confused and broke at 19

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  • #9979

    Anonymous

    I’ve been reading hese forums and i haven’t ran into anyone with quite the same predicament as mine. I’m 19 years old and i’m about 2 months pregnant. my boyfriend isn’t there for me and my family doesn’t know. I just got a great job but i’m still in the just starting to grow phase of life… when you get a car and apt. and start school. the only person i’ve been able to count on at this point is my best friend who has a set of twins herself. I have so many things to wheigh. i’m finding it hard to figure it oout on y own.

    I’ve grown really close to her (the child inside me) but my doctor says the chances of me actually being able to have the child is 10% and there’s a chance it might be a still born at that. i know if my family finds out my mother would disown me. my sister the person i’m living with would be more stressed out then necessary. my little sister is excited but i figure if i tell my family and miscarry after causing all this grief what would of been the point?? my mother would still be disappointed. my sister would still be stressed.. it would be twice as bad.. but everytime i think about aborting her i want cry… i’ve misscarried before and i never want to go through that again. i still feel like i did something wrong and i don’t think i want to go through that again…

    any help that anyone can give or any advice would be really apreciated…

    sincerly
    Amber

    #9989

    Anonymous

    First, how can the baby’s distress be "your fault"? If you weren’t on birth control, your responsible for being careless if you weren’t ready to be a mom. Well, it’s not your fault this baby’s having a hard time right now. It’s the circle of life, not to sound cheesy, but some things happen for a reason. Not sure if anyone else can offer something on this, but I’ve never heard of a dr saying there’s a 10% chance to carry a baby to full term without giving the reason why. Analyze the reason why, then…go with your gut feeling.

    I’m 5 mths preg myself. Even though I’m 29, I’ve been with someone for 3 years. He’s someone I’m not in love with. I feel pressured to get married. The point is..we go through challenging times to come out a stronger person.

    Whatever the case, you’ll be a stronger person as a result of going through this.

    Good luck

    #9991
    Kit
    kate Sydik

    Amber,

    If you feel close and attached to your baby, then you should listen to your heart and keep this baby. I’m not sure what the problems with the pregnancy are or why the doctor is giving negative predictions. I did have doctors give me some scary news in my own pregnancy but I hung i there and thank God everything seems like it is going to be healthy and OK.

    I know how difficult miscarriage can be. Perhaps the baby won’t make it, but if you have an abortion there will be no chance that the baby will make it. It sounds like your sister loves you and is there for you. I doubt that she would want you to feel like you have to choose an abortion even though you don;t want one just on her account. Also your family may be a little surprised and disappointed by the pregnancy, but my guess is that they will be more supportive than you might think.

    If money is an issue you should contact Birthright or your local crisis pregnancy center and they might be able to help with pregnancy and baby supplies or point you in directions to get financial help. You could also see if you qualify for WIC or medicaid. If you feel that you are not ready for motherhood then adoption is also a good option.

    I can’t make the decision for you, but I am here for you if you need to talk. I hope and pray that you choose to give life to your little girl. Best wishes.

    Kate

    #10020

    Anonymous

    Hi,
    I read your message and I am 21 years old. I really think I know how you feel. When I was 19 I also got pregnant and did not tell my family of anyone , but my best friend. It was really hard and I decided to have an abortion. I regret doing what I did and I cant dwell on my past, but what I can do is tell you that it is not worth it. It drains you emotionally and I promise you will not be happy for a while. I know that you said the baby COULD be still born, but you know at least if you have the baby you would know. I am telling you this, because I dont want anyone else to go through what i did and this is really the first time I have ever got on here. If anything, please think about what i have told you. Good luck 🙂

    #10074

    Anonymous

    Heyy, I wanted to tell you a story. My boyfriend’s ex got pregnant when they were together (it’s not his but thats a different story). They didn’t tell her family because her doctor was making all these dire predictions, just like yours. She had several complications and then an emergency c-section at 6 months. BUT, although Seth, the baby, was in the NICU and hospital for about three months he survived and,best of all, thrived. The last time my boyfriend saw him he was a happy walking, talking, one year old. The moral of this story is that I’ve realized that doctors always give you the worst possible outcome because they don’t want you to sue them later and say "you didn’t tell me this could happen." If you’re already two months along then I would say there’s a good chance you can do this if you take care of yourself and your body. best wishes.
    sara

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