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I need someones help

  • Kinda
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12 years 4 months ago #1 by Kinda
Kinda replied the topic: Re:scared
Hello Kristin!

I was also 20yrs. old when I became pregnant with my first child...I was in a bad situation, still in college...my boyfriend was very controlling (abusive). But I thought that I was in love! I told him and he told me that I would have to get an abortion...I didn't want to get an abortion...But he promised me he would marry me if I did! So I being naive...did! It was the worst thing I have ever done! And of course, he lied and left me right after he dropped me off from the abortion! I am now 32yrs. and a mother of two children...I am so thankful for them, they are a gift! I didn't know then what I know now, but there are Crisis Pregnancy Centers available or Women's Resource Centers...they are free of charge! They will do a pregnancy test for free and let you know what options are available...stay away from Planned Parenthood or Family Planning Clinics, these clinics are the ones that perform abortions and don't present the truth on pregnancies. The fact is if you are pregnant you do have a little living human being inside of you, that is dependant on you for their life...oxygen, blood, food, and protection. A Crisis Pregnancy Center will help you by offering you counseling etc...and presenting you the truth about being pregnant. I hope that you will consider the options available and not be like me and abort your child...it is a hard thing to live with and although I was able to put it out of my mind for many years, the fact of the matter is that when I finally decided to settle down and get married and have a family when I became pregnant with our first child I could no longer run from what I had done at 20...I saw all the stages of pregnancy and new that there was a child in me, not a blob! I suffered with problems in my pregnancies from having an abortion and I now suffer with depression...there are many things that they don't tell you about abortion!! There are options such as adoption, or keeping your baby, and the Crisis Centers are there to direct in making a good decision based on your situation...Good Luck!

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  • CW
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12 years 4 months ago #2 by CW
CW replied the topic: Re:scared
I have been in your shoes. I was 19 when I got pregnant and it was the scariest moment of my life. I put off taking a test for a whole month - knowing it was going to be positive. My suggestion would be to go ahead and take it so you can begin the prenatal care you and the baby need. Have a friend there with you that supports you. Having your best friend there can help you alot!

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  • Bella
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12 years 4 months ago #3 by Bella
Bella replied the topic: Re:I need someones help
If two tests came up positive its pretty certain that you are pregnant. You could take one more to be sure.
Just try to hang in there, you're not alone. This happens to lots of girls. I got pregnant when I was 16 and had an abortion. I thought it would solve all my problems and it gave me problems I had never even thought of. I started drinking heavily almost daily to kill the pain after I had the abortion.
You should talk to your parents or counselor to get more advice.

