This topic contains 20 replies, has 12 voices, and was last updated by Brenda Simons .
- May 28, 2006 at 7:34 am #11145
[color=#800080]hey guys, im about 6 weeks preg. right now and just recently told my mom. she said theres no way im keeping the baby and an abortion is the "pentence i must pay" for getting pregnant. im only 17 ill be eighteen in 5 mos. im so scared but i love my baby and dont want an abortion. my mom still hasnt told my dad bcuz she still thinks she can change my mind, but i love my baby. my BF of three yrs is in the military and stationed in GA, im in TX. we could get married when i finish HS in december, and i could live out there with him until he goes to Iraq for a year in Aug. 07. what do i do?? im so scared my bf is supportive of whatever choice i make. i love him so much and know we could get thru this. i look at little babies and it tears me up to think that mine might not even get a chance to feel the sunshine on its little face.. my mom called him last night to tell him we weren’t ready and to get him to try and convince me of ABORTION. which i CANT do. my mom says its child abuse if u have a baby before your ready. im not expecting everything to be easy i know it will be tough. but for one smile on the face of my beautiful baby ill do it. my mom says ill ruin my life and be poor forever and i dont think thats true if we work at it together… can anyone give me some advice or words of encouragement please?? i feel so lost and 50/50 about what to do, but i think if i abort my baby i will never forgive myself. my bf broke down into tears today and begged me to keep the baby. his parents support us and i think my mom would come around..
IM SO LOST PLEASE HELP ME!!! :([/color]May 29, 2006 at 5:54 am #11148
Don’t do something that you know deep down you would regret later.i am 19 just finishing high school and 2 months pregnant.i was already enrolled in university for next year and i still plan on going. just remember that no matter what anyone else says you are your on person and it is your choice,
My parents dont support any of my choices(moved out a year ago, etc) but i know that my BF’s parents will be there.
And then there is the goverment that will give you grants and scholarships to get a proper education for youself.
There will alwasy be hard times, they only show how strong you are though.
So stick in there and everything will work itself out.
Never Do something you dont believe in.May 29, 2006 at 7:41 am #11149
Dont get an abortion just because someone ELSE wants you to. You seem like you really want this baby and yeah it will be hard (nothing in life is easy) but all the effort will be worth it. Your mom is probably scared for you. But it will just take some time before she calms down im sure. But keep your baby, its a blessing.
Yeah and Im saying all this and I still have to tell my mom…. But All you can do is hope for the best!May 29, 2006 at 2:09 pm #11153
hi. i, like u got pregnant when i was 17. i also thought that my life was over but if it helps you to know, i am still alive with the child i once thought of aborting. my mother stood behind me the whole time, i sometimes thought she was more excited about the baby than i was. i had my 18 birthday when i was 5 months pregnant, 2 months later graduated high school, and 2 months after that gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl. by the time i had my baby i was considerd an adult and i took on that role instantly. i had big college plans before my child was born and now that she’s here my desire to fulfill those dreams are sstonger than before. because i had my baby in july the middle of the year i had time to get use to being a new mom, but i also had time to prepare before going to college. i went to college, up until hurricane katrina came and took away everything i had, and was living my life to the fulliest while still being a young single parent.
i hope you find comfort and reassurance in the decision you make. just remember that your life does not have to be over just because your having a baby, to be quite honest it will be jst beginning.May 29, 2006 at 4:09 pm #11154
[b]Let me tell you something, first of all, it’s you that is going to have the baby NOT your mom, don’t do what she wants you to do, it’s your life, and therefore she should respect whatever your choice is. Your not the first or the last to have a baby young. It seems to me like your the grown up here. No offense, but what kind of mother tells her daughter to have an abortion??? her grandchild?? DON"T LISTEN TO WHAT PEOPLE TELL YOU, LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR HEART AND ITUITION TELLS YOU. What about your bf family? do you think they can help you out?? and it’s not child abuse if you decided to have the baby, what is that suppose to mean??? isn’t it child abuse and even worser when girls have abortion?? what i tell you is don’t do it, i was 17 when i had my son, and if i would’ve had an abortion, i would’ve missed out on alot of things. Trust me, your not going to regret it, don’t let your mom influence you into something you don’t really want to do, it’s not about making her happy, it’s about making you happy, and letting your baby have a chance to live. Don’t let your mom, or even your boyfriend tell you what you should do or shouldn’t do, do what YOU want to do.May 29, 2006 at 11:33 pm #11155
hey girl. I just found out I’m pregnant too. I’m your age too! I will be 18 in about 5 months. I havn’t told my parents yet! I havn’t even gone to the doctor yet. I’m going tomarrow! I think you can make it work. My bf is stressing and worring. But he’s also happy that he’s going to be a daddy soon! So since we’re in the same situation you can e-mail me any time you want! We can help each other.May 30, 2006 at 1:58 am #11156
I have known several girls who were teenage moms whose lives have not been ruined and are successful and happy. Abortion is definitely not the only option. Don’t let anyone force or pressure you into an abortion against your will. This is not your mother’s choice to make. It sounds like you have already bonded with your baby and have decided that you want to give it life. I hope that you stick your ground. I’m glad to hear that your boyfriend is supportive of keeping the baby too and not wanting you to have an abortion.
