have wasted anyone’s time. We are all here for each other, and we are all here to support eachother becuase we can all relate to some of the same curcumstances. Please stay strong. You will miss him, but you CAN NOT go back to him. I did it a few times and it makes it so much harder the next time and this guy could become even more scary if he knew you were trying to ‘run away’ from him. You are not running away, but he may feel thus way because he sees you as his porperty. Please stay safe.
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