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Is it wrong?

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6 years 5 months ago #1 by rdsd42
rdsd42 replied the topic: Re: Is it wrong?
No it isnt wrong. Perhaps the better question is why do you want this baby?Is there really something else missing in your life? If it is love that you want a baby wont provide that for you...yes the baby will love you But you shouldnt be having a baby because you want it or because you want love or someone to give it to you. You need to love yourself first. Get a good couselor and figure out what it is you really want. What you think you want at your age is alot different even in a few years, trust me I know.
So many women are havin babies much later in life. Women can have babies well into their 40s even. By waiting you give yourself a chance to live and experience life. There is so much life to live out there and enjoy. Plus being older with and education and good job and security equals a better quality lifestyle for you and your baby.I m not saying you cant be young and be a good mom, but it will be alot harder. If I would have had a baby when I was young in my 20s itwould have ben a huge struggle, I wouldnt be where I am today in life. Now I am in a much better position to be a mom...take your time you have alot of it.

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6 years 6 months ago #2 by Yesterday
Yesterday replied the topic: Re: Is it wrong?
Of course it's not wrong! It's ok to want that, a child, a family. I think it's important to think of what's best for you and your family, not only now, but in the future as well. What will be best for you a few years from now? This is a decision that only you can make. I know that when I was 17 there was no way that I could have ever been brave enough to take on the demands of a baby/child of my own. And now (I am 23 and almost done graduate school), looking back I am happy I waited because I am 100% sure, without a doubt in my mind, that I would be ready, emotionally and financially, to start a family of my own. Your time will come, just know that. And whether it happens now or a couple years from now, in the long run, when you're 50 years old, won't make that much of a difference as long as you are, without a doubt, financially independent and most importantly, emotionally ready - which doesn't refer to how much you want a baby, but to how you will change your life to put someone else first, always, before your own needs - I know that I wasn't when I was 17. But only you know what's best for you :)

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6 years 6 months ago #3 by meganelizabeth44
meganelizabeth44 replied the topic: Re: Is it wrong?
I am not trying to be offensive or anyting, but I am not of the Christian or Catholic faith and my beliefs are not the same as yours. My faith lies elsewhere, and I don't subscribe to any one religion, really. However I have read the bible and I just don't believe in many of the things within it. That's just my personal preference though, and it's great that you are so solid in your faith.

Your concern is sweet, but my beliefs are different, and that's just the way it is I suppose.

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6 years 6 months ago #4 by Lifesong
Lifesong replied the topic: Re: Is it wrong?
Meganelizabeth, God created us women with a desire to love, to respond & to nurture. However, He also has given us boundaries for how & when we are to express our love. Did you know that sexual intimacy is forbidden outside of marriage? The Bible warns that no sexually immoral person has any inheritance in the kingdom of heaven. (Look at Ephesians 5:5) Honey, this means that having sex with someone you are not married to is a serious sin & God requires you to stop your sexual relationship with your boyfriend. I know that seems hard, Megan, but you can trust that God knows exactly how we are to live because He is your Designer, Creator & He sustains your life.

Psalm 127:3 says: "Children are a gift of the Lord." Megan, if you ARE pregnant, your baby is a gift from God to you. And, I am very thankful that you want to love your baby. However, God requires that you repent (confess your sin & turn away from it) & trust in Him. The only way that you can be forgiven & made right with God is to have your sins covered by Jesus Christ, who shed His blood to provide an atonement for sin. If you are pregnant, your little one will need a godly mommy. Please let me know if you have any questions, sweetheart.

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6 years 6 months ago #5 by meganelizabeth44
meganelizabeth44 replied the topic: Re: Is it wrong?
It's not at all wrong to feel that way.
I'm in a similar situation right now, and my fiance and I are trying for a baby, he's 18 and I'm 17.

There are a lot of things to think bout when it comes to deciding to start a family. You ave to think about what you want now and in the future and what you think you want to accomplish and/or do. This 9/10 times don't happened the way you planned, but I find that often they turn out to be even better than you hoped.

However, like seedsofhope said, you need to think about in the future what you will be doing when your child starts school, and as they get older. What a lot of people don't realize is the baby stage is the easiest. They want things, develop favourites, interests, dislikes and etc as they get older. I personally believe that you are never ready enough to have a child, but that it's a learning experience. There are certain things you need to think about beforeand though, and it takes a lot of thought and discussion between you AND your signifigant other to decide what you feel is right for you as a couple, and ultimately as a family.

You also have to keep in mind that things change constantly, and life does not stick to your plan. Even though I agree that you don't have to be 'financially secure' to have a baby or start a family (I personally believe there is no such thing as financial security because you never have 'enough' money unless you're a millionaire 10 fold.), I do think that talking with you SO and going into depth about you possible future together would be a good idea. That's what Kyle and I did, and we're both on the same page about everything and know what we want and what is achievable.

I wish you lots of luck, and I believe it is up to you guys if you believe it is right and agree together that it is best and you recognize your responsibilities, and what you need to do to get what you want.

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6 years 6 months ago #6 by seedsofhope
seedsofhope replied the topic: Re: Is it wrong?
Well, I can tell you that it's not uncommon to want a baby at your age, And it's not necessarily wrong to want one either.. but I know from experience that having a baby at 17/18 years old is hard. It's a lot harder than you might think. And the really hard part isn't when you are 17 or 18.. it's when your child gets older and you are still young.

I was two months shy of turning 18 when I had my first daughter. The first few months weren't terribly *difficult* as she was a baby. She really didn't do much or require more than a dry diaper, warm place to sleep and a full tummy. It was as she got older that it became increasingly difficult.

When your child turns 5 and you want to buy them everything because you love them so much, you most likely won't be able to because you'll only be 22-23 and just getting on your feet. If you are still in school and plan to go to college, that is a big time commitment.

When your child is 9 or 10 and you want to enroll them in sports activities, it will be hard because you will probably have to work a lot and you'll be missing games 'n stuff.

I'm not the type of person who thinks only about money and that you have to be financially secure to have kids, but I have seen and LIVED it myself. I'm now 35 and have added more children in the mix and I can tell you with certainty that it is a much different scenario being a mom at 17 than at 27. My two oldest kids are almost 10 years apart.

t 17 I thought I knew who I was , where I was going and what I was going to do with my life. Turns out, none of that happened.

My advice is to wait 1.) until you are married to have children (or sex for that matter). For whatever reason, it IS a different experience (better :blush: B) ) when you are married. and 2.) wait until you are where you want to be in your life before bringing a child into chaos. It is manageable, of course, but there are a lot of hard times being a parent so young.

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