Am I making the right choice?

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  • #24185
    Avatarpumpkin21

    Hello Ladies,

    I am a 27 year old single mother of two beautiful 10 and 8 year old children and currently 8 weeks pregnent. I am very confused about this pregnency as it was not planned and I am scared of raising a child all alone for the third time.

    Although I have had three terminations and I vowed after the last that I would not be doing it again I am starting to lean toward the option. Further more I fell pregnant whilst on the IUD.

    I know I am capable of looking after this child, I rent my home have a stable job and am intiteled to maternity leave, but it is the emotional support that I am lacking.

    The father of the child is still young himself has no children, and has gone back to his former partner.

    I don’t have any family that accept me after I kept my first child who is nearly 10 years old, so I pretty much just have me and my children.

    I was happy when I found out I was pregnant, but now I am re thinking that I should terminate, its killing me inside I don’t want to be selfish but I am so scared to do it all alone again, almost like going back to step one all over again.

    In the other hand I can imagine my little one in my arms and it brings a tear to my eye… I am so lost and have no idea what my heart is saying?

    Any suggestions?

    #24193
    AvatarMeg11

    Hey Punkin…LOL…My name is Meg, I am 27 with 3 kids too, I also have a stepson so that makes 4….my biggest suggestion is to keep this precious new beginning, I feel that this is what your baby will be for you…I understand the no family thing I went through the same thing when I was a single mom…I made my own family though, I started going to church and I made many friends who turned to family and people even joke about the fact that my kids have more grandmas than any other kids in the world…LOL….you have found a great place for emotional support here on Standupgirl…you also have two great helpers, 8 and 10 are good ages, this will be ok…you can make it you just need to Stand Up….I know and can feel that if you go through with an abortion that it will send you into a deep deep rut to say the least, I know you want this baby and you do not have to feel guilty or irresponsible for that….you will not be a single mom forever, your life will change, you will find someone who loves you and all 3 of your kids and who will Stand by your side…trust me….

    http://guweb2.gonzaga.edu/~dewolf/8wk.gif

    here is a link to a picture of a real 8 week gestation baby (copy pate the whole thing it is not working right)…this is your little one…look at the ears and internal organs all developed in there….wow…you have such a great possession in your womb right now…hang in there we are all here for you on Standupgirl, we will be your family and support group…please know that….I hope this helps you make the final decision to welcome a new member to your family, you have 7 months to prepare and you will do just fine…I am here anytime you want to talk….Love Meg

    #24199
    Avataremeraldforestmyheartbro

    Hi pumpkin, my name is Enya and I am 16.

    I truly believe that God does not bestow upon us more then he knows we can handle. Although you feel alone, scared, nervous, please know that you are not alone. Take Meg for example, she chose life for her children and look at her now! She is a happy successful mom with 4 beautiful kids.

    If you kill your little baby you will regret it for as long as you live. Could you imagine not having your eight or ten year old around? every child deserves life, no matter how small!! Please dont punish your little baby for existing. After all, This child was created in love, you should embrace it! Love it and be excited, its ok!!!! God wants you to rejoice in this miracle.

    I know you can do this! Do you attend church at all? Try talking to a priest or pastor, or attend the church service and ask God to show you the way, to take away your pain and help you to embrace this pregnancy. A little prayer you could say would be:

    [i]Dear Lord,
    Lord I am lost. I am alone and confused. I have discovered that I am pregnant, and seek your advice. Father, please show me the way, please help me in my time of need. Lord, I do not want to give up my little baby, but I dont know what else to do. Please help me to find the strength inside to give my child life. Thank you Lord, In Jesus name I pray, Amen.[/i]

    Pumpkin you and your little ones will be in my prayers! God Bless!!

    Enya

    #24200
    Avatarbreathless

    Hey there, I don’t have any advice but I do have a question. I am 17 and on the IUD, I have a 15 month old boy. How did this happen to you? How long were you on the IUD for before you got pregnant?

    #24211
    Avatarpumpkin21

    Hi There,

    Like most contreception there are always risks, nothing is 100%. I had previously been on the IUD for 5 years after my son, then had it removed and replaced. When I discovered I was pregnant the doctor had said she suspected it was not inserted correctly. Its a good idea to keep getting cheaked while you are on the IUD.
    Hope that helps.

