19 & pregnant.. not sure which decision to make.

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  • #26635
    Avatarscaredconfused90

    I found out almost 3 weeks ago I’m pregnant. I’m going on my 7th week now and I’m so confused on which decision to make.

    As for a little background, my baby’s daddy is my ex-boyfriend but he’s also my best friend. However, he’s back together with his ex-girlfriend and cheated on her which is why I’m now in the situation I’m in. Not a good situation at all. Both he and my mom say they’ll support me no matter which decision I make but they both think abortion is the way to go. I’m in my second semester of college and overall, the guy isn’t responsible enough to be a parent, but tells me he would take responsibility and be the best dad he could if I choose to keep it. However, he also makes me feel guilty, saying he’ll lose the love of his life when he tells her & they break up and that he doesn’t know if he’ll want to live anymore (he’s had suicidal problems in the past.)

    I know that I’m too young and I plan on studying abroad and traveling and finishing school and so much more and that yes, abortion is probably the RIGHT option for me. I don’t have the time or money for a child and I want my children to grow up in a good environment, not with just a broke, single mother.

    However, I’ve had problems with anxiety before and the thought of an abortion causes me to sob every time I think about it. I don’t want to go through with it. It’s my child. I can’t imagine how I’m going to feel after. I have an appointment Friday where they do tests and an ultrasound and then if I choose, I can set up the second appointment for the actual abortion.

    I would just like people’s feedback. I need unbiased opinions because this is ALL I can think about and I have no idea what I’m going to do.

    #27835
    Avatarfordgirl23

    i hope you chose not to abort but its not my life, its yours. if it were me, and keeping it not an option, id choose adoption. there are women out in this world that can not have children but dream of being a mother, this gives them that option and you a way out.

    #27916
    AvatarBondservant

    1st, you are NOT responsible for him “losing the love of his life” or whatever HE decides to do as a result of your decision. Truth is, HE chose to have sex with you outside of that “loving” relationship. This is a manipulative tactic to get you to get “rid” of his little problem, thereby releasing him of any guilt, shame or responsibility. ARGH! To put it nicely, that dirtbag wouldn’t have a chance to touch my baby! Sorry, I know, not mine. ehem, moving on…

    2nd, you being in college is totally workable. If you decide to place your baby for adoption in a 2 parent home, that makes your life easier for sure. My sister did that and eventually reunited with her daughter after 23 years. It was awesome!

    BUT, if you decide that would be too hard (to place the baby for adoption), there are so many organizations that are ready and willing to help you through the pregnancy, school and all of the things that go with being a single mom. There are support groups, churches, crisis pregnancy centers that have what you need. That, in combination with family and friends, could help you over any obstacles. You may even qualify for extra help to go to college being a single mom.

    Just remember, an abortion is something you can’t take back once you have done it. When the baby is gone, it’s gone and can not only leave you with physical scars but emotional ones as well. Not to mention, the life that has been taken is precious and deserves a chance. If you choose adoption, at least you will be able to choose exactly which family your baby grows up in. If you choose to parent, you have chosen the most rewarding job on the face of the earth.

    #27948
    Avatarkyle0505

    hey..i got pregnant when i was on ur age, 1st thing came into my mind is to abort the bby,, but,, i ddnt do it, i told my sisters and they help me to tell my parents bout my conditions, as expected my parents hard to accet of what is happening that time,, they get and at me, and the dad of my child was so irresponsible, so ive decided to leave him,, and am proud being a single mom. it so hard to have a bby at young age, as well as a student,, but i ahve my family and they support me,, so if i were u,, dont go An Abortion,, hope, everythings going to be ok,, Godbless

    #28114
    AvatarDorkneetah

    First of all, ADOPTION it is a hard thing but is something to consider sweetheart :). Open adoption is amazing and highly encouraged. You choose the parents (so maybe if you have relatives wanting kids they could adopt the baby) or maybe you could pick complete strangers!

    Keeping a baby is hard work because pretty soon they aren’t a baby. They are a child and that comes with all the drama, school grades, bullies, self esteems and all the cost.

    You need to consider you options carefully. Sometimes keeping the baby is best, if your ready for kindergarten and all that (as they aren’t babies for long), if you aren’t ready than consider closed or open adoption depending on your personal situation :).

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