21, pregnant….what do i do now?

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Elisabeth22 Elisabeth Kaplan .

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  • #28905
    Myttens
    Ashley

    Heres my short story. My name is Ashley, I just recently went through a huge change in my life. For the past 10years Ive been a lesbian, I never liked the idea of being with a man for the simple reason that my mom and myself had been abused by them all my life. All that changed when i met my boyfriend. Id never been so head over heels about a man…the crazy thing is that weve only been in a relationship for a month. Ive been friends with him since high school and Ive never met such a respectable man. Now recently ive been late for my period and have had really bad cramps.i took a digital HPT…and it said i was pregnant. I`m completely floored that this has happened bc we used protection and ive been with women for so long i never had to worry about things like this. So….i had a feeling i was bc im never late…but what do i do now? Ive only told my closest friend…i just found out today. I have kept my boyfriend up to date on how ive been late and what not…but havent told him yet. Im also worried bc im a college student working on my associate of Art degree…i have no job but am living on my own with a friend. Do i quit school? Do i keep the baby? How can i get a job if future employers know im pregnant? I need help…some kind of advice…i dont want to bring a child into a poor eenvironment….idk if i could even have the means to care for it financially….i already love it…..and my man already told me hed stand by me if i got pregnant. He told me he refuses to be like his deadbeat father.

    #28908
    queenB
    April Ponto

    Hey Myttens,
    Thanks for sharing your story.

    It sort of sounds like your head and your heart are battling right now i.e. your head says it’s impractical to have a child but your heart already loves him/her. It’s ok to listen to your heart. In fact, I support you listening to your heart! This is your body and your choice and you should do what you want.

    It is true that raising a child is expensive, but there is help that is available to you. Pregnancy resource centers are located all across the United States and they help women with all of their needs during and after their pregnancy–and it’s all free. To find the pregnancy resource center that is closest to you, just go to http://www.optionline.org.

    As for getting a job, legally you do not have to tell an employer that you are pregnant; moreover, an employer can’t not hire you because you are pregnant. The law highly favors pregnant women. That is good news for you! (And btw I’m not a lawyer and this is not legal advice :))

    You know, I think that you are in a good position to follow your heart. I know many women in similar situations as yours who have been wonderful mothers with even less resources and support than you have. You can do this!

    #28910
    Elisabeth22
    Elisabeth Kaplan

    Hey Myttens…

    When I read your post I was struck with so much positive in you story.
    – You are with a ‘respectable man’ who stated he has no intention on being ‘like his deadbeat father.;

    And the biggest psotive that I saw was that you ‘already love’ you’re little baby. Not many young people in your situation can admit that. Your honesty is refreshing

    I know there are so many answered questions you must have right now. And none of them will be easily fixed. But I would encourage to take the first step and go to a pregnancy center – one in your area can be found at http://www.optionline.org. It has a number of resources for someone in your situation, it can help learning how to apply for certain government services for help with food, housing, etc. Your boyfriend is supportive now – things may change as things progress, but I’m still a believer in men who can take responsibility for their actions. You deserve support and help and we absolutely are here to help you at all times.

    Elisabeth
    PS, If you any have another questions, let any of us know. There are so much beautiful pictures of how wonderful your little angel is. 🙂 Will be praying for you very very very often 😉

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