CONFUSED-PLEASE GIVE ADVICE!

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This topic contains 10 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by kez_mummy_2_skye Kerry Atkinson .

Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
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  • #8474

    Anonymous

    HELLO, MY STRONG BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. I AM NICOLE-I AM NEW TO THIS SITE AND I NEED SOME ADVICE. USUALLY I CAN HANDLE ON MY OWN, THIS BEING MY 5TH UNPLANNED AND "UNEXPECTED" PREGANANCY….HOWEVER THIS TIME IT IS DIFFERENT BECAUSE MY OTHER 3 CHILDREN ARE BY THE SAME MAN-MY EX-BYFREND…WE HAVE BEEN APART FOR OVER 2 YEARS NOW AND I AM A SINGLE MOM….MET AND FELL IN LOVE W/ A WONDERFAUL MAN…WE ARE GETTING MARRIED AND EVERYTHING BETWEEN US IS PRETTY GREAT-WE GO TO CHURCH AND HE LOVES MY KIDS-WE MET EACH OTHERS ENTIRE FAMILIES–GREAT…WE GOT PREGNANT 3 MONTHS AGO AND WE DECIDED ON ABORTION. IWAS EXTREMELY HARD TO GO THROUGH BOTH EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY…TO THE POINT THAT I AM ACTUALLY SCARED TO DO IT AGAIN.( I TOOK THE ABORTION PILL-BUT WAS 7 WEEKS ALONG AND IT WS HORRIBLE) I AM FINE NOW BUT AM PREGNANT AGAIN AND VERY CONFUSED…OF ALL MY PREGNANCIES THIS IS THE HARDEST CHOICE TO MAKE. I DON’T WANT ANOTHER BABY…MY YOUNGEST IS 15 MOS….ALSO I CANNOT HANDLE ANOTHER BABY ON MY OWN. I ALSO VOWED TO MYSELF AND GOD THAT IF HE FORGAVE ME FOR THE ABORTION I WOULD NEVER DO IT AGAIN…MY MAIN FEAR IS THAT THIS BABY WILL TEAR APART THE WONDERFUL 6 MONTH RELATIONSHIP THAT WE ARE JUST STARTING TO BUILD TOGETHER AND THAT HIS KIDS AND MYKIDS WILL BE JEALOUS OF THE BABY THAT WE WOULD HAVE IN COMMON. I DON’T WANT ANYONE TO GET HURT BY OUR HAVING A BABY AND I DON’T WANT TO LOSE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE OVER THIS UNEXPECTED HARDSHIP. THERE ARE MANY CONS ONLY A FEW PROS…PLEASE, IF YOU CAN HELP WITH A FEW WORDS…DO! I WILL NOT TAKE OFFENSE…JUST NEED SOMEONE’S OPINION.

    #8635

    Anonymous

    Hi Nicole

    I can’t say that I know the predicament that you are in as I have never been there myself. But you asked for some one’s opinion and my heart goes out to you and your unborn baby. If I feel this way towards you when all I have read are your words then I think of how much God must love you and how He is yearning to help you. The decision is ultimately up to you but I implore you to explore alternatives to abortion before making your decision. There are couples out there who would love to adopt a beautiful little baby so maybe this is an option that you could think about? God created that life that is growing inside you and He already loves it so much! Please try not to break that promise that you made to God. There are alternatives Nicole. I pray that you will ultimately make the right decision.

    You will be in my prayers!

    All my love
    Loren

    #8686

    Anonymous

    I agree 100% with Loren there is always open adoption where you can know your baby and the family she/he is with that way they can take the baby as their own but you still know your child!

    #9146

    Anonymous

    Nicole-
    Hon, I’ll be praying for you and for your baby. You didn’t really mention thinking about this, but have you considered adoption? I don’t mean to be pushy at all, it’s just that so many people don’t even think it through, when it’s such a loving choice for you child- and for you, and for your children that you have now. If I read you right on this, you love your unborn child dearly, but feel unable to take on parenting another right now. I would strongly suggest talking to people who’ve placed their child for adoption (like me, but others also), who, for one reason or another, found themselves in a similar situation. Maybe you’d give your child life, and give someone else, in a different place in their life, an opportunity to parent a child they’d dearly love and would be ready for? Again, my prayers are with you.
    -Kathryn

    Post edited by: Julie, at: 2005/08/30 04:27

    #9157
    Kit
    kate Sydik

    Nicole,

    I admire the strength you have provided for your 3 children. It sounds like you have been a great mother and care very much about them. I am sorry about your experience with the past abortion and I can understand your fears about your current pregnancy situation. It sounds like you are still dealing with the emotional and physical pain from your abortion. I am sorry that you had to go through that experience. Have you discussed your feelings with your boyfriend? Have you told him about the pain you felt and about your prayers and promises to God? If your boyfriend truly loves you and cares about you he shouldn’t force you or pressure you into making that painful choice again. If he really loves you and you have a strong relationship together he will stand by you and care for you whether you decide to raise this child or to give it up for adoption.

