confused,scared,angry….and loosing my mind!!!

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  • #28367
    AvatarPretty

    …. About a week ago, I found out I was pregnant,don’t know how because I always insist on using protection with my boyfriend.but he doesn’t like condoms,so im guessin maybe he took it out during sex without me knowing.im 19 and not ready for a baby,I still have my career to take care of,and my parents will be soo disappointed in me, and they too can’t afford to take care of a baby. They both are out of jobs,and im at university through scholarship,and the little allowance I get I use to pay fees for my younger siblings.I cant take care of a baby!!!!!!Ive thought about abortion,but I don’t have the money for it,as I hear its quite expensive.soo many thoughts are going through my mind,ive even thought of suicide a couple of times…I tried telling my boyfriend but he just walked out on me and he doesn’t answer my calls,just walks past me on campus,even if I trying talking to him.im sooo angry at him,and i hate him soo much right now!!!!i don’t have any close friends I can trust that I can talk too.there’s too much going on im my mind,I feel like im loosing it!im starting with my final exams in about 3 weeks, I know im going to fail cause I haven’t started preparing,I can’t even think straight…my parents are gonna be soo disappointed,im gonna loose my scholarship and be a laughing stock of the village I come from. Im from Swaziland,a small country in Southern Africa,and Im in university in another country,more than 2000 km’s away from home!!!!!i was suppose to be my parents pride,get an engineering degree and make their lifes better!now all that is gone…I am loosing my mind here…please help!!!

    #28399
    AvatarAlice Cooper

    It’s very sad. Your boyfriend shouldn’t have done this to you. It’s his responsibility as well. But now, you need to decide on whether you want to give birth to the child or not. As far as your career is concerned, there are lot of things you can do comfortably and take care of the child as well. I believe you are having science background. So I would suggest to go for some online degree in any health technician programs. Online course won’t put much stress on you, and such courses take only a maximum of 2 years for completion. Choose a college which has grants scheme, that will take care of your cost of studies as well. I found a site on web http://ultrasoundtechschool.org/ultrasound-tech-college-grants-2/ which has list of some such colleges. This would help you in continuing your studies and would also help in taking care of the new born as well. As soon as you finish your studies you can easily get a job, as health technicians, mostly ultrasound technicians are in demand nowadays.

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