This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Anonymous .
- October 25, 2009 at 6:00 am #25965
I’m 15 and my boyfriend is 17. I’m a virgin and I plan on losing my virginity to my boyfriend of a couple of years. I love him so much and we are very happy together. We want to start a family. I want a baby and he really wants a baby. I’m scared about having sex though because I’ve never done it before , but i want to make him happy too. Is it best to wait ? And should we have sex ?October 25, 2009 at 6:28 am #25967
Oh I am so glad you are asking this question….LOL…so first off I had a friend who had a baby at a young age, it took her a long time to get back on track but she was stable and doing well when she met a “great guy” She told him that she wanted to wait until marriage before having sex again and at first he seemed ok with that…it did not take too long before he started telling her that he wanted to have a baby with her and make a family together, he said it would take so long to save up for a wedding so they should just forgo that and try for a baby…she was so enraptured with him and wanted to make him happy and she figured they were going to get married someday anyways so why not just have a baby? She was 21-22 at the time, the first time they had sex was in attempts to get pregnant and it didn’t take them long to accomplish their goal….pregnancy is not something that you can “hide” for very long…I saw her crying one day and asked her if she was ok…she broke down and told me that she was pregnant and she was so disappointed in herself, she wanted so bad to have that wedding night experience of the first time being together and all that and that she gave in but that the pregnancy was not an accident…so they get married within a month of her getting pregnant so that no one would know and he leaves her at 8 months pregnant, alone and demands a paternity test…she couldn’t see it but I knew instantly after her sharing her story with me that the reason he “wanted a baby” is because there is only one way to make one…he wanted in her pants and she stated adamantly at the beginning of the relationship that she was going to wait to have sex till marriage so he began to look for the weakness, family…she already had a son and he played on her emotions without thinking that she would actually get pregnant that fast….it was heartbreaking to see her go through all that, my oldest was her flower girl, I was there the night she gave birth to her beautiful daughter and she looks so much like her dad it is scary he still denies her even though paternity has been established and the only reason he is NOW paying support is because the military makes him….honey I know from experience that it is not good to give your virginity away at a young age…purity is sooo important…if this guy really loves you then he will wait for you….if you love someone enough to spend the rest of your life with than you can wait a few years until they are old enough to get married and wait till then to have sex….you have nothing to lose by remaining pure, but there is too much at stake, especially in our current society, to start having sex now, diseases (which can be contracted through oral sex and touching as well) pregnancy, self esteem issues, disappointing your parents, stressing a relationship, complicating your schooling, etc…..I hope that you will find the strength inside to resist the temptation to give in….You really will be better off my remaining pure!! Love MegOctober 25, 2009 at 6:31 am #25969
I’ve never thought about it through this perspective , but thank you. I thought about waiting till marriage ; but we are just so in love. I will talk to him and see how he feels. Thank you for the advice and I hope I can talk to you more about this.October 26, 2009 at 9:36 pm #25978
having a baby is a huge responsibility. and this live affects more than just you and your boyfriend but also both your family. are your parents ready to be grandparents yet? what will their reaction be if they discover you pregnant? are you now ready and capable to provide the best for your baby? I understand how your are feeling and i’m actually glad that you and your boyfriend manage to keep the relationship growing without having it build on sex. this is what love is all about. no matter what, it will never be too late to have baby and start a family if the two of you truely love each other. just like what meg has mentioned: you have nothing to lose. =) be a mother when you are ready to be and welcome a happy baby.
leticia- singaporeNovember 2, 2009 at 2:45 am #26031
This was the very responsible thing to do. Meg pretty much has it covered, haha! Trust me: LISTEN TO HER! She has great advice and is so experienced and wonderful!
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