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May 18, 2006 at 3:39 am #11078Anonymous
I am 20 almost 21 (my bf (of almost 2 years) being slightly younger than I We have decided to try for a baby (being the 2nd month and nothing so far) Call me crazy but I am young and have all the time I could possibly imagine before this, but I have been wanting this for the past year. I am worrying about it and what our parents would say or think ( knowing that his parents would be furious at both of us) Myself I am mainly worried about what my other would say or how she would act. I think it would just tear her up, I think she expects so much out of me, she looks up to me in a way ( is how I feel) I know she wants me to go to college and make something better of myself (then what she made of her life: married right out of HS and had a baby not long after that, and didn’t go to college. I am worried about a lot of things; that and what comes along with it, how it would effect my relationship with my boyfriend, or my/his parents. My boyfriend and I work full time jobs with good pay and benefits and we have been saving money up for this for a little while now. I am just worried if and when I do get pregnant how I will tell my mother (my parents and his) I couldn’t tell her (them) that it was a planned pregnancy because I just think it would make things worse
I am just posting this because I don’t really have anyone to talk about this with and I just need to get this off of my chest.. just let it all out.May 21, 2006 at 5:28 am #11106imajackson
In my view you’re not crazy. I think you are at a crossroads in your life with many options and a LOT of fears. I read that you are saving up money for the baby and that is a good plan. Yet you seem to have many fears about every other aspect of your life. You are worried about how this will change your relationship with your boyriend, you are very worried about how this will affect your mom and you even worry about the relationships with your boyfriend’s parents. Is it really the best time to bring a baby into your life? Would you rather bring a baby into your life when you are secure in all your relationships? You have so many healthy years to bring a baby into your life- do you really want to do it under such stressful circumstances you have today? Remember that babies need security from a WHOLE family, not just from the mommy.
Think about the BEST situation for the baby, not just for you and your boyfriend. A baby does the best with a strong family unit that is secure and healthy.
I urge you to think seriously about other options for your life right now. Try some college and see if you like it! You might be very surprised what God has for you if you try some new things and allow some time to think about this life-long choice. Children are forever.
In my opinion (as a mommy) every baby deserves a mommy and a daddy who love each other and are in a committed marriage. Where the parents are secure emotionally and have the full support of all of their family.
That is worth waiting for! YOU are worth all of that. Don’t be afraid to wait, try some new things in life while you are young and your wisdom (life experience) will bring SO much more to your motherhood. It sure did for mine and I am happy I waitied until I married my husband to have our baby. Every day I am happy I waitied.
I wish you all the very best life has to offer- don’t be afraid to go out and find some of it before motherhood!
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