    #24212
    Avatarpumpkin21

    Thanks Meg….

    I can understand what you are saying, I only wish I could be as optimistic as you. How blessed you are to have someone who accepts you fully… congratulations sister:)

    I am still scared, but everything I feel is telling me to keep my child, and I get very emotional at the thought of abortion,I am also affraid of what babys fathers familys reaction is going to be, weather they will ignore my child or play an active role. I guess all I can do is prat and leave it in gods hands. Once again thank you!

    #24213
    Avatarpumpkin21

    Thank you Enya for your encouraging words, you are truly a beautiful soul!!!

    God Bless
    xoxoxox

    #24223
    AvatarMeg11

    So does this mean you are keeping baby?? I sure hope so, I am so proud of you for Standing Up for this precious life…..Let me know if you have any other questions or just need to talk…Love Meg

    #24224
    AvatarMeg11

    I agree with Pumpkin21, there is no contraception that is 100% effective 100% of the time other than abstinence….the important thing to remember is that it can not only affect your health but put a baby’s life in jeopardy, just make sure that you make healthy choices and never put being sexually active on a more important level than life itself….Love Meg

    #24225
    Avatarpumpkin21

    Im still not 100% sure yet,:(
    God knows deep down inside I really want to keep my baby.

    I’m just looking at the big picture, I’m feeling really lonely and scared, I wish I had someone to share this experience with, feeling really tiered and sick….

    I have my first antinatel appointment this Thursday, so hopefully I can have a word with her then.

    I just wish all my doubts would go away, I’m still very confused!!!!

    #24252
    AvatarMeg11

    When you look at the big picture minus what anyone but you wants this life inside of you is worth the sacrifice of personal comfort…I can relate to being lonely during two of my pregnancies that I spent single and alone…it was hard, I cried myself to sleep sometimes but the big picture is being lived out now, that was a short time period, I now have a wonderful husband,he married me even though I had two kids from two dads…I am not lonely anymore but I also do not have a deep wound in my heart from the guilt of choosing a man over my children or choosing an easy life over my children and if you ask anyone who knows you will hear that living with the regret of abortion is not easy….the big picture is life, the big picture is that this baby will grow up and be an adult in the blink of an eye and you will wish that you could still swaddle him/her in your arms the big picture is that if you get the abortion you will never forget it and live with regret the big picture is that anyone who asks you to take the life of your own child, not to mention their own child as well, has only their best interest in mind, not yours not this baby, but his….You have a responsibility to this life you created and I beg you to not go on Thursday to be lied to by someone who gets paid to take the lives of the innocent…this baby inside of you needs you…he/she is 100% dependent on you, you have many many thousands of other women on this site to share your experience with, the harsh reality is that there are thousands of girls who share their experiences on here that are sharing in order to prevent you from doing what they did, that is to take the life of this baby, your baby….I hope and pray that you will find the strength inside of you to Stand Up for yourself and your child….I am here for you and please let me know what you are going to do….Love Meg

    #24364
    Avatarpumpkin21

    Hi Meg….

    I have decided to keep my baby,
    I am really scared, but abortion is not an opption for me.
    My emotions are a real live rollercoaster at the moment, feeling very alone and unsupported.

    But I can’t waitto hold my little one in my arms!!!

    Thanks for the encouraging words and support.

    Love
    Pumpkin

    #24398
    AvatarAnonymous

    i think you have the ability to be strong and you already know what it’s going to be like raising a child since you already have two little ones. I think everything will work out for the best, just keep your head high! 🙂

    #24565
    AvatarKanye

    Im 19 and a single mom of a 4year old baby girl,i know how hard it is raising a child alone let alone 3kids.But you know what?God will never forsake you :)At the present moment you feel alone,but he is so near….love your kids & the one who’s on the way.Believe in him-he will never let you down.

    #24673
    Avatarpumpkin21

    :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

    Thank you so much sisters,

    I am doing well and in a better place than I was a few weeks ago.

    I am approching my second trimester now, I can feel buba’s flutters, my Son is so excited he is going to be a big brother.

    Everyone at work is very supportive.

    Every morning and night I thank god for all the blessings in my life and know he is very near.

    Thank you to everyone who has supported me through this confusing time, even by adding a thread to my discussion it felt like I wasn’t so alone and gave me the courage to STAND UP!

