10 wks pregnant and I havent made my decision yet

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  • #13434
    AvatarKatita29

    Hi Everyone, Im Kat, Im 10 weeks pregnant and I still haven’t made my decision whether to keep my child or not!! I know God put this lil creation inside of me for a purpose but my boyfriend keeps insisting I abort it.

    I’m 19yrs and Peruvian and it’s my 2nd year as a full time college student.I have a very strong christian upbringing but I also have a very open mind about everything. My boyfriend is white 21yrs old police officer. Thing is I know right now it may not be the right time for both of us to have children because i still want to travel and finish a college degree first but I feel in my heart God chose me to be mother at this time for a reason. The thing is my boyfriend’s family are very disrespectful and racist towards blacks and illegal immigrants. ( i know, i should have never been involved with a family like this). They want me to abort and are treating me like crap right now. But they warned me if I keep it they are going to court to get 50% custody and they will try to see it as much as possible. I really want to keep my child but I don’t want my child to be influenced by such negative people!!! It makes it worst that they want to be in the child’s life if I keep it cuz then I can’t raise her/him fully with my beliefs and Peruvian culture.:(

    Im so frustrated because I don’t want these people in my life anymore but If I keep the child they will have to be for the rest of my life!!! My bf called for an abortion appt. this wed. and i don’t know what to do!!!!! please help im going crazy.

    love Kat

    #13474
    Avatarglitter_baby1105

    hey grl,
    i understand totally where your coming frm, but really think. do you put ur education first and abort the baby or keep the baby. you can finish your degree at anypoint in your life you have like 60 yrs to do it (but i do get the point of doing it now). you could keep the baby and resume collage in about 3 or 4 years even. I just think maybe youll regret it hun if you abort. It is your decision and it does depend on how you and your partner feel, but think really hard about the decision because it is a life changin one.
    gemx

    #13480
    Avatarliza_chula113

    girl, i understand where you are coming from,, but i say you should keep your baby because it is your own! right now it might seem hard for you to keep this child, but in the end you will be thankful god send you a lil angel from heaven, This child will only make you stronger in the end. really girl think about it but dont kill this little one. this little one will be yours to love. right now the daddys parents might be telling you all that stuff to really see if you are strong enough to raise a child, you have to prove to them that you can!!!!! girl just keep your baby!!!!! Everything will turn out good. God is here to help everyone of us, and maybe by sending you a little one, he is helping you out!!!!!

    #13481
    Avatarkarliepudd

    Hi i’m Karlie and im 18 yrs old. Im 7 weeks pregnant at the moment and my boyfriend has pushed me into having an abortion. Well he didnt realy give me an option. He did everything in his power to make sure I would get it done.

    I took the first pill yesterday, I have to go into hospital tomorrow to miscarry. I feel so ill and I regret it already. Its actualy hit me that Im in the process of killing my child. I feel so selfish, I just wish I was a stronger person to stand up to all those people who want me to get rid of MY baby. Ive made a mistake which I cant take back, its too late, now I have to live with it for the rest of my life.

    so for all you people who are thinking that an abortion will just be a quick and easy way to return to normal, it isnt! DONT make a quick decision, take your time and think about it. At the end of the day its upto YOU and only you. If you rush things you will have to live with it for the rest of your life.

    This is the worst time of my life and my boyfriend doesnt realy understand what im going through. Thats not his fault because he just has a one track mind, and that all about himself. This situation that im in has made me realise who actualy cares. Its crazy that something so hard like this shows the true colours of loved ones, that you think are everything, when realy thier not. I dont need my boyfriend and his views have made me this way. A part of me hates him when i look at him now and i dont think i will ever beable to change that. My mums my rock at the moment, if it wasnt for her i dont think i could be as strong as i am.