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  • Barbara
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12 years 4 months ago #4 by Barbara
Barbara replied the topic: Re:scared
Hey Kristin (and anyone else who's pregnant and scared!),
Just wanted to give you a word of encouragement. You know the saying, \"Hindsight is 20/20?\" Well, since you asked for advice, I'll give you the benefit of my experience as a formerly unwed teenage mother. I was 17 and scared to death. My bf didn't want the baby. I didn't wanna tell my parents knowing they would totally freak out. So I went to Planned Parenthood. Well, I WAS pregnant and just started crying right there. A counselor took me in a room and told me I was too smart to have a baby at this age. I had my whole life in front of me, my parents would be so disappointed, and I wouldn't be able to finish school (it was the summer b4 my senior year). She went on and on and everything she said was really true. Then she told me I could easily take care of the problem, and they could do it the following Tuesday. That was my easy way out - an abortion. My bf was all for it and scrambled to get the money. But all weekend I had this nagging feeling and I finally realized I couldn't go through with it! I told my mom, and she went ballistic. Later my Dad came home (drunk - so I should have waited till the next morning, but didn't)... he also went ballistic and called me every name in the book. The next day my parents told me my choices were either to have an abortion or go live with my aunt and adopt the baby. But I figured out a third choice. I ran away with my bf, got married, and had the baby. My senior year, I finished my course work and got my diploma. Things were really difficult with my parents for awhile. But when my son was born, they became pretty good grandparents, and our relationship mended. The marriage didn't work out, and I had to live with my parents for awhile. I saved money - worked and took some classes... my mom babysat my son. I could have continued like that and eventually had a good job teaching or sticking with the job I had fallen into = a librarian in the law division of a major oil company (premium benefits). But I met a really responsible, loving, well rounded man who liked my son - I fell in love, and after three years of dating, we married when my son was six. We've been married 23 years now, and have two more children (girls). Most of the 23 years have been great, but I think at about the seven year mark we \"fell out of love\" and considered divorce. But we worked it out, and I am so happy we stuck with it! Now I know love is a choice - not a feeling. So I chose to have my crisis baby, and he's 30 now and called me on Mother's Day... he's planting flowers and working in the yard today! Raising him was tough sometimes, but so worth it. I tried to give my kids the best of my self. Growing up with alcoholic parents gave me incentive to do better by my kids. And that made ME a better person.
I've had three friends and one sister have abortions. All four had medical problems (one ended up in ER the day after her abortion with a massive infection... they didn't get all the baby out! My sister's uterus was punctured. Neither could get pregnant later when they wanted to, and my sister got breast cancer (1st person in family to ever have cancer) and had a double mastectomy (now research is showing that abortions are linked to breast cancer....funny - the AMA is squelching that info, but it can be verified.) ALL four still deeply regret their abortions! They still think about their children all the time and wonder what they would be like today.
Some pregnancy tests are better than others for early detection.... just read the box or ask a pharmacist to help you. And if its negative, wait a week or few days and test again. Crisis pregnancy centers are very good about hooking you up with all kinds of help and resources!
I'll pray for you Kristin! I hope you choose life. Adoption is a loving option and may be the best thing for your situation. My niece gave her child up for adoption, (open) and still gets a Christmas card with pictures and stories every year....its been 10 years. My sister adopted two kids (the one who had an abortion) and I can't imagine our family without those precious two!

With love and prayers,
Barbara

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  • Kristin
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12 years 4 months ago #5 by Kristin
Kristin replied the topic: scared
Hi everyone,

This is my first time on this site. My name is Kristin and I'm 20 yrs old. I saw this site through a search on yahoo and thought I'd give it a try. I'm very scared right now....I'm not really sure whether I'm pregnant or not. I' ve looked up some of the signs and some of them I have and some of them I don't. As of today my period is 4 days late....I know I should take a pregnancy test....I haven't yet because to tell you the truth I'm too scared. My situation is a bit complicated and I honestly don't know what to do or who to turn to. ( I guess I should say complicated to me....I know I made that sound like I'm in some dire sitution.) So, any help would be greatly appreciated.

Kristin

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  • jessica
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12 years 4 months ago #6 by jessica
jessica replied the topic: Re:I need someones help
i'm just gonna tell you.... i'am now 20 yrs old....i have TWO kids...1.... and 3....do the math. i had my first daughter at age 16....i ended up getting married....he did not love our child...i divorced him...for all the right reasons. my parents were incredible....they helped me out so much.....i ended up getting engaged a while later...we split up. one night...he came over...and OOPS.. crap! big problem.....i now have two daughters.... i had no money and noone to help...i had looked in to adoption...i wanted my children to have what i could not give them....i talked to my parents about it...and we all decided it would be best to give them the girls....i still suffer to this day..i miss them more than anything....i always wanted to be the perfect mother...i. felt like a failure...then i realized i am not a failure....i gave them the most important thing...A \"mommy and a Daddy\" they are beautiful and happy....i still see them all the time...they call me mommy as well as my mom....they do not know their fathers...because the dads abandoned them...and don't want anything to do with them..

In my opinion you more than likely are pregnant. you need to talk to your parents...no screamin no shouting...whats done is done...now you all need to figure out what is best for this Baby...not for you...or for yours, or the fathers parents....For this CHILD..who did not choose to come into this world....Help this baby..... i'll think of you and your child always.... love ....faith.

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