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May 4, 2007 at 4:11 am #17180Jess0930
So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years, and we learned last week that we were pregnant. He was soooo happy. We made plans to buy a house and go baby shopping and he would not leave my side….until the weekend. Our relationship has been rocky for the past year and we have broken up a couple of times, but always got back together. Last night he started calling me names and saying how he doesn’t want to be with me and that he definately doesn’t want me to have his baby. I’m 24 and he’s 30 and he’s acting so immature and angry all of the sudden. I told him I couldn’t talk to him anymore because I can’t be upset while carrying our baby. I don’t know what to do. If i have to I will raise the baby on my own…i’ve graduated college and have a good job, but I come from a broken family and I don’t want my child to feel the same way I did when I was young. I want to be happy because I’m having a baby, but what my boyfriend has said to me hurts so bad and I feel depressed. Everyone thinks he’s the greatest and that we’re gonna live happily ever after, but they don’t know the truth, and I don’t want to have to tell them. I don’t know what to do….May 5, 2007 at 3:12 am #17190ericklirios
It’s unfortunate that this is happening to you but you are actually in a much better situation than some people here and they have survived and some have even thrived. You at least have a good job and have finished school.
What you really have to do now is plan for the worst and hope for the best. If your boyfriend decides that he’s not coming back, then let it be. You can’t force him to come back. If he doesn’t want his baby, then it really is his loss. I think he’s just so scared that he can’t be the irresponsible singly guy anymore. Sometimes, even having a good relationship hides the fact that you really aren’t all that tied down yet. A coming baby suddenly jolts one into the reality that one’s life is not just the self anymore. It’s scary to finally be faced with the reality of being responsible for a baby’s life and, if a guy chooses to live with and marry the baby’s mother, a wife’s life as well. Pray a lot. If his love for you is great and he’s just scared, he may come around. Mind you, coming around may take years.
A child, of course, deserves to have both parents around. This baby didn’t decide to be conceived but the two responsible for the conception surely decided to take part in sex. It’s unfair that you have to be left with the responsibility and a guy can just run off. Unfair, but that is how it is.
Please don’t worry about what people think or will say especially with regard to how they see him as a perfect guy. WHen they find out that you’re pregnant with his child and he doesn’t want anything to do with his own child, the winds will turn. Take note, their opinion is not what you’re supposed to be concerned about.
I’ve been saying this frequently here: stand your ground. Stay away from abortion and give that baby the best life that you can possibly give even if you have to give it just by yourself. You have the means so make use of the means available to you. There really isn’t much to be scared of as long as you approach this sitaution calmly and maturely.
Take the issue to your family. At this point, they really can help you and you really do need that help. Eventually, your family will be your baby’s family and they should be told and prepared to welcome their newest member. At times like these, it is the power of family that you really need especially if this is the only family that will be giving you and your baby support.
Take care of yourself.
ErickMay 9, 2007 at 5:43 am #17221persianprincess
Give him sometime. I know they can be stressful at times, and trust me, Ive had my share of running out of the house in the middle of the night, but he will have your back. AFter 5 years, its hard not to. Good luck hun, and dont worry, itll be okMay 16, 2007 at 10:08 am #17347bweber
just have ur baby and give him/her the best and most love that u can, u don’t need the dad in the picture everyday..he can have visitation or whatever…but don’t let him ruin ur excitment!
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