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December 1, 2006 at 4:03 pm #13567melanie1989
So the dad doesnt want to really be there. he is scared. we are not together, nor do we talk. I dont want him to have custody at all, he would be a terrible parent. His girl friend is talking to me telling me she is going to be the step mom and this is going to be a part of her. But its not. Im the mom. I just dont know what to do. I am so stressed but shouldnt be. Help. I want him uot of my life….
🙁 _Melanie:(December 2, 2006 at 7:10 am #13585Kaileyamanda
wait- have you had your baby yet? your thingy doesnt say… but if you havent you dont have to put a name down for the father. then, the only way for him to prove it is his baby is through court because you wouldnt grant a DNA test would you? he prolly wouldnt want to pay all the legal fees for that anyway.
If you have had the baby then have you let him have a paternity test? will he make you go to court for custody are just wants it right now? fight the system- show them how he will be a bad parent if you can, if hes on drugs they will make him get tested. good luck babe! i asked a lot of questions so i hope that you answer me back about them!
38 weeks 2 daysDecember 2, 2006 at 7:29 am #13588melanie1989
He also just told me that if he is paying child support he will see this kid when ever he wants and that when it is with him and his girl friend that i will have nothing to do with it as themother….please help. im so hurt and lost. i dont want this bayb to learn its fathers traits.December 2, 2006 at 12:04 pm #13603Anonymous
Do a google search for "putative father registry (your state.)" A lot of states have them. What it comes down to is that if the father isn’t married to the mother, and wants legal custody of the baby, he has to register with the state before the baby is born. He also has to display an interest in the baby’s well-being during the pregnancy, so if he hasn’t been there for you, taking you to doctor’s appts, whatever, he probably doesn’t have a chance. Best of luck!December 2, 2006 at 5:10 pm #13607melanie1989
i havent had the baby.i am 4 months. i am thinking about adoption now. i dont know what to do. I dont want this baby to go through all this. I just watn to love it. i really do. but i do not want him around. at all.December 6, 2006 at 4:26 am #13699Anonymous
Hi honey. I’m sorry you are having to deal with this. That’s why I awasy say be careful who you provide as a daddy to your children.
First of all, don’t let him threaten you. You are the mommy and they can’t just take over. You would have to set up legal visitation, child support etc if you decide to parent. YOU WILL HOWEVER BE STUCK dealing with this guy and his crazy girlfriends for the rest of your life because you share a child. That’s the reality of the situaiton.Do you have good family support?
Now – I am a huge advocate and participant in open adoption. YOU can choose a family and even have some level of openness – but you should know that HE would have to sign off. There can be no adoption plan without his consent. And yu have to consider it for the right reasons. No matter whta you do – this pregnancy has brought with it lifelong consequences.
You first have to make sure you are SAFE and that the baby is safe. It’s too bad that some men can’t be men and step up to the plate and grow up!!!!!! And the girlfrind sounds like a real winner herself.
Hugs.December 12, 2006 at 8:43 am #13856Anonymous
I am five and a half months go to a hospital away from him to give birth. Lie about the hospital you have chosen. Don’t put him on the birth cert. and above all stop talking to him so much the stress is deadly to your growing baby. My Babies father is going to be listed as unknown so that I have full custody and the father has none. And hes a good guy I just know it will be better for my son in the future.
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