Advice for a 33 year old mom of 4!!

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  • #24430
    Avatarjodid33

    Hi, I am 33 years old, i have 4 children, who are beautiful. My youngest is 10 months old. After she was born I had an IUD inserted, however it did not work. Now I am about 17-18 weeks pregnant!!! I just found this out, you would think as a mom of 4 i would know the symptoms, well I didn’t have any! Also I started this new medication around the same time and its said in side affects that it could interfer:ohmy: e with my period. I had no symptoms, and no clue until recently that I am pregnant. My problem, my husband does not know yet, and he is going to flip his lid!! Our financial state is not the best, we are barely making it by. I am enjoying my youngest daughter so much and think its so unfair to have another baby. I did not want any more children, and its now too late for abortion. This news is so new, I have not even gone to see a dr. yet. I am at a loss. I don’t know what to do. I really thought my 10 month old was my last baby obviously that is why i went for the IUD. I don’t know how to tell my husband, and i am scared too. What do I do? Its not like he will leave me, cuz he won’t but he is not going to be happy. I just need some advice, I am scared and don’t know how to tell him. Plus I had major problems with my last pregnancy. Can you please offer me any type of advice you can it would be greatly appreciated!! Thank you.
    :ohmy:

    #24436
    AvatarKAGluvme

    As a 16 year old, it seems a little strange to be giving a 33 year old advice, but here it goes. Talk to your husband and see what he thinks, you could always put your baby up for adoption. Yea giving up your baby is hard but if you dont have enough money as is it is prob. the best solution. You could talk to your friends and see if they know any one who is trying to have a baby but cant. If you and your husband dont want to give up all rights to your child, you could have an open adoption so you can see your baby as much as the adoptive parents will let you. What ever your choice is make it wisly.

    #24437
    Avatarnadza

    woah how simmilar can 2 stories be…

    im 17 married mom 2 a 13month old, 6months preg wit numb 2, i also found out wen i was 18weeks preg, i also had no symptoms,i also was on birth control (the pill and breastfeedin) and like u i also felt like i would be robbing my (then 10month old) of the attention she deservd plus we are not in the best financial sittuation….
    i really dont know wat advice to giv u except that it will be ok, sure he will go a lil nuts wen he hears the news but wats done is done and its no use fighting it, the sooner you both accept it the better, its not like u planned it intentionally, its just destiny, and wen ur husband sees and holds your lil one the day he/she is born, he will know that its worth it, i also think the earlier u tell him the better so that u can make a financial plan like saving more or a extra part time job and another reason u shud get it out in the open is so u can go to the doc n make sure all is well sincing u had complications last time round

    best of luck xoxoxo

    #24438
    Avatarmyangelsinheaven

    Hello,

    You can love this child equally as you love your other four and visa versa. This baby will not take away the love you have for your 10 mo old. It will be a different relationship but God doesn’t give us just one amount of love to spread to just a certain amount of loved ones…it doesn’t work like that. By accepting your baby, He provides you with love as a reward for accepting His blessing….therefore you have more to give to another child. God will not abandon you if you turn to Him in prayer. Tell Him your concerns and worries and He will provide you with what you need. Especially with regards to your husband, I know exactly what you’re feeling. I have had to tell my husband numerous times that were expecting another baby, while holding an infant on my lap. But as a married couple you open yourself up to conceiving whether planned or not…..it’s God plan that we procreate with our spouse. We tried to avoid getting pregnant so many times…..and not matter what we did, we always got pregnant. With two sets of back to back babies along with some older than them and younger than the other set. It wasn’t until we made it up in our minds to turn our life and our marriage over to God and stopped trying to fight his plan for us, that we found peace and acceptance. Whether it was when we were abstinate to avoid pregnancy and ended up conceiving anyway……or, when we tried to conceive and couldn’t for a long time. We accepted it as God’s plan for us as a married couple.

    I’m not sure how old your other children are, but if they are older than 6-7 yrs. then they will be such a great help to mommy and the new baby. They’re even strong enough to hold baby on the floor in their lap while mom cooks dinner, or takes a quick shower.

    You will find ways to cut corners with meals and clothes. (mine have always shared, and how many outfits do children need anyway?) You’re immediate family will love you for your choice to accept life even if they show concern or doubt at first. God finds a way to bring people together and He slowly creeps into our hearts when we witness someone elses selflessness and abundant LOVE!!

    Do not be afraid…..God will carry you through your fears, just turn to him. Your husbands human nature may prevent him from rejoicing in this life you and he have created, but only for awhile. God will speak to your husband, as the father of your child and show him the way as well.

    I will be praying for you.
    God bles,
    myangelsinheaven

    #24441
    Avatarjessey223

    Wow what a surprise…..my advice as a mom of 1 is just to tell your husband know. Sometimes the best things in life are not great news initially but it will be. Keep in mind he too thought your 10 month old was the last baby and he is entitled to be shocked or a little beside himself. He may act differently then you did and you should support him. It takes two to tango and Im sure he will come around and love this child just like all of the others. And money as you well know somehow you make do as you have with the four you have. Somehow it all works out. Take a deep breath and tell him. Best of luck..

    Jessica

    #24461
    Avataremeraldforestmyheartbro

    Hey Jess, my advice to you would be to please keep your little baby. Your husband will be shocked at first but he will get over it and in time learn to love your little one as much as you do. I can tell already that you love this child, so please, listen to your heart and do what’s right by you and God. I agree with Myangel that God will provide you with the love and thing nessesary to raise this child.

    take care.
    xox Enya

    #24473
    Avatarmyangelsinheaven

    Hi mom of 5!!

    I’m sorry but you’ve been on my mind and I thought I’d just let you know something that came to me while I was at church. You are already loving your new baby whether it’s conciensiously or not. Your body is sustaining that baby inside you. Your baby feels your warmth, he/she feels your heart beating, knows the sound of your voice and is thriving inside you. You are ALREADY, a mother of 5!! Motherhood doesn’t take place at the moment of birth…….it is at the instant of conception. Do not be afraid. Lean on God to provide you.

    my prayers are with you,
    myangelsinheaven

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