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April 29, 2007 at 11:55 am #17137viktoreah
im 19 years old in a few short weeks i will be the mother of four kids. i have two boys ages 4 and 2 and i am 36 weeks pregnant with twins. my parents want me to do the responsible thing. but i dont know what the responsible thing is. i and a full time student at usc and work full time. i dont have much time to spend with my boys but we make it work. the father is not in the picture. having two more babies will put me behind in school and in work. i just dont know what to do. i need help.May 1, 2007 at 5:21 am #17150latinawittwins
Iam 19 and i have boy/girl twins and iam pregnant with my third due in december sheduled an abortion for friday just knowing that there other girls who are dealing with my same problem really does make me feel better, dont wanna have an abortion but i feel i dont have a choice. you are a brave women for not even having an abortion i feel so stupid for getting myself into this situation again. Adoption is good, have an open adoption those are really good you can keep up with your babys and see them sometime and get pictures and stuff anyway good luck to you hope everything goes well…
LeticiaMay 1, 2007 at 7:56 am #17152roxannes_legacy
What is your heart telling you? Are you the one looking at adoption? Or is it your parents?
I’m sure it has to be so hard, being 19 and soon to have 4 children, plus working AND going to school. I couldn’t imagine. One question I have is this…what are you going to school for? And is it something that you could finish online? I know alot of people that have finished their schooling that way…High Schoolers, College age AND even some older people.
If you are thinking about adoption, what are your honest thoughts about it? Is it something that you could do without any regrets? If it is, they do have Open Adoptions…that is where the birth mother is able to stay involved in the childs life…here is an awesome site that I have been checking out, as my husband and I are considering adoption…..www.planlovingadoptions.org……..it does both adoptions…closed and open. Please let me know your thoughts and fears…if you would comment me back on my space.
Blessings, RoxanneMay 1, 2007 at 11:08 am #17153goodluckyall
I feel so badly for you to have to make a decision like this. I’m wanting so much to adopt and yet when I think of the cost to the moms who must give up a child, I feel for them. My own mom was forced to give up my sister when she (my mom) was 15. This is a decision you must make alone. Only you know if you can afford these two wonderful babies. You must also think of your emotional health, the stress, and everything that goes with babies/children. How much more school do you have left? Maybe your folks will help you until you graduate and then can apply your degree towards making a good living. I commend you for working and going to school. It sounds like although you made some bad choices in regard to sex/birth control, you are trying to be responsible in other areas and make the right choice for these babies as well. Does your school have a daycare center? I really don’t know what else to say except that I wish you the best in whatever you decide and I applaud your decision to choose life for these precious babies. I would pray about it and try to formulate a plan now so that you’ll be prepared either way. Take care.May 3, 2007 at 3:17 am #17167kgirlsmith
Wow! You are a strong woman!
Are you thinking of adoption because you think that might be best/responsible or are you feeling pressured into it by your parents. At 36 (nearly 37) weeks with twins, you could deliver at any time.
If you elect adoption, I would encourage you to educate yourself on adoption. There are three main types:
1. Closed – no contact (traditional) – becoming uncommon in the US.
2. Semi-open – you can select the family you want for your babies. Then, you can receive some information on a periodic basis (e.g., letters and photos) and you can even send info to the adoptive family/kiddos.
3. Open – You can have an on-going relationship where you are not the mommy of the kids but you can see them occasionally, receive photos, call, email, send letters – in both directions.
I’d encourage you to learn more about these options and if you select adoption, pick the one that is best for you.
We have an open adoption with our daughter’s birth family. We adopted her at birth (took her home form the hospital). We send tons of photos (I’m a children’s photographer) – a whole box full about every three months, call them/they call us, email, send letters and even got together for lunch three times last year (me, baby, birth mother, her twin sister and her mom and one of her sons). We are currently planning another lunch date this month.
When we got involved in adoption, I didn’t know how I’d feel about an open adoption. Now that we are living it, I wouldn’t want it any other way. It means that there are no secrets – for them or us. When our daughter is older and she has questions about her birth, her birth family/siblings, why she was placed for adoption, etc. she can just ask them! She’ll know them.
This is a new age of adoption. If you decide to parent your two new bundles, I wish you strength and courage. It can be done! If you select adoption, I wish you peace and an adoption experience that is positive for you and your children.
Take care and let me know if you want to chat.
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