    I would agree with the previous posts that adoption sounds like a good choice for your situation. You could even look at an open adoption in which you could still have some contact with your child. Many adoption programs will cover the financial costs of pregnancy and delivery.

    Kate

    #9160

    Anonymous

    Nicole, I stumbled across this website today in an effort to search out abortion laws and why I feel the laws must become more strict.
    I had an abortion many years ago and it has affected me ever since. I am the most blessed to have been given two healthy, now grown, children since. You have a precious, gift inside on you right now. Maybe, as has been said, the gift is for you to offer that Created life in your tummy a family you don’t even know right now. I know of many, many couples who desire to raise a family but do not have the physical capabilities to carry a baby to term or cannot even get that far.
    I believe God, the same God who has created your beautiful body has a purpose for the child inside you. I believe that if you choose to allow God to lead you during this most difficult time, He will 1. be gloified, 2. You will see the blessings that come from being obedient. 3. Your family will grow closser in the process. As spoken before, if your boyfriend loves you. He will accept the responsibility of the actions you have both chosen to get where you are and he will step up to be the man God indends for him to be. Sounds like you both desire to please God and are taking steps to seek God’s best for yourselves. You cannot worry about the money or other provisions at this point. If you weren’t meant to be pregnant, to offer this life back to God for protection, He would not have allowed the pregnancy in the first place. I believe that. Your heavenly Father is bringing you to himself through this life changing circumstance. He will, I PROMISE, honor you for your honoring him and the life inside. Better yet, who am I?! God himself promises that he will work all these things together for the good of those who are his children. You are his precious daughter. A princess! You are royalty and the life you carry is a Prince or Princess too! I will pray for you, dear one.

    #9162

    Anonymous

    everyone has there own oppinion but u need to keep ur options open…some ppl out there cant EVER have children…i hear your concern but think about it this way if ur gonna get an abortion becuz u dont think that u can provide for this child then let someone else do it for u….please dont give up an inocent life that has yet to voice its own opinion on things..give the baby a chance…please..in the end its all up to u…please up date the rest of us on ur decision…

    Love your suporters through it all,

    Alecia

    #11594

    Anonymous

    WELL FIRST GOD BLESS U
    U R A WONDERFLY STRONG WOMEN TO HAVE TAKEN CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN
    I THINK IT WOULD BE WISE FOR U TO KEEP THIS 1 GOD ALLOWED U TO GO THOUGH THAT EXSPERIENCE AND U KNOW NOW
    DO WHAT U FEEL GOD HAS WATCH OVER U THIS HOLE TIME A CHILD IS A BLESSIN HARD WORK DOES PAY OFF IN THE LONG RUN
    YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD WILL GROW STRONGER
    IF THIS MAN NOW LOVE U HE`LL WALK WITH U
    IF NOT THEN WALK WITH YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND GOD BY YOUR SIDE WATCHING OVER YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN AND THE ANGEL THATS ABOVE WATCHIN U
    KINDNESS KILLS
    TEACH YOUR BABIES TO HELP U WITH THE NEW MEMBER
    AND THEY WON`T IF U DON`T EXQUILED THEM

    GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS
    FROM CHASTITY
    FROM THE BRONX .N.Y.

    #11781
    lissy012207
    Alyssa Mainhart

    I know im only 16 but i think i can maybe help. I know you already had an abortion so you know how it feels but i dont think you should get another one. its not my place to tell you what to do, im just giving my opinion. My boyfriend is 22 years old. I was in a car accident and lost mobility in my left arm. i had to choose my arm or the baby bc once the babys born the nerves in my arm will be completely dead. I chose the baby. I know you dont think you can do it as a single mom but take it from someone in my situation.. The dad wont even be able to sign the birth cerificate till im 18. Hes gonna be there but i cant even get a job with my arm. If you choose to abort the baby, your hubby should respect your decision. If you choose to keep it, your kids will be jealous at first but then theyll learn to love the child. Whatever you choose to do is your choice. I hope you keep it and let it grow up and have a life but thats just me b/c i know someone who was forced to abort her child so im all against it now but you need to do whats in your heart. as the saying goes "follow your heart"

    goodluck with everything and if u need anything get at me0

    #12754

    Anonymous

    My husband and I are in an open adoption with our son’s birthparents. They are still ac ouple and raising an older child together. Believe it or not, most babies that are placed for adoption are placed by women who area already raising children!

    Open adoption is a wonderful option. We would love to adopt another baby and awe are all "court ecertified" to do so. If you were to ever consider adoptin, please fee lfre to email me. It’s only an email. mmwish2adopt@yahoo.com

    I hope you find peace in your decision. In the end, everything willl work out the way it should!

    #13285
    kez_mummy_2_skye
    Kerry Atkinson

    Honestly if he will act badly to this situation and tell you that the relationship will end, he isnt the man you thought he was. Maybe a baby will make you guys stronger?
    What about Adoption to a family that cant have kids?

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