    LOVE xoxoxox
    Pumpkin and Puku (Maori for tummy)

    #24674
    AvatarMeg11

    I am so proud of you and I know that this is going to be a blessed season in your life…it does help to have others remind us that we are not alone and you are a wonderful example and a great encouragement of what can happen when we chose to love others and just be a friend…thank you for coming back and letting us all know about the wonderful decisions that you made and I hope you will stick around and continue to do the same for others….Love Meg

    #24676
    Avatarmyangelsinheaven

    It is always a beautiful day when someone sees God’s opportunities as blessings and embraces them without fear and doubt. We are only doing for you what we would want someone to do for us.

    God will continue to reward you for your choice. He will bless you with many graces and continue to put loving supportive people at your feet.

    My best wishes for your pregnancy and we’d love to walk through this journey with you so please let us know how things progress.

    Prayers of health and peace,
    myangelsinheaven

    #24833
    AvatarKanye

    :kiss: Het pumpkin.Im Kanye & im 19,i also have a daughter.You kniw regardless of how cliched it sounds,GOD WILL NEVER FORSAKE YOU!!!!!So just trust in him and that he knows whats right for you.:) Regardless of the drama in your life,its all insignificant to him.He wouldnt have given you the preciuos gift[your kids] if he knew that you wouldn’t be able to handle it.So trust him……. love,peace & grace-Kanye

    #25016
    Avatarpumpkin21

    Hello Sisters….

    Just an update on how things are going for me and my pregnency….

    I am slowly approching my third trimester, I am 19 weeks now so nearly half way:laugh:

    Baby is moving around like a little speed racer hehehe, it’s so funny the movement that is, I had forgotten what it felt like after 8 years lol….

    I find out weather I am having a boy or a girl next Tuesday so I am very excited about that!!!

    Life is good, I try to be greatfull for each day and give thanks. I get lonely sometimes, and wish I had my baby’s father there to share this experience with, I look at other couples and get upset.

    But I try to stay positive and have faith that god has a bigger plan in store for me and my children, and one day when the time is right I will meet someone who will love me and my children unconditionally…

    To all the woman who are confused and in the same situation as myself or similar, keep your head up.. we must be extreamly strong woman blessed with these tests from god and he is one person that will never leave us!!!

    Love Pumkin
    xoxoxox;)

    #25305
    Avatarpumpkin21

    Hello All,

    24 weeks tomorrow “6 months”

    Baby is officialy a boy…
    I am thinking of naming him Elijah.

    Movement is very constant now, all by the grace of god all is well…

    Keep us in you prayers….

    Love
    Me and Eli
    xoxox

    #25306
    Avatarmyangelsinheaven

    I am sure I share in your joy as much as the other women on StandUpGirl. It was wonderful to hear your update and also to hear your heart speak out with your understanding of where God has brought you in your life. It is a point of maturity and growth, both emotionally and spiritually to lay down your burdens at his feet and to ask him to carry you. Motherhood is a constant act of selflessness from the moment of accepting the life inside you at conception, through the years of raising a child, until the time when they are ready to make their way on their own in the world. We are called to be selfless and put the life of our child first….at all costs. The rewards of that kind of love toward another may not always gain recognition or praise from the world…..but from your child, you will never live without knowing that they admire you, accept you, thank you, and LOVE you. That is why you were blessed with this baby.

    I will pray for you and your healthy pregnancy.
    Many blessings and supportive friendship,
    myangelsineheaven

    #25671
    Avatarpumpkin21

    Hello all….

    Well it has been a while since I have posted anything, I feel now as if the subject line should read I made the right choice!!

    I am now 35 weeks, Elijah Zion-Mathew will be here very soon….

    What a journey it has been!!!

    Lonely at times, happy and confusing moments, all praises due to his divine spirit, our father in heven, he has helped me so much along the way, he has carried me through the hurt and confusion and showed me that all I need are my childeren and his presence in my life, and in his time all things are possible.

    If this thread has helped even one woman in a similar situation then I am glad, the easy road is not always the right route to take and can end up very lonely and painful at the end.

    We woman do not give enough credit to our spirits, what ever situation you are in belive that there is a better day ahead.

    Blessings
    Pumpkin and Elijah
    xoxoxoxo

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