Choices

This topic contains 5 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by dorismay tracy joynes .

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  • #20231
    0hhbabybaby
    Amy Rabago

    I`m torn. I found out I was 13 weeks pregnant on tuesday. I think Its crazy because the last time I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend we immediatley went to a clinic and got the day after pill. Well I guess it didn`t work and he seems to think it has to be destiny. I want to have this baby, I`m just scared for myself. I have SO many doubts. What if I suck at being a Mom, what if I regret{readmore}it? from evreyone Ive talked to who has had a baby as young as me (17 turning 18 in May)&younger and Ive never heard of anyone straight up regreting it. What if I never finish school. Would life as I know it be gone entirely& my whole life be just be about the baby. Would I still be able to go out and have fun sometimes? I mean I`m not a partier to the extreme, I just like to have fun once in awhile. Basically I just think I need answers to my questions. I got a TON. I need support, I have not yet told my parents. They’re not SUPER strict my Mom knows Ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. And we were planning a life together. She knows were sexually active, actually her and my Dad have told me that they’ll love me no matter what. I just don`t want to disapoint them, Ive always wanted to be the one kid they’ve had that they were super proud of. You know?& Its just I don’t have a career, How will I make money. Thankfully I have my GED. but besides that not alot of stuff is going on for me. I thought I could do an abortion, and I still could. BUT when I went to the clinic, they took an ultrasound, The doctor gave me a copy and I asked, "does it have a heart?" & she replied "yes" I felt my own heart drop, How am I suposed to go through with this now? How can I get rid of something living off of me, Something that is me. I’m catholic and so Is my Parents. I mean my family isn`t at church evrey sunday. I just really want some support, and some inspiration. I just want to know that evreything is going to be okay. That I can still live out a good life. I just want to know if teen parents can be happy. What helps ALOT though is my Boyfriend, Hes always been there for me. And he always will, even if were not together. Hes super responsible. and Ive been with him for awhile. We spend evrey single day with eachother. He is even willing to work two jobs to support me if I have the baby. I`m already feeling kinda iffy towards getting an abortion. I don`t even really want to think about it. I have to decide what I`m going to do before Saturday, I have an appointment at the Clinic and If I show up, I’ll be getting an Abortion. Thats the latest I can get one around here. I`m torn between two things. My future and a Baby. But Can`t I have both?

    #20234
    alexanders_mama
    Katerina Mik

    Can you have a life and a baby? ABSOLUTELY! How do you think all the other mothers of this world live? They don’t die or mutate because they have children — they just have MORE to their lives, it’s a good thing.
    What if you suck at being a mum? Well, that goes for anything, at any time of your life, even if you were 35. What if you get hit by a car? What if you’ll be a bad wife? What if you’re a bad friend? Sometimes you just gotta risk it, and try your best at something.
    What if you regret it? First give birth to the bub, and then tell me how you feel about this question lol.
    What if you never finish school? Well, that’s only if you don’t try and you don’t go to classes…
    What if your life changes completely? It’s life, life changes all the time, whether you have a baby or not — with a baby, 99/100 times if not way more the change is radically positive.
    Would you still be able to go out and have fun sometimes? What do you think babysitters are for? Parents? Friends? Relatives? Do you think the other mothers sit inside their four walls and not go out? Well some don’t, but most do, otherwise they’d go insane just like any other person.
    Is everything going to be okay? Only if you believe it will be, only if you trust and rely on God.
    Can teen parents be happy? Why can’t they be? I for one am happy, and I had my son when I first hit 17. My life hasn’t ended — I still sometimes go out, I’ve got a year of uni left, and I’m as happy as can be (well I would be if I hadn’t watched I Am Legend today haha freaky mutants lol jk).
    It’s going to be alright, you just have to believe in Him. He isn’t an idiot, and miracles of life don’t happen to everyone. He let it happen to you; therefore, there must a reason. I think your boyfriend’s truly onto something….

    #20238
    Kit
    kate Sydik

    I can understand and relate to your fears. If you want to have this baby (and it sounds like you do, you’re just afraid), then listen to your heart and please don’t go through with the appointment. It sounds like your parents and boyfriend will be supportive, which will help. You can do it.

    There are many examples of teen mothers who have raised children and been happy and successful. It may mean changes in your life but the baby will not mean the end of your life as you know it, but new beginnings. If you don’t feel ready for a baby have you considered adoption rather than abortion? You could probably even arrange an open adoption if you wanted to be involved with the baby as it grows up.

    #20239
    SweetTea
    Rachel Davis

    Hey!

    I really encourage you to read around on the forums here. There have been lots of people in this same situation.

    I was in this situation too. I was 16 when I found out I was pregnant. It was the shock of my life. You sound like you really don’t want to have an abortion, and I can understand why. Your baby already has a heartbeat. Your baby is already counting on you for his or her life. That is a big deal!

    I know it’s hard, and scary. Believe me, I know. But you can do this. You really can.

    Hang in there. Email me, I’m more than happy to talk.

    Rachel@StandUpGirl.com

    Love,
    Rachel

    #20244
    kez_mummy_2_skye
    Kerry Atkinson

    i agree, reading up on these forums, there is girls her that have gone through the same situation as you but even worse and they did it just fine. There is your answer in your post, the baby does have a heartbeat and is living off you, YOUR child. You are a mummy now. Your parents will obviously help you. Being Catholic they wouldnt let you abort anyway. Please keep us posted what happens with you but i hope you keep the baby or there is also adoption.

    #20260
    dorismay
    tracy joynes

    Hey there, you are in that group who really do not need abortion. Having your baby will help you develop who you really are and besides you already are bonded with your baby. And you parents will be so proud of you when they come to see baby when she/he is born. Just hang in there and in a little while you will feel a whole lot more positive about your situation. All the best.

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