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January 19, 2013 at 6:18 am #28789amywolfe87
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and living under one roof for the past 3 years. I feel depressed as I have no other life but him. I don’t have anyone I can call a friend. Lately, he has been hitting me… we get into physical fights over small things. I’m just scared to resist him because I don’t want him to hit me. I have nowhere else to go. I’m lost, alone and need advice.January 19, 2013 at 6:53 pm #28790Meg11
Hey there….I know this is going to sound cliche but its true…YOU NEED TO GET OUT NOW….I know only a small number of couples who once had physical abuse in their relationship, who no longer do…it took years of change and rebuilding of trust and they STILL have consequences to this day…It has taken a great deal of patience, trust, forgiveness and dedication to make it work….The few people I know in this situation are RARE as MOST couples who have physical abuse in their relationships fall into these categories, 1) Nothing changes, she stays until he dies or until he kills her 2) She leaves, only to end up with ANOTHER abuser as she has become the type of woman to attract an abuser 3) She runs, gets help and NEVER goes back and finds great sources of healing to help her become the kind of woman who will NEVER allow it to happen to her again….I think we have all seen those posters in women’s public bathrooms about domestic violence…the strips of paper with the phone number to call for help are always missing….So many women are being abused, they DO want help, just like you are seeking it here, they are afraid just like you are, they feel they have no where to go, no one to turn to…THIS IS A LIE…Here is what I want you to do…Visit http://optionline.org/ , Enter your postal code into the site and it will give you the contact information for the closest Pregnancy Help Center near you…They have lists of all kinds of local resources available…they should have the contact info for some type of Womens Safety and Resource Center…I know the one in my town actually has apartments, they will give you a grant, give you a FREE place to stay with security guards, help you get set up with food and medical assistance, help you find a job if you don’t have one (many abusers do NOT allow the abused to work, I know mine didn’t let me, its a way to keep control and dependency) Anyways, they CAN and WILL help you….You are much to precious to be treated this way, abusers train us to believe that we are worthless, that they are doing us a favor by staying with us as no one else would ever want us, they train us to believe that no one would hire us, love us, believe us, take care of us, they ingrain in our thoughts that we are pathetic and need them….Does this sound familiar to you? Just the other day a girl on facebook posted a picture of what happened to her neighbor at 4am that day….Her ex had come in the middle of the night and beaten her…Her forehead was split open to the point of exposing her skull, her eye was black and blue and bloodshot, her face was so swollen…Many of her friends were angry and posted that it was wrong to post pics like that…She said that if this girl refused to call the cops and report him that she was going to make it public…They have classes for abused women called INOKA, Its Not O K Anymore….don’t wait till he exposes your skull, don’t wait till he tells you “if I can’t have you, no one can” Don’t wait for him to change…GET OUT NOW and DO NOT GO BACK….Please feel free to message me, firstname.lastname@example.org….The majority of my relationship abuse experience was emotional, however my stepdad used to beat me bloody, I used to watch him beat my mom and once I thought he killed her, it was very traumatizing and I ran to get help…My mom told me for years that I had had a bad dream, but she finally admitted to me when I was 18 that he HAD tried to snap her neck that night….I know what you are going through and I know how hard it is to put your foot down and leave all you know to better yourself, while believing that you are ruining your life by doing so, I have had the begging and the broken promises of, “I am so sorry, I will change” RUN…NOW…Please….I am here for you…Please email me and keep me up to date on how you are….DO not tell him you are leaving….Gather your important things, such as important paperwork/documents, anything special or sentimental, maybe one day when you know he will be gone a few hours have a police officer come over while you gather those things and stand guard so you can leave safely with your things….If it takes staying at a womens shelter for a time, its worth your life….it starts with verbal abuse, to wear you down, then it turns to aggression, then shoving, then slapping, then hitting, then punching and before you know it strangling, suffocating, shooting, stabbing etc….the end is death….RUN…Love Meg
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