    Karlie x 🙁

    #13487
    AvatarAnonymous

    Keep you baby, your boyfriend’s family is being contradictory. They say you should kill the kid, and at the same time they say if you keep the baby they want it. Have you told your own family yet? They should know so they have the chance to support you and the new relative you are pregnant with. You will be in my prayers. Good luck.
    Teresa

    #13490
    AvatarBabygurl801d

    i think everyone gets placed with a huge desision at one point or anothor, what you do is up to you. if your family dis agrees with you keeping your child i think they are wrong especially because they are strong christians, my family as well came from a strong christian, i was brought up around it, but not everyhting goes right in your life, but our family has stuck together. i am 16 an dpregnant and keeping my child, now my situation isnt as bad as yours expecially if your boyfriends family is the way they are. they shouldnt be saying what they are to you.. and whatever they say or do, just get your stuff together. this isnt about them this is about you your feelings, and yours and your boyfriends relationship. talk to him about it all… whatever you decide hold your head up and keep going forward. everything does happen for a reason…

    #13493
    AvatarAnonymous

    I just wanted to let you know as being someone who has had an abortion. I did not think I would feel the way I did, or go through as much pain as I did. it took me years to get over it and still it never completely goes away. Everytime I would see a baby, the tears would well up and I would feel so ashamed of what I did. No education or boyfriend is worth what it does to your heart and mind. you will see that none of that will matter to you once you realized what you have done and you will wish you could do anything to take it back.

    my boyfriend at the time promised the world to me if i had the abortion saying we will have kids a year or twolater and never came through. We ended up breaking up years later. The whole experience was a big slap in the face, a reality check as far as realizing what is important and listening to my heart, which I did not do!!! my boyfriend bullied me into it at that time and i as you thought it was better to have an abortion than to deal with his negative ways or for the baby to grow up with just his mother. but i would have rather had the baby and dealt with that than to not any day.

    everyday your baby grows so fast , it is so amazing. you will never regret seeing your baby’s little face.or feeling her kick-never!

    somtimes things happen i our lives that we dont think are good at the time but little do you know that this child you are carrying has a purpose and is here for a reason whether you believe that or not. i just hope you dont make the same mistake i did. i dissapointed myself and God. You never get over that part. to think what would he or she have been or looked like? it is just heartbreaking after the fact.

    seven years later and married- last year i was pregnant with twins but miscarried and i felt i was being punished! i just felt that, that is what i get for messing with a life God gave me. it was so painful and even though i dont believe God punishes in that way, it felt like it. the same horrible feeling came back. we dont know what the future holds, so cherish the baby you have now.

    just pray about this and go with your heart and not with what anyone else says! there is so much help out there for you!you can do this.

    Post edited by: acas, at: 2006/11/29 17:38

    #13499
    AvatarqueenB

    Karlie,
    My name is April and I help moderate the forums on Stand Up Girl. I was moved by what you wrote.

    There have been cases in which women took the first set of pills but changed their mind and decided not to carry through with the second trip to the doctor (the miacarriage as you referred to it). They went on to deliever perfect, healthy babies – no birth defects. I am no doctor, but you may still have hope.

    When you see the doctor tomorrow, tell him or her that you do not want to continue with this treatment. Instead ask for an ultrasound. That way they will be able to tell whether or not your baby’s heart is still beating. I feel very certain that the doctor will try to pursuade you to continue with treatment, but make sure you get that ultrasound before you do anything else. Don’t loose hope. There may sill be time.

    We are praying for you right now.

    April

    #13570
    Avataremilyrose

    Dear Kat,

    I think it is wonderful that you care so much about your baby! We are the same age and I cannot tell you how much my heart goes out to you and your little one right now. For your sake and for the sake of YOUR CHILD, please don’t have an abortion. Any differences you may have with your boyfriend’s family can’t even compare to how you will feel if let them talk you into killing your baby. You have the right idea about everything–you only want the best for your baby!! I totally respect the fact that you want to raise your child in your culture and so should they–and if they don’t, forget them. You just have to trust that God has a plan for the both of you and that somehow, everything is going to be ok. Remember that God never gives us anything we can’t handle. He has given you the miracle of a new human life!! Cherish, love, and protect it!

    Good luck, girl! I am here if you ever need to talk! I will be praying for you and your little one!

