Clueless on what to do

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  • #24637
    Avatarkermits_elmo15


    So i’m not too sure where to begin.. I went out with this guy and well we had sex numerous times. The one time we use protection, it broke and i got pregnant. Thing is.. We had pretty much broken up cause he really didnt have feelings for me but feelings for my friend. Yeah, i found out i was pregnant before they started dating but like 2-3 weeks after we broke up.. Well he freaked out and didnt know what to do. He tried real hard to convince me for an abortion. But i was raised with christian backgrounds. I’m not getting an abortion but now we have fought so much about it that we dont even talk to each other. [i hate it]
    But i was considering giving my baby to my best mate’s parents for adoption but i just dont think i can do that now. But if i keep him then i will miss my chances of medical school and finishing high school..
    Any suggestions?
    I’m desperate =/

    x.0.x
    <3

    #24639
    AvatarAnonymous

    Well at least you have people to adopt if that’s what you choose. Don’t think you can’t finish school because you can, maybe you will have to take some time off but you still can.
    There are day cares etc and many girls on here even finished because they had kids. Sure it will be hard but if you put your heart to it you can do anything you want, believe that because its true. Anything you want. The dad may come around, he is scared. Any boy usually is. Keep us updated. Email me if you want and we can talk
    Anyone here will give you help if you ask.

    #24642
    Avatarmyangelsinheaven

    Hello,
    You seem to have been putting a lot of thought into taking responsibility for your baby, as a result of having sex. That’s being mature and accountable for your choices and you should be proud that you’ve gotten that far in your thinking. Whether you decide to keep your baby and work through your life with him/her by your side, or find a loving home for your baby, the choice will have to be your own. I have a brother and sister who cannot have children of their own and are working on their second adoption….waiting. The first little one to come into their life is from a young teen who felt she couldn’t provide for her, but also had some selfish desires of her own to go back to her own ways of life after the adoption. It can be very rewarding for a lot of different reasons. The adoptive parents love and desire for a child is fullfilled, and my brother and sister-n-law have left the adoption open so the young girl can be a part of her life still. Most importantly….she was aloud to LIVE!! The young girl had enough maturity and supportive guidance to lead her in that direction to give her baby to another couple. Now she’s my neice!!

    If you, however, decide to keep your baby the baby will benefit in that also. You should read some other stories in the forum highlights. (just look above in the top tool bar of the site, under community) There are many stories like yours from other young girls facing graduating in a few years and have plans to go off to college. Some have made the choice to carry the baby and finish school…nothing about carrying the baby will prevent you from finishing high school. (you may just miss a day here or there). Friends also have a way of helping out with school work etc….

    I was a new graduate and wanted to go off to be a flight nurse for the military….then my best friend came into my life and swept me off my feet. College would’ve been a major part of that life as well, but God had another plan for me. I had enough brains to get scholarship money to go to Arizona State along with being offered a sports scholarship for track…….well my life needless to say didn’t turn out like I PLANNED, and I certainly didn’t get the CHANCE to be a nurse or a famous athlete, but I have something more valuable than all the fame, titles or credentials in the world. Children!!! Quite a few mind you, and I never regret my choice to accept God calling me to motherhood.

    I did go to school eventually though while my oldest was a baby, I’d take night classes and my best friend would babysit or if Dad wasn’t traveling he would be with her. I made it through 2 1/2 yrs of classes before we decided to have another baby, and I figured out by then, I was happier just being with my babies and teaching them all I knew. The rewards of motherhood are endless and will give you more tender, intimate and loving memories of your life with them that it would overflow all the bedtime story books ever written.

    Be patient in making your decision, and never mind that your ex is not along side supporting you. God has a way of touching many hearts whether they want it or not. I just would wish that you turn to prayer and quiet contemplation before chosing the life for your child.

    Many prayers for God’s will to be done.
    myangelsinheaven

    #24643
    Avatarkermits_elmo15

    The only sad thing about him coming around is that he’s now going out with my ‘friend’. Not that i liked her anyway but i just really am hoping that he will come around after a while. I’m only 10 weeks pregnant now so yeah.. But i dont like the idea of my baby not having or knowing its dad.. He’s made it quite clear he wants nothing to do with it. Which gives me my doubts about him ever coming around.

    #24644
    Avatarmyangelsinheaven

    Don’t make your decision to give your baby up for adoption based on the fact that your ex may or may not support you or want a part in this. Time and reflection has a way of bringing people together in peace and acceptance, when earlier, in the heat of the situation hearts were closed off to understanding and love. Don’t try and figure out all the ins and outs of this all at once. It’s impossible to anticipate what will happen with this, or with that…..or concerning him, or anyone elses reactions. You will drive yourself crazy. Listen to what your heart is trying to tell you about the baby that is growing right now inside your body, and let the Holy Spirit guide your decision about the future for YOU and YOUR BABY!!

