6months how can i ever forgive myself and move on?

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  • #24080
    Avatarsophia roses mummy

    [i]hi im gabby and i had an abortion 6months ago today and i was 6months and 1 week pregnant and my mum made me have the abortion, i was 15 years old now im 16. When im out shopping and i see a baby with a teen mother i think to myself why couldt i have got the chance to do that and why did i go to that heartbracking apointment? and why did i do what i did to my little girl? i cant seem to find the answers and theres a big part of me that does’t want to move on and forget her and i wont ever be able to forget her i just dont know how to cope with loosing her and i see her in every baby i see and it brackes my heart. and my bestfriend who is 16 has just found out shes pregnant and shes going to keep her baby and i feel really upset and angry with myself and i feel like im pushing my bestfriend away from me when weve been really good friends for 7 years and i feel like i should be really happy for her but i feel really angry towards her because of this i feel like im loosing a really good friend over what happend with me and my daughter and i just dont now how to cope or what to do?
    r.i.p sasha-lou nicole clarke i will allways love you and i will never forget you.
    love mummy xxxxxxxxx

    gabby xo[/i]

    #24093
    AvatarAnonymous

    Hi Gabby,
    I am so sorry for your pain! I know that abortion is really really hard to deal with.
    How can you forgive yourself and move on? Well, the truth is that you can’t. Your own forgiveness means nothing to you and won’t help you to move on. In order to be able to be free from the horrible guilt that you are living with you need Jesus’s forgiveness. He died to set you free from your abortion. I don’t know if you are a Christian, but in order to ‘move on’ you need to first be set free and forgiven, but not by yourself. Only after Jesus sets you free can you forgive yourself.
    You are always going to regret your abortion, but you don’t need to be a slave to your guilt.
    I hope that everything works out with your friend!
    Hugs!

    #24104
    AvatarEvangeline

    Hey sweetheart,
    I know how tough this on you, what you’re experiencing is complicated grief associated with P.A.S.S. In time, you’re therapist will teach you some techniques to help you deal with these emotions. While you’ll never forget what happened, you’ll be able to cope a bit better.
    I know it’s not what you want to hear, because you don’t want any other baby but Sasha-Lou, but one day you will be able to experience motherhood, without your parents being able to force you into anything.
    You can’t go through life blaming yourself and feeling guilty for this, because in all honesty, it wasn’t your decision. You did what you did because you weren’t given another option. This doesn’t reflect on you, your character or your future ability to be a mother. You’re a strong, intelliigent and beautiful young girl, with a bright future ahead of you.

    About your friend, talk to her. Just be honest about how you’re feeling, as your friend she sould be able to try to understand what you’re going through. Also, try not to get too involved in the all the preparation like buying clothes, chosing names etc honestly, it’s not going to help you right now. Stick to your therapy 🙂 lots of hugs and good luck!
    E xoxox

    #24107
    AvatarMrs Radway

    Dear Gaby hi my name is Anika and this is the first day that I signed up for Standup girl and was amazed by your story.

    Well I am sure our mother had her reasons for doing what she did, but I don’t agree with it.

    I know and understand how hard it is for you to get over it, she was a part of you and it wil no be an easy thing to overcome but look at it this way.

    That baby is happy where she is and she is looking down at you and smiling. I am not sure if you believe in GOD but I do,and I always think that he provides angels to watch over people and I think your angel is your daughter.

    In regards to your friend being pregnant what I want you to remember is whatever happened to you has nothing to do with your friend, none of the decisions that occured hadanything to do with her. Your friend nees you now more than ever, and that is what I want you to be to her a fiend. I am sure she will need all the assistance she can get, being a teenage mother is alot more that some people thing. You need a lot more peole by your side supporting you phyically and mentally.

    If you need to talk, I am here to listen.

    Mrs. Radway:)

    #24141
    Avatarsophia roses mummy

    thankyou for all the advice 🙂 gabby x

    #24148
    Avataremeraldforestmyheartbro

    Hey gabby, Im sorry for your loss. Just know that you baby has forgiven you and she is safe in heaven. Have you tried naming her, and maybe writing a letter to her telling her how much you love her and how sorry you are? Maybe when you are missing her light a candle and say a prayer for her. God has forgiven you and your little girl is safe in his arms.

    Please take care,

    -Enya

    #24684
    AvatarZiella

    Hi
    your story really touched my heart, tears just fell down. I can see that you really miss your baby, although i’ve never had an abortion, it must have been terrible. Don’t blame your friend for keeping her baby, you can support her and love her baby aswell. Wish you all the best for the future.

    #25420
    Avatarsophia roses mummy

    thankyou 🙁
    it will be a year on the 9th of september 2009 i mis her so much 🙁
    i found out the sex of my baby today im having a little girl 🙂 but i dont know how i can manage to get thru all of this atm i just wana cry and cry 🙁

    #25428
    Avatarjessey223

    Gaby,
    As much as it hurts and there is still so much time you are going to need to heal look at your life today, if you had the baby last year chances are you would not be pregnant with your precious little girl now. Sometimes life is really hard and we make choices we can’t go back on but we learn from them and they make us who we are today. As a pregnant teen and new mom you will appreciate being there even more because of what you went through. Just do yourself a favor and try to enjoy each moment of this pregnancy and the new baby because it will go bye sooooo fast. I wish you the best of luck and I am here anytime to chat. Jessica

    #25470
    AvatarAnonymous

    You will eventually be able to find a way to deal with the pain of losing your child, but you need to focus on the joy of having your child. It is always good to remember and grieve, but enjoying your pregnancy is also important. You need to be able to find a balance, which is VERY difficult during pregnancy, between those emotions so that stress won’t overcome you. I wish you the best of luck. 🙂

    #25474
    Avatartearzonmypillow

    God forgave you baby girl. Forgive yourself. Your child is in a better place. I know you feel regret, that’s why you feel that way about your friend. You probably feel shes stronger than you because shes choosing life. Whatever you do in life- make choices for yourself. Dont let no one make your choice for you honey. Now go wipe your tears and tell your friend how happy your are for her;)

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