    Emily 😉

    #13589
    AvatarAnonymous

    i´ve also experienced abortion, i´ve been through all of this too… 19 years ago… and it hasn´t still left my mind or stopped hurting every time i think of it… i´m 37 now, happily married to a perfect man, one perfect 2 year old baby and another perfect little one on the way and whenever i remember about my past i really feel unworthy of such happiness. i had two miscarriages which i also feel were part of my punishment and just last night i dreamed of the man who got me pregnant at 18 and forced me to have an abortion. i saw myself almost killing the man… I´ve also seen in my dreams my three boys, the one I killed and the other two babies that i couldn´t keep… all of them smiling at me… Girls i know what it is like and i beg you not to do it. dont mess your life, dont rot your soul, it will never heal. girls be strong, don´t let anyone take decisions for you. pray a lot, cry a lot, ask for help, but don´t kill your baby. now i know its a miracle you are carrying inside your womb, this miracle has a soul and this soul will NEVER leave you, even if you kill him, because this baby really LOVES you and this is the only true love you´ll ever know. I BEG YOU to keep this love by your side for the rest of your life, now i know because i´ve traveled the road, a hard and painful road…girls, TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR DESTINY, of your OWN life, have faith in yourself, now that i´m a mother i feel we are blessed creatures, feel confident about it and have faith in God, He will never leave a miracle unfinished…

    #13591
    Avatarmelanie1989

    Wow. I thought I was the onyl one in this situation. I am 17 and am about 15 weeks pregnant. I love this baby inside of me with all my heart, but the dad is being such a pricka bout it. He is treating this like its a pet or something. His girlfriend is telling me how she is going to be its stepmom (trying to hurt me by telling me she will be the mom) and its so hurtful. He is telling me that he is going to come and get this baby when ever he feels like it because he is paying child support. so what? I am going to b e paying for way more then just the 100 or 200 he will pay a month. I will also be carrying this baby and for the first year it cant be iwthout its mother. Im scared. But we are going to fight back. And so can you. get evidence that his family is not stable and would not give this child a fair upbringing. I am so scared for my baby to go in the hands of my ex, he wont treat it the way a child needs to be treated.

    #13611
    AvatarAnonymous

    Hi Kat,

    "God chose me to be mother at this time for a reason." What you said in your post really touched my heart. You are so right! Nothing can come between the plan the Lord has for your life. This baby is the greatest gift God can give you. Motherhood is priceless.
    Sometimes the heart cannot interpret and express what to do on it’s own when there is interference. "Human life is a gift of God … and the meaning of life is found in the giving and receiving of love."

    I pray to God through the help of the Holy Spirit to intercede for you. The decision you make today is what you will live with the rest of your life.

    God’s love and prayers,
    Sheila

    #13613
    AvatarAnonymous

    Kat–
    Don’t get an abortion! I understand that it will be hard to raise a child and balance school, but you can always go back to school. If you really feel that now isn’t the time for you to be a mom, then consider adoption. So many people are looking to find additions to their families. I also urge you to seriously consider your relationship with your boyfriend. He clearly isn’t supportive of your Christian values (which you should hold tightly to), and this relationship is a far cry from a partnership. The fact that he made an appointment for you is a HUGE red flag. Did he consider your feelings? All things are possible through Christ…even raising a child by your self. Have you told your family about your pregnancy yet? I’ll keep you and your baby in my prayers.

    #13624
    Avatarkez_mummy_2_skye

    He is a police officer and is demanding you get an abortion! hunny, if you dont want this DONT do it! I hate it when people tell others to abort and its not even what they want. Just think this 10wk old baby has a brain now and has arms and legs growing…i was amazed to see this baby of mine at 9wks and how formed it was…

    #13629
    AvatarMiere

    hello. couldn’t help speaking up on this topic. it’s very sad that your boyfriend’s family is so disagreeable but the bottom line is you should NOT make such a decision based merely on that fact. your botfriend has obviously made his choice to be with you regardless of his family’s preferences and that’s all that should matter b/c you are not dating his family. now whether the timing is perfect or not is irrelevant b/c if you truly love each other and you two would have had children later, you would still be faced with the same situation. although what he wants IS important b/c you made the child together, it’s your body and ultimately your burden if you go through with a forced abortion that is not your choice as well. he could never understand the tremendous feelings of guilt & uncertainty that can accompany such a traumatic decision. i’ve been there and can attest, that it is not a choice to be taken (or made) lightly. if you do decide to have the child, don’t fret about his family. they would have no right (or grounds) to take you to court or anything. no judge would force a parent and child to interact with the partner’s family members who have displayed blatant & wanton prejudice. they are just saying that to scare you and discourage you from having the child. well, i wish you the best making your decision and God bless you. ~Miere~

