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March 10, 2009 at 7:21 am #24392breathless
Ok, so my precious little angel is 16 months and is in the full blown, terrible, awful, no good brattiness of a newly minted toddler. He does it all, kicking, screaming, throwing, hitting. I was just wondering what some of you guys do to get your little one in line. Well, within reason. I know that this is the “challenging” phase, I wanted to know what worked for you? Consequences? Time outs? Early naps? Anything really. We’re getting along at a somewhat decent pace but he’s still got a long way to go. I just make sure that he doesn’t get away with it (EVER) and if he has a tantrum I just walk away and leave him where he is. If he keep throwing toys, I take them away. Food, I’ll take it from him and give it to him myself. What do you guys do?March 11, 2009 at 1:16 am #24399Meg11
With my son I used my middle finger to flick his hand, it was harmless but it stung just enough to get the issue across…also naps are very important, if you are on a set in stone schedule you may think about changing it and rather than one long nap break it up into a morning and afternoon nap, they may not last as long but he may be easier and happier….just keep on him and even if you don’t see immediate results just be consistent, he will test you to see how long you will be consistent and if he sees you hold your guns despite his reaction then he will eventually fall in line…they say that these types of tantrums are usually brought on by the fact that toddlers are learning so much in a day that it is overwhelming their mind and they just wig out, I will be praying for you…Love MegMarch 11, 2009 at 1:45 am #24401myangelsinheaven
I’ve been there and know all too well what you’re going through. My almost 2 yr olds sometimes would pull away from me while I held their hand while leaving a store and would routinely pull their wrist or elbow out of socket. (nurse maids elbow) Simple remedy by the doctor manipulating it back into place. But just watch out for that ‘going limp’ thing when their having the tantrum if you’re holding their hand or arm. You may end up in ER.
If your 16 mo. old understands that time-out means to sit quiet for a few min’s, then it doesn’t hurt. Pediatrician’s recommend a minute for each year of age. You can put him where you can monitor him, and follow up placing him there with a firm, ‘no!” He will eventually get the concept. If mine would scream and carry on in timeout and they had enough words to understand me, I would tell them, “if you can settle down and behave then you may get down.” It’s hard if they are still immature with vocabulary…..but they all seem to understand the seperation from what they were doing; fighting, screaming, hitting etc……with the drastic atmosphere change of “silent time out.” They begin to associate the isolation with what they just did.
My two little ones who were back to back babies both went through terrible phases together……where they would let out an ear piercing scream in unison with one another. I would simply take them into a quiet room and sit with them if I felt what they were after was my attention. If one of them wouldn’t stop screaming, then I would cross their arms in front of their chest and cuddle them very closely and firmly to my chest and rock them on my lap. (because they wanted to hit when they were in their tantrum) I would tell them “shhh…if you settle down I’ll let you go play.” That always worked.
I also try to think about their day and associate their behavior with what has happened or not happened that would put them in such a fit. Have they eaten recently, diaper need to be changed, are they missing a nap and did they miss sleep the night before? Or major issues could set them off, like crisis in the family or lots of visitors in the house will always turn my little ones around. One time, my little boy would not stop crying in his car seat all the way to the hospital for a checkup…..he loved his seat. After taking him out of the seat and checking him all over I was convinced he was just in a bad mood until I looked down and saw he had his little pinky toe bent over inside of his sandal. :unsure: Poor baby……so check all the fingers and toes and other body parts for injuries.
It can be frustrating, but as Megan said, be consistent each time they behave this way…what ever form of correction you use. But try not to correct while frustrated or stressed. Put him in time out first so that you can have a time out as well. Before going into get him, think about what you’d like to say to him to help the situation and leave him with a understanding of love from you, but that you won’t allow him to behave that way. It does parents just as much good to have one.
I’ve even been known to put myself in a time out.:(
I’m convinced that about every 6 mo’s little ones go through a major behavior change. It’s like clock work!!
myangelsinheavenMarch 11, 2009 at 10:20 am #24408nadza
hey my almost 14month old started throwing tantrums at 12months of age! wen they started they were frequent but now have subsided to once in a while, i ignored her wen she threw a tantrum for something small or dangerous things like me takng a scissor away from her, she was welcum 2 scream as loud as she wanted coz they need to express their feelings, soon she saw that it was gettin her nowhere so she has jus cum to terms wit it, and when she does nawty things and throws thing around, i giv her a time out, accordin to parenting magazines they say u should giv 1 min per year of life, so if u hav a 5yr old for eg then a 5min time out is sufficent, the trick with this is that even if they say sorry u still giv them the time out they need to learn that they cant get away with it, then wen time out is iver its time to forgiv n forget, giv hugs n kisses n carry on wit life, i hav a much happier emotionally balanced girlMarch 15, 2009 at 3:45 am #24455kez_mummy_2_skye
My hubby does that one Meg. It it like a wake up flick..hey stop what you’re doing etc.
I haven’t dealt with much naughtyness but i tend to say stop then if that doesnt work i yell and then smack. Yes i do smack. It never hurt me as a kid. There is a difference between bashing and smacking.March 19, 2009 at 12:56 am #24504Anonymous
yeah, the flick thing seems to work well… as does time out.
A website that you might be interested in is nogreaterjoy. If you just google NGJ it should be the top result. That website has a lot of help for parents. 🙂March 19, 2009 at 2:23 am #24506breathless
yay! Thanks guys. Yeah he’s been very aggressive lately, pushing kids, throwing things, tantrums yadda yadda. But he has BIG consequences every time now so he’s eased up quite a bit. Thanks for all the advice, we’re working on it!
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