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a mixture of curiosity and fear

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9 years 2 months ago #1 by kafina18
kafina18 replied the topic: Re:a mixture of curiosity and fear
ok so let me start off by saying congrats and babies are a blessing not a curse and i really wish you would keep it cause it might seem like things are going to be bad if you have a baby but the guilt of having an abortion is so much worse, i mean i dotn know from experience but i've read the stories of some girls on here, but its your decision and hopefully with alot of research you would do whats best for you.

ok so i know how it feels to know in the back of your mind that you wouldnt have support from anyone no matter how you try to explain it but i just want you to know im here an di know that other girls are here anytime you feel like you're going to explode from all the stress. i dont know much about canada but maybe you could google crisis pregnancy centre or see if there is a place near you where you can go in and talk to someone privately, have you been to the dr as yet, some are not so nice so i hope you find a very kind and thoughtful one. and things will get hard but dont give up.

maybe you could find a part-time job, noones saying that you cant finish school if you have a baby i know alot of people who have finished and have their beautiful babies with them, i mean it might not be easy and this is the time when you find out who you're true friends are but dont study it anh with the situation with your mum maybe she might get upset but thats just how some parents are, yes she will be disappointed but if you tell her your plan on what you want to do maybe after some time by herself she will see how you really want this to work out and be there for you no matter what.

no matter what you decide im here for you when you need to talk, oh yeah please go to the dr ASAP incase anything is wrong and keep us updated laterz:)

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9 years 3 months ago #2 by starswillshine
starswillshine replied the topic: Re:a mixture of curiosity and fear
Thankyou so much for replying, and I apologise for the late reply myself- We just got back from a camping trip (worst week for family issues ever as my mother finally lost it with my brother and basically had a meltdown, but that's a different matter completely). Unfortunately.... I'm not so sure that I AM going to keep the baby. Most of my friends, if I told them, would act like the stereotypical freak-out friends that you always hear about. "How could you let yourself into that situation?" "Why would you even do that?" "How could you screw up so badly?". So that's already one area of support that would be lacking for my child. Also, my relationship with my mother is complicated, as I'm sure it is for a lot of girls. We've been fighting for years now, and there was a time where we couldn't be in the same room without yelling at eachother, over anything. Trust me when I say that she doesn't have the longest fuse of them all, it really doesn't take a lot to set her off. However, this year, we've been a lot better. We've talked some things over, and we go to eachother a lot of the time for advice, but that's been put in jeopardy several times over the smallest things that SHE considers to be a big deal, and I clearly don't. Given that... I just really don't want to spoil things between my mother and I, especially considering that this is going to be a big year for me. I start grade 12 this year, so it's my last year of highschool, and it won't be too long before I'm going to be going to college and looking for a place of my own, to make my own start at life. I just... I really don't want to leave on bad terms with my mother, because of a mistake that I made. So there's another area where support for my child, would be lacking. And of course, the last area of support is financially... which really isn't good for me right now. As it is, I haven no clue how I'm going to even afford to go to college. My father divorced my mother when I was 5 years old, so until 2001 when I was 9 years old, she was raising my brother and I as a single mum- because of that she hasn't been able to put any money aside for me in terms of education, because all her money WENT to my brother and I anyways. My dad lives in England, while we live here in Canada, and he tries to cut down the money he pays every month as much as he can. I've approached him a few times about the money subject, but he just changes it as soon as her get the chance. I don't want to bring my child into a world where he or she won't get the support she deserves, or where I can't even afford to buy her the diapers, milk, clothes, soothers e.t.c every week. If I'm going to have a child, I want to be able to support her as financially as I possibly can, which for me right now, is not a possible solution. I'm just... ugh. I'm just going through a really rough patch right now. Any help or anything from you girls is really appreciated. Thanks again for replying MissKirsty! -Nicola

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9 years 3 months ago #3 by tragicxtryst
tragicxtryst replied the topic: Re:a mixture of curiosity and fear
Well, obviously everyone's pretty much given you options alreado.
:P

So all I can say is keep us updated. I hope everything works out for the best, darling.

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9 years 3 months ago #4 by baby_girlbs
baby_girlbs replied the topic: Re:a mixture of curiosity and fear
Im a little worried about the cramps....i had a pregnacy where the egg was in my tube.....it hurt so bad i had to go to the hospital ( i dont take pain well) thats where i was told i was pregnant and then i had to have a d&c because it wasnt right...I would def. check it out....But good luck an congrats ! ! ! !

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9 years 3 months ago #5 by MissKirsty
MissKirsty replied the topic: Re:a mixture of curiosity and fear
I'm so sorry to hear about your awkward situation... May I ask if you are going to keep the baby?
About those pains... You really should go to the doctor because if they are that severe and are below your navel, there is a slight chance that the