    #24645
    Avatarkermits_elmo15

    I have always been listening to my heart. Until one night when Jason [the father] said my heart is in the right place but his my mind? That got me thinking but i was like well i want this baby more then anything so yeah.
    He knows i want this baby and thats all that really matters to me..
    I dont care what he says. Its just said that my baby wont ever know his daddy.. But i’m hoping in time Jason will come around =[

    #24646
    Avatarmyangelsinheaven

    I know….I hear it in your words. I don’t have to hear your voice to feel your sadness. If you could pray for acceptance with regards to Jason and his decision, that whatever God wills to happen, you will accept it. Then, you may find that you can focus on just you and nourishing your body, getting to the doctor for care, taking your vitamins, and getting fresh air. While your baby is growing inside of you, hearing your voice, resting and being nourished inside your warm body, the bond between you and her, (I’m pickin favorites) will begin to strengthen and you will radiate that love to the world. It will be so obvious that God is working in your life and that alone may speak volumns to Jason. Be patient…..and let God work his miracle in your life now that you’ve said “Yes” to giving life to HIS child.

    I will pray for you,
    myangelsinheaven

    #24647
    Avatarkermits_elmo15

    I dont think i would have ever said no to giving birth to my baby..
    There’s no way in hec i would do that..
    I love my baby and the father [unfortnately].. He will see me with the baby and i’m sure he will come around..
    People say once the father sees his baby he will want them muchly.
    But i’ll believe that when i see it lol..
    Yeah..

    #24648
    AvatarKanye

    Hey,im Kanye & im 19.I was in your situation 4yrs ago.Me & baby dadddy dated from primary school until high school,i got pregnant.And then things changed!!He left me & i never thought i’d be able to cope on my own,but i did.That’s the thing with us women-we are sooo strong!I understand why you want your baby to have his/her daddy around,but this is the time for you to be selfish.Concentrate on yourself & your baby,if he eventually comes around great,but if he doesn’t its not the end only the beginning. Stay blessed,grace-peace-love Kanye 🙂

    #24665
    Avatarkermits_elmo15

    Hah yeah thanks.. My best friend reckons i’m being selfish about this but in a sad way.. I just have all these opinions coming from all my close friends from all these points of view and it has me stressed.. The biggest fear i have for my baby is it resenting me for him having such a crap life with not knowing his dad and all.. I know thats always how i felt.
    I’m sure once he sees i’m getting big and i’m actually doing this there’s a chance he can change his mind..
    Or at least i hope thats what will happen anyway.. But all in all i am actually kinda of scared but thats normal.. Isn’t it??

    #24675
    Avatarmyangelsinheaven

    You’re baby will not look at you and resent his dad not coming around. Your baby will love you with the utmost admiration and respect for not aborting his life. I met a priest once…who told me that for whatever reason, his mother almost aborted him. Isn’t it a wonderful gift to the world that she didn’t, because now he is in our world counseling young people against abortion and discussing with them all the evil that causes one to believe that abortion is ok. You can also help to change the world’s view….your friends’ view of you being selfish for keeping this baby and that you should abort it’s beautiful soul. THAT SEEMS UNSELFISH TO THEM???

    KILLING IS NOT AN UNSELFISH ACT!! IT IS THE MOST EXTREME ACT OF SELFISHNESS. (I’m not shouting, just exaggerating my level of tone:angry: )

    I know how I felt when my mother abandoned me and my three syblings and our father one day while he was at work. I lived without my mother for a huge portion of my life because of her selfishness to want something better, something less stressful, something more exciting….someone that promised her a better life of happiness. I lost my baby brother that same year to a house fire. He was only 3 mo. old and my father went into the house to save him after getting us all out. My father suffered 3rd degree burns on his face, arms and shoulders trying to show UNSELFISH love. My mother never showed up for the funeral because she was out there being selfish trying to find true love. She never found it…..and I never knew my mother. I lived with a lot of difficulty while just a baby, (2yrs until my teens) until my father remarried. But I never, ever looked at my father, who was heartbroken and alone and felt I had a crap life. I was in awe at his love and determination to give me everything he could along with my older syblings.

    I am now a mother of a beautifully large family, that the restaurants cringe at when they see us walk in. I am the mother to my children that I never had while growing up. I never hated my life or felt sadness because of the one parent I had…..I loved him tremendously because he gave us extra love. Now, I look at my babies and think of her, but in sadness for her. I forgive my mother for not giving me her life….she missed out!! Motherhood is Awesome!

    #24682
    Avatarkermits_elmo15

    Yeah thanks..
    Whether peopel reassure me that everything will be ok but i still am able to lead myself scared sh*tless..
    Whilst i hate my dad for leaving me and not wanting me i think i’m starting to ease up a bit on that hate cause he was probably just as scared as the father to my baby..

    I dont hate the father for ditching.. Its kind of typical of a teenage or early 20’s guy.. I just find it totally selfish that he would do that. Our first pregnancy scare it turned out to be negative but no matter he said he would support me in anything i decided.. I just dont see how that doesn’t apply this time other then the fact he’s with another girl.. I mean with the thought of me carrying his child i think that is what is making it harder for me to get over him which stresses me out.

    I want the best for my baby..
    No matter what that takes.. I will be all that my baby will need.. I will be all he ever needs! Which makes me happy cause i get him all to myself hehe =]

    #24873
    Avatarkermits_elmo15

    I had a miscarriage =[[
    I went to an ultra sound and they couldnt find the heart beat of my unborn child.
    It had died only few days ago; they dont know why.
    I’m lost on what to do..
    Luckily they could tell the sex cause i was so far along. I was going to have a baby girl if nature hadn’t taken over.
    Help me anyone.

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