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March 23, 2009 at 6:16 pm #24568GangY
i just..im losing it.
yes i do have good days…well not good, bbut days when im ok.
but there are days when i think im goping to lose it… there are days when im ok, and in the very next moment i feel like i need to kick someobody,scream,cry..die?
why, o why were my daughters taken from me?
me & God.. were good firends once…but then we kind of lost it.. then i slowly found the way ro him again…
and then my daughters got token away from me? why?
am i not a good enough person to be a mother? is that the price i have to pay for the abortion i had back in 06?
or why? they say everything happens for a reason, can you explain the reason two innocent babies had to day?
dont say he needed an angel..he could took me, he SHOULD took me instead of them…
im really losing it,losing the sense of being 🙁
i miss my daughters so bad..March 23, 2009 at 11:41 pm #24575Evangeline
Hi there hunny,
I’m so so sorry to read this post and now feel even worse because of my guest book post to you this aternoon, I really didn’t mean to be insensitive.
I am very sorry for your loss and I understand the way yr moods have been changing. Recently, I’ve been the same way, but the girls here have been a great help, so please, speak to Meg or Enya about the way yr feeling.
Also, have you thought of going for therapy?
Please don’t forget that you’re loved here and that you’ll always have our support and understanding.
Much love, Evangeline xoxoxMarch 24, 2009 at 12:24 am #24576nadza
hi sweety, im sooo sorry for your loss and for your pain, but i c u lettin it out, thats good, wether u feelin happy or sad u gotta let it out,n everything u feelin rite now is totally ok! dont plz dont thimk of this as punishment for ur abortion, dont think of this as Gods way of punishing you, it was just destiny, i know thats not the most comforting words to hear but they are trutful, yes everything happens for a reason, sometimes we dont understand it but He does, or maybe u cant see the reason yet coz u soo torn up inside, but maybe in time He will bring you inner peace and some type of understanding, time will never heal the pain u feel, but it can make it better depending on how u use it, and yes you entirled to feel angry n upset and enragged, but u cant feel that way forever, u will at some stage begin to take baby steps to gettin ur life back on track n ur lil angels will be so proud of you wen u do, u jus take things 1 feeling, 1 day at a time and your lil angels will be guiding you every step of the way…. once again im soo sorry, i can only imagine wat u feeling n thats probably not even the tip of it, all my love n luck is with you and remember in whatever you do… 3 angels are lookin down upon you, and they will be waitin arms wide open to meet you!
take care hun
xoxoMarch 24, 2009 at 9:03 am #24586emeraldforestmyheartbro
I am so, so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you. Nothing will ever take away the pain you feel now, but please, do not direct that pain onto yourself (as in harming yourself.) Your little girls would have wanted you to deal with their loss in a healthy way.
Please, I beg you, talk to someone you trust. A friend, a spouse, a counsellor or a pastor. Over time you will be able to find the stregnth and acceptance to Stand Up and go on with your life, placing your two little babies safely in your heart, where their memories will be cherished.
Please take care, I am so sorry for your loss.
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