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May 16, 2007 at 12:04 am #17325kayleandtaylor
i just wanted to let you know that there are amazing teenage parents out there and i just want to share my story.
on my 16th birthday my boyfriend (daz) of a year proposed, he said he wanted to be with me forever and we decided that we would save up to get our own place. we had been sleeping together for a while and i had been on the pill for 3 years as i had bad periods and the pill stopped them. everyday without fail i took them. 6 months after he had proposed i went to the doctors as i had all the symptoms of my peiods coming. she said to go to the family planning clinic and have a pregnancy test done if it was negative which i knew it would be then try a different method of contraception such as the implant. i went later on the same day and sure enough it was negative just as i had known! i decided to try the implant, 3 weeks later and i was off on holiday for xmas with the family and daz. as soon as we got to bulgaria i was sick, everyday i would be sick about 6 times, we all put it down to me being allergic to the implant but as you may or may not know bulgaria is a fairly backwards country and i did not want anyone trying to take the implant out. when we got back two and a half weeks later my mum asked me to do a pregnancy test just to rule it out. i did although again i thought it would be negative, however it was positive and all i wanted to do was cry.
i was in college and doing well set to go to university i could not become one of the stereotypical teenage parents. when i told my mom she just cried with me. over the next week i found that i was 14 weeks pregnant and me and daz decided we were going to keep the baby. however the next few weeks he didnt call me once where as before he would call everyday just to check i was ok. the first midwife visit came along and daz was there with me but i knew he didnt want to be. we had a ‘talk’ afterwards and split up, i thought he would come round but he didnt want to know.
i had the triple screening test for spina bifida and downs syndroma and with the results were shocking news i had a one in 44 chance of the baby having downs syndrome. i cried for days but decided to go for the amniocentesis days later i found out my perfect little baby did have downs syndrome. all i could think is why me when so many people out there dont deserve ‘normal’ children but i quickly changed my thoughts on that i deserve a baby with DS as i know i can look after it and give it a good life whereas many would not be able to.
a termination did cross my mind when i first found out but there is no way i could realy go through with it.
after telling daz i knew he did not want a child with disabilities as he moved in with his dad which is 100 miles away.
im now 7 months pregnant and have just found that he has a small hole in his heart but he will probaly not need surgery which is a major relief.
i know that at 16 im very young to take on such a huge responsibility and many people have tried to push me in the direction of abortion or adoption as im now to far gone for an abortion but i wont do it. i have found out that im carrying a little boy and now he is my life and i would nevr be with out him.
i have heard from daz once since he moved to his dads and i realy dont care anymore that he wont be there for my son. my family have been hugely supportive and i know i can count on them for all the support i need emotionaly and im financially ok. my son will not go with out the support that he needs just because some people believe im to young to give it to him.
i just hope that others will see my point of view
kayleighMay 16, 2007 at 10:11 am #17348Meg11
Hi there I think that you are going to do just fine….my sister in law had a baby a while back and she has downs…she was also born with a hole in her heart and alot of other complications…she is the most precious little thing and she brings so much joy and love to those around her….there were so many times when she could have just given up but she has survived all of the surgeries and beat all of the odd up to this point so my encouragement to you is to just pray for your little one because God works miracles….and you are right you do deserve a child with special needs because if you have the heart of a mother for this little one who will need so much more than most kids then you are the perfect one to raise this little guy….I think God gives baby’s with special needs to those who have the most love to give…may He bless you and give you the strength you need for delivery and perserverance for the struggle that will come afterwards…..Love and Prayers…MegMay 26, 2007 at 5:36 am #17507bLuE_EyEd_BeAuTy2009
wow…that is amazing…im sorry that he is a low life.. and doesnt want to share in the responsibilty that he helped create….you can do it girl…he’ll regret not being there one day and when he comes around…blow him off like he did you…whats the point in letting him in YOUR sons life if theres the chance that hes just going to leave again…i hope that everything workds out ok with you and the rest ofyour pregnancy…kepp me updated ok…
—Love SamanthaMay 26, 2007 at 1:50 pm #17520goodluckyall
In reading your post, it’s obvious you will do a wonderful job of mothering your little guy. Your love for him is already evident and he’s not even here yet. Not only does God give special babies to those with big hearts, but I believe he knows who has enough strength to advocate for their needs and stamina to keep going through the tougher times. It sounds like you’re close to your folks and they’ll be helpful to you. I pray your boy is healthy otherwise, and I’m sure he’ll be happy with you for a mom.May 27, 2007 at 11:38 pm #17526telephonebox
Wow, you really are brave. Good on you for keeping it,I don’t know many girls that would act like you have.Having a disabled baby isn’t all bad-my mum has worked with down’s kids for years,and she loves them-she says they are unusually sweet and afectionate and can sometimes be really talented in certain areas.
Also,my cousin had her daughterChloe when she was 16.Chloe has a serious illness,I can’t remember the name,but basically she’s blind,can’t walk,takes fits and has very limited speech.She’s 9 now.My cousin has 3 other children now,the youngst was born a week ago.She’s a truly amazing mother.You’ll do just fine =]May 28, 2007 at 12:16 am #17528kez_mummy_2_skye
i think you made an extremely brave decision.. no one should tell you what to do with your baby, if Daz doesnt want to live with the responsibility that he has a son then its his problem and i bet he will regret it when he gets older and his son doesnt know who he is. Most people out there hearing that they are pregnant with a DS child would give it up straight away but i think your strong and you can do it.Glad to hear also that you have family support and they didnt shoot you down for becomming pregnant so young. Good luck and keep us posted
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