Being a teenage mother is not easy. Having a child does require a lot of time and money. It might be especially difficult if your boyfriend is stationed or deployed far away. I would be cautious of jumping to marriage before you two are ready because of the pregnancy. Marriage is great (I’ve been married for nearly 7 years), but it is a BIG committment and is not always easy. I would make sure that if you do get married your relationship is strong and you are not doing it because of pressure.
Perhaps you could consider giving the child up for adoption. Some agencies even allow open adoption in which you could have contact with your child. Giving up a child for adoption is a loving alternative to abortion, and would allow you to move on with your life. Have you discussed adoption with your mother or boyfriend? Perhaps your mom would consider adoption as a compromise between having an abortion and keeping and raising a baby as a teen????
Remember that this is your choice to make, and that this pregnancy is not the end of the world. Your life is not ending, a new life for your child is beginning! Best wishes.
KateMay 30, 2006 at 9:00 am #11158
ok I kno exactly how u feel. When I became pregnant my mom wanted an abortion and I was totaly against it there was no way I was going to kill my innocent baby boy. My mom andd I fought about it a lot. She still isnt ok with my choice. Im 35 weeks pregnant. Im happy I went with my gut. Thats wat u need to do. If u feel what your doing is right then go with it. :cheer: In the end evrything will be ok. Im still scared bout wherther or not I made the right decision but I kno in the end I did. Ull alwayas wonder but when you look at that baby it will be worth it. I hope I was a little bit of help.. Good Luck and go with your gut.
-Danielle :kiss:May 30, 2006 at 9:15 am #11159
Hello. It saddens me to hear your story. I do not understand why parents do not stand behind their daughters in a situation like this. I understand it is not the perfect situation, but if you wait for that it may never be perfect. I say that if you feel in your heart that you and your boyfriend want this baby, then stand up for what is right. I understand that you are young and that is what upsets your mother. You have your whole life ahead of you. I don’t think that a baby will ruin your life. It will complicate things some, but not ruin it.
My stepdaughter just went through all of this. She is 26 so that is a little different. She is raising her daughter by herself as the father will take no responsibility. Her mother did not want her to have the child and told her that she needed to just get an abortion so things would be easier. She had an abortion when she was 18 and has regretted it and felt that some how she let God down by doing this. She knew in her heart this time she was going to give life to this little baby. Keep in mind that her mother did not want her to have this child and refused to talk to her at one point.
The mother has now quit her job to stay home and help raise her granddaughter. People can change their attitudes on this.
I am so glad she made the decision to give life. We have the most precious little granddaughter ever.
Hope this helps.
HappyGrandmaMay 30, 2006 at 10:42 am #11160
Hello,well…im totally against abortions.So abortions i will not advise you to get one.I think you should keep the baby and pray that it will be easy!
Because its a child not a choice.May 30, 2006 at 12:59 pm #11161
ashmo, you seem to be in a tough situation. although i belive your mother will come around as well. you are already emotionally attached to the child. if you weren’t then you wouldn’t be having such serious doubts. i’m not going to tell you that it will be easy, but you can do it. it takes a lot of time, attention, and love. just follow your heart and i’m sure you will do the right thing. god wouldn’t of given you this blessing if he didn’t think you could handle it. please think long and hard before you do something you will regret. there’s no guarentee that you will be able to get preg. again.May 30, 2006 at 11:48 pm #11163
hi ashmo, my name is lacy i am 19 years old and 15 weeks pregnant!
my parents always had high expectations for me.
i always planned to have a career get married and then have children and when i found out i was pregnant i was really confused i wanted the baby like you, even though i always said if i ever got pregnant when i was young i would have an abortion! but that was without considering my partners feelings or considering that my own veiws and feelings might change when i actually got pregnant.
which is exactly what happend my bf marvin who ive been with for 5 years always wanted children young and when i told him i was pregnant i could tell immediatly he wanted to keep it even though he said he would support my desision no matter what.
when i did the pregnancy test i couldnt beleive it! i just never thought that it could happen to me! but i immediatly started to think did i want this baby even though i knew my plan had always been to have a termination.
Im really close to my mum and i really wanted to just tell her and get advice but she my dad and my little sister were on holiday in america and i thought it wasnt exactly the type of thing you can say on the phone "mum im pregnant"
so i had three weeks to think about it before my parents got back, in the mean time i went to the doctors and told them that i was pregnant and that i wanted an abortion and asked for some advice.
when my mum got back my bf told her and she was really quiet, but the next day said that we needed to talk and she asked me what i wanted to do about it and i immediatly said that i didnt want an abortion, it just came out, i had actually come to a desision there and then and it was a great weight off my shoulders i am so glad that i spoke out and said what i was feeling and not what i thought my mum wanted to hear, which turned out that i was wrong anyway because she later said that she would of supported me but she wouldnt of been very happy with me having an abortion.
when my mum told my dad she made sure that she said to him not to give me a hard time and not to make my first pregnancy a bad memory, and even though i know that he wishes that i would have an abortion he has only stated that it is an option.
i really dont know how you can resolve the situation with your mum but dont do anything that you dont want to, and yes in time she probably will come round because after all she is your mother and she loves you.
maybe you and your bf need to sit down with both your parents and tell them that you are in love, it is what you both want, your willing to work at things to give your baby the future and upbringing that you think it deserves this will show a great deal of maturity and maybe make your mum see that you are ready.
get things sorted out quick though so you and your bf can enjoy your pregnancy and time together before the baby is born, oh and dont rush into marrage just because your pregnant you want that day to be special and go into marrage for the right reasons, because your in love and you want to commit to one another before god and not so you can go live with your bf or because you think is the "right thing to do"!
goodluck and i hope everything goes well for you what ever you decide xxxMay 31, 2006 at 1:01 pm #11168
You will get lots of advice. pick and choice the ones you take serious. I have been where you are not once but twice. I can give you the ups and downs on keeping a baby and aborting one too. The keeping saved my life. I was traveling a downward road to no where and she tought me how much I can mean to some one. She needed me. I sometimes wonder if she would have had a better life if I were to give her to a well off family but God tells me each time that she was to be with me. When I had my abortion. God tells me That baby would have been better off else where or with me. It ruined my life. I became a totally diffrent person. It has been over six years and I am just now able to talk about what it did to me. Your best bet is to get counsel and find a new way. Life full of guilt a regret that you didnt give your baby a chance is no better then what I think Hell would be like. I will keep you in my prayers. Just remember you cant raise a baby on Love alone. But Love over comes alot of what Money cant. God Bless.June 7, 2006 at 5:05 pm #11241
I would put my foot down, and nicely talk to your parents that you are about to be 18, and that you are old enough to do it youself. But dont lie! If you dont think you and your bf could handle it, then the descion is totaly up to you. But just remember, its not all about you now, but the baby! Well good luck hun!December 9, 2006 at 6:18 am #13802
Look I read your story and it is a hard one. I don’t have my moms help and am doing it alone. But I told my dad and i thought he would freak but trueth is he is helping instead of my mother so thats something I think you should consider. I know all the benafits of a military marriage (I almost married my one and only love of 6 yrs) but Iraq changes peaple. A friend of mine who has been over there before was so changed by some of the things he saw that he is divorced and can’t even hardly stand to look at his own son. It kills him every day but more it hurts his family. So don’t rush into marriage expecially if he is to be diploied soon. And remember It will be hard for him to be away from you and the child but it will be harder for you to be the only one waking up when the baby cries, it will be you changing dipers, and it will be you holding your baby when its sick and fussy. Trust me I am not trying to push you into an abortion, it wasn’t the choice for me either. But just keep all that in mind it isn’t just hard. It’ll be lonely, scary, exhausting, and so very draining. And just as in my situation I think the smiles might be worth it.
CatyDecember 12, 2006 at 2:49 am #13846
DONT GET AN ABORTION!!!!! you love your baby that is all that matters!!!!!!December 12, 2006 at 11:23 am #13859
haha guess u didnt notice the date of this post. its dated MAY and its DECEMBER. dont u think i wuldve made up my mind by now?? that was 7 months ago! but im 33 weeks pregnant with a little girl and married my babys daddy and i couldnt be happier..December 12, 2006 at 2:04 pm #13865
Email me if you want. I’m in a Georgia military town myself, maybe even the same one as your sweety.December 13, 2006 at 2:10 am #13869
You’ll be 18 even before the baby is born. If you think you’re strong enought o do it, by all means sweetheart, DO IT!
NO one can push you into something you don’t want to do, especially when it comes to YOU deciding if YOUR child lives or dies.
My thoughts are with you, please do not hesitate to send me an email. I’m usually on or near the computer all day. I’m not a religious person, or I’d pray for you.
Be strong. Only YOU can make this choice. <3December 14, 2006 at 12:40 am #13896
Keep the baby … by the time your 6 months pregnant you’ll be 18 …. then your mother can’t tell you that you have to abourt it….. think about what your mother is telling then think about what is right!!!!.. and i can tell just by the way your wirting it sounds like to me you know what the right thing to do is… now all you have to do is just make that choice… take careDecember 14, 2006 at 8:05 am #13911
just to let you know it’s ILLEGAL for your mom to even say anything close her forcing you to get an abortion….no one can make the choice for you, and it’s illegal for ANYNODY including parents to force their daughter to get an abortion…so if you want this baby you can keep it…and you will be 18 by the time you will have it, and even if you weren’t she couldn’t force you to give it up for abobtion either, because once you have a baby you are an adult (even a thirteen years old)….so good luck with your situation…
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