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Should I have? Please help!!!!

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8 years 2 weeks ago #1 by Twiggy3
Twiggy3 replied the topic: Re:Should I have? Please help!!!!
haven't met him face to face, but I talk to him, it's Acey Slade, from The Murderdolls, Amen, Dope, Traslight Vision...etc...ha ha
Why thank you, I try to keep my head up, and I get it, somedays I struggle just to breathe, and others I run a marathon without falling. I am glad to,I never came on here to find a friends, but I seem to have found one.

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8 years 2 weeks ago #2 by Meg11
Meg11 replied the topic: Re:Should I have? Please help!!!!
So who is this famous musician you met? Now I am dying to know....I know what you mean about the self destructive pattern of "if I say I wont do it then I will just to prove I am a mess up" that was the story of my life for so long...you know what though, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and things will work out for you, it is always best to work on the most urgent and important thing, the priority, mine change from time to time but this season my priorities are to keep the house sanitary, not perfectly clean but livable and not yell at my kids...LOL...some days that is all I am capable of, other days I am super woman and I crochet blankets for single teen moms and drop them at the hospital, make meals for sick friends, clean my house and someone elses and make a 5 course meal with a smile on my face....I cannot hold myself to that standard though otherwise I will fail big time...LOL...anyways I am so glad we have had this conversation going and I hope that we will continue to keep each other strong...Love Meg

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8 years 2 weeks ago #3 by Twiggy3
Twiggy3 replied the topic: Re:Should I have? Please help!!!!
congrats!!! yeah drugs were a big big downfall to me, it's been really hard and I almost failed but I have certain people i turned to recently that kept me strong. I am inspired, one of my idols, musically, and in other parts of my life, has been sober 11 years, and I can talk to him. i am so fortunate, to be able to talk to someone I admired that is hanging on my walls and is in quite a few of my favorite bands.
I understand what you're saying, but for me, I try and mess things up, so if I promise myself no sex, I will probably try to have sex just to mess up. Plus If I make a promise to myself and then break it, then I will feel bad. Instead of swearing, i will just take it if it comes, if we dont have sex, we don't have sex, if we do, we do. No pressures, or worrying about if I am following my promise. That and I believe in everything happens for a reason, every choice, every even affects you for a reason. The only promise i can hold myself to is staying clean and that is hard enough.
I know that as far as diseases go, we don't have to worry, we know where we have been and that we're clean. As far as pregnancy, it goes along with everything happens for a reason, it just scared me a little because we weren't in a relationship. This guy and I are friends and we have a lot in common as it is, we always have things to talk about. I am just not worried about trying to follow an ideal im not sure I would want to. But I am proud that you could.

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8 years 2 weeks ago #4 by Meg11
Meg11 replied the topic: Re:Should I have? Please help!!!!
That is awesome, I am also in my 5th year of being clean and sober, I used to use all kinds of drugs and yeah, you have to do things one day at a time...you can never fully know the future but there are certain things that you can set in place to help prevent certain things in your future....I mean you can live your life perfectly and make all kinds of plans then get in an horrid accident or be attacked and permanently injured and such, you cannot know or prevent something like that but you can protect yourself from self inflicted set backs such as premarital sex, that can prevent you from disease and pregnancy...now being raped is another subject but like I said that is not a self inflicted set back that will change your plans...I know what you mean about when you see him you will know if your relationship will be furthered...I just hope that if it is that the two of you can get off to a better start, a fresh clean slate and find something in each other that is worth waiting for, it adds so much more excitement to the relationship when you know that you wont have sex, you seek to know more about the other person, the deeper things, you are free to explore the others mind and not just default to have sex out of lack of things to talk about or do...LOL....

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8 years 2 weeks ago #5 by Twiggy3
Twiggy3 replied the topic: Re:Should I have? Please help!!!!
Wow, I am glad you came out ok and found someone to really care for you. I am not sure about the sex thing, I am just a, i'll sit back and see what happens. I am 20 and just living for one day, I learned for a long time not to worry yourself with the future it is uncertain. in Feb I am coing up on my fifth year of sobriety so i really only live for one day, but I think you're right about letting him come to me. I haven't even physically seen him since we slept together, but I know I will see him at my friends house. I think that when we see each other again I will know if our relationship will be furthered.

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8 years 2 weeks ago #6 by Meg11
Meg11 replied the topic: Re:Should I have? Please help!!!!
I agree, with my past experience with guys I have never been with someone who would call me and let me know that there is a risk that I could be pregnant, he could have never told you and then let you freak out on your own, or just leave you to wonder...as for the purity, yeah I mean not having sex...let me share why...I lost my virginity at 13 and continued to have sex for years with lots of guys, by the time I was 22 I was pregnant with my second child from a second dad...I was done messing around, I wanted someone to love me for me, prove that they would stand by my side and expect nothing in return other than my love and friendship...I found that in my husband....we did not have sex until our wedding night, I didn't think that it was really possible, especially in the world today where everything out there seems to be about sex...I thought only perfect church girls were the ones who waited to have sex and then they would be settling for boring passionless sex...so not true...waiting till my wedding night made things MORE passionate, more fun, anything but boring and I knew he would be there the next day, he loved me enough to sign the dotted line and commit to me for life before he "got the goods"...LOL...it didn't matter to him what I looked like under my dress, I could have had burns, scars, 3 nipples, blotchy skin, tons of body hair, one breast, you name it, (I have a very creative imagination..LOL) none of it mattered to him, he cared more about the inside, my heart, my mind, the rest was a bonus...it was so worth it, I know both roads, I know promiscuous sex, I know the live in boyfriend situation, I know random one night stand sex and now I know the committed, patient wait till your wedding night sex and I vote for the waiting for marriage sex, the fear of pregnancy is not as strong, the self conscious issues are minimal, the trust is HUGE and STRONG, the jealousy issues are about non existent, he waited for me till my wedding night why would he wander, there are just so many pros and hardly a con in sight where as sex before marriage, especially random promiscuous sex has way more cons than pros....anyways my life is an open book and I am here to answer any questions you have and I think you are wise to hold off a little bit, let him come to you, if he cares about you he will, then talk with him and see if he wants to start on a clean slate with you and wait to have sex....Love Meg

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