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May 17, 2008 at 10:03 pm #21212MissMyKidz
🙁 Have any of you chosen adoption for you baby? I just need someone to talk to…
I got pregnant last year in October and then in November thought I lost it. I had noticed that I hadn’t had a period and was not feeling well so I checked again just for kicks in December. The test was positive.
I chose addoption because I knew it’s what would be best for the baby. It wasn’t that I was trying to take the easy way out, and believe me… That choice has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
You see, I’ve already lost 2 to miscarriages and want so desperately want to be a mom. But the thing that I’ve always wanted for my child, the father and I can’t provide, and that is, married parents and a stable environment.
It is so hard to think about my baby not being mine. He’s in my belly while his adoptive mom gets to be running marathons and still looking great. They are going to get the joy of raising my son.
At times I hate myself for calling them (the adoptive parents) and for committing to them. If I wasn’t positive that adoption is best for the baby, I would change my mind so fast it’s not funny.
It’s not that I couldn’t take care of him, or that I’m not willing to. It’s not that I never want to think about him again, I’m going to get to see him as much as I can afford to. It’s just that his dad and I aren’t married and are now split up, not because of the choice to adopt, the dad agreed with me on it and he actually mentioned it first. I just couldn’t do that to our baby… I want Ethan (baby, to have the world and everything that good parents and a stable childhood can give him.
I really do love him. I don’t want to be just his birth mom, I want to be his mommy! The one he calls at night cause he had a bad dream, or asks to kiss his knee better. This could go on and on… Please, if you’ve gone through with an adoption, talk with me. It’s tearing me up inside.May 18, 2008 at 7:21 am #21213Meg11
Hey there, I have not personally given a child up for adoption but I know quite a few people who have either adopted, been adopted and also a couple who have actually place their children with adoptive parents…you are not alone and what you are doing is a very hard but loving thing…I pray that you will enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and that you will be encouraged in your heroic and brave choice…here is a website where you can read others stories and even submit your own… loveschoice.com ,I think you will find that you are not standing alone and that you can and will make it through this adoption process and you will come out a much more wise and loving person…I am here if you want to talk…just keep looking up…Love Meg… firstname.lastname@example.org
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