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January 27, 2007 at 7:42 pm #14779evelyn805
My babys daddy and I argue about our son. I’ve had my son with me since that day he was born. Now that his dad is going to be moving to Arizona he wants to take him away with him. I tell him no that he just cant take him and leave. He tells me why not hes my son too. Then we have this arguement. I want to get custody of my son so one day he wont take my son and never bring him back. I dont want to be with him again and he tells me if i end up with another guy he will never talk to me and take my son away from me. He hasnt even been there for my son! What do i need or what should i know so i can win this battle?January 28, 2007 at 6:09 am #14783goodluckyall
As far as I know, if you are the sole provider and he’s physically lived with you since birth, you have "custody" of your son already, especially if you’re listed as a single parent on any public assistance papers, medical papers, or legal papers. To be on the safe side, however, you can consult an attorney to find out how much it is to get "emergency/temporary custody" as some mothers do at the beginning of a divorce. Thay way, if he were to try and claim custody, you’ll have actual papers stating otherwise. Remember though that even if you have custody, he can take off with your son if he’s so inclined. It happens every day. So, if you ever get to the point of having genuine fear of this and know that it’s not an idle threat, get a restraining order and explain this reason to the authorities.January 28, 2007 at 7:10 am #14785mommytoele
I’ve been here too, several times- I have had the chance to talk about "Custody" (Visitation, child support, etc. about the Court and the system)… I know have the chance to tell you some too. I want to tell you that you should go for Child Support- if you have not already. In NYS, it’s 17% of what your ex makes, (for one child). Your son may mean the world to you, but my daughter means the world to me as well. In this sense, I still have to hand my daughter over for Visitation- it’s so hard, and I wish I could tlel you that you were going to get full-custody of your son. But, in reality- Full Custody is now usually* only granted to Foster Care parents, and people like that- you really have to prove how bad of a person the ex is… It’s so hard to do that now days… Even abuse. I think many people would agree- even people that have been abused (Like me by my daughter’s father…) it’s hard to prove, unless you have marks that are fresh, that he’s abusive. I wish you the best on getting primary custody.
Have you already filed a petition?
Keep in touch.
NickiJanuary 28, 2007 at 12:41 pm #14794melanie1989
i am going through some of the same situations.l have even gone to talkto an attorney. your best bet would be to scedule a consultation (there are some free ones) with an attorney in your area (since i dont know your states laws) and talkto them about it. it helped me so much. calmed me down a lot. but if your the mom the bottom line is he cant take full custody no matter what unless he has a reason (which usually is heavy drugs or alchohol) and hopefully your not any of those. but i would say talk to an attorney and not listen to your friends or him. he is just a guy who thinks he has power over everything. hun you carried your baby in you for 9 months and he is more a part of you then dad. most courts grant sole custody to mother and visitation to fathers. and if he leaves state you even have a chance of getting full custody so that you can take care of the child. good luck. best wishes.
~MelanieJanuary 28, 2007 at 8:34 pm #14797daciar32
Hello, I am sorry you are going through this, however I will tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnell. I am not sure what the custody laws in your state is, but I can completely relate. It is unlikely that your ex will get physical custody of your child, the courts will seldom seperate children from their mothers unless they have deemed unfit, i.e drug issues, a unstable environment ect. My advice to you is to not waste any more time and visit your local child support services dept. then head right over to the cout and file for sole physical custody. Ask about waivers, if you are limited income wise there are services that will allow you to get these documents filed through the court at no cost to you except the copies of the documents you will need to file with the court. You will then be redirected to the local mediation dept. where you can state your case. You can state that you have had primary custody of your child since day 1. The courts will generally be for the best interest of the child, I wholly encourage you to do this. Log onto your state and child custody weblinks and utilize this info. Conatct me for further support. Goodluck!!!!!!
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