    #13642
    AvatarAnonymous

    :sick: i really feel sick about this.. its a life.. im not trying to sound insensitive, but if you are questining this at all you have to keep this baby… God doesnt make mistakes, this is blood of your blood. I dont think you should think about education or his family or any of that.. its a life.. and you need need need to keep its ALIVE.. i hope you know its coming from christian love and support.. i hope you hear me out.. love chelsea….:blush:

    #13712
    AvatarAnonymous

    Hi Kat.
    through my own experiences, if you can afford to care for your baby, if you have the support of your OWN family, and if you believe you are mature enough to hadle the responsibility of raising a child, i say go for it. If you do not wish to have your boyfriends family in your childs life you dont have to. it is YOUR baby. i know what you mean by influences, and being the mom, you can chose who is a part of your baby’s life. be sure to make the descision for yourself, and for your own family. dont miss out on a beautiful baby boy or girl because of your boyfriends family. we all support you in whatever decision you make. as long as you did it for YOU. best of luck!
    brianna

    #13718
    Avatarohsotrue

    Dear Kat,
    I PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE beg of you to NOT have an abortion. Even if you carry the baby and put the child in an adoption agency, that would be a much better option than completely aborting the child. I first joined this site not because I was pregnant, but to research more information on tramatic situations of abortions. The results I’ve found we’re completely devastating. (Actually, I’m dreading presenting this essay tomorrow in class because I’m afraid I will break down…again.) Many people frown upon the thought of an adoption agency, but if you are not ready to become a mother, please just don’t give up on this child. I know I have no place to tell you your actions, but the physical and mental pain with an abortion is horrifying.
    Also, it sounds as if the parents are only using this child to get back at you. I am extemely sorry. Please, please, please, make a strong decision and make sure you know all the details and have researched the topic. I am pleased that you keep with your religious faith. Best of luck on your choice and be strong no matter what.

    Best of wishes,
    oh*so*true

    #13738
    Avatarxxbabiigrl692009xx

    dont listen toyour boyfriend if he loves u he will support any dission you make trust me ive been there in done that n it was the worst mistake of my life…i think about it everyday n i juss wanna cry when i think about it my parents talked me into it because i was white n the boii i got preg. by was black…anyways trust me on this one you dont want to do this it….im 16 now almost 17 and im 9weeks n 4 days preg. today n i wouldnt give this up for nothing in the world…….

    Megan

    #13771
    AvatarHermia2012

    hey girl dont let them push you around!!! you want to keep your baby then keep it. just dont get an abortion. there are other options like adoption. if you dont want to keep it put it up for adoption. but if you want it then be proud and stand up for your rights and keep it and dont let them influence your decision.

    #13831
    Avatarmotherof3

    Hello, your education can be continued and you don’t have to wait you can take care of your baby and do everything you need to do to suceed for your baby. I can account I got pregnant when I was 16. I graduated from high school, overcame an abusive relationship with the father and now I’m getting an online degree. DON’T Ever feel bad for getting pregnant there are over 3thousand teens who give birth each year and with the support systems that are in place ,there are homes who will give you and your baby a place to live and help you get your education. This is just a test to make you an overcomer of hard circumstances. Even if you do not want to keep your baby there is a mother out there who decided to have an abortion and it messed thier body up so maybe now they can not have children, would love a second chance at having a baby so whether or not you chose to or not believe me I’m not promising a easy road, but I do know whatever choice you can make it with GOD on your side…..

    #17226
    AvatarRonnieBo

    I kinda know how you feel.I was raped by my dad and had a boy who i love very much. It was decided that im not fit to take care of him yet and right now he is bieng taken care of by my grandmother.She belives the rape was all my fault and I know with me so far away she might say some mean things about me to him.I might not get to see him again till he is 4 or 5 and who knows what she might say but I still think keeping him was the right decision.It might be hard knowing that people are giving your child views you dont agree on but if you love him enough and teach him your about your culture and views he might turn out the way you want him to.I say might because with kids its hard to guarantee how they will turn out because of influences from the media and freinds. Somethings you could do when the baby is older are community service and other things to get him melping people.But the decision of what he/she believes will ultimately be up to it.But whatever you choose I hope it turns out okay.Email me to talk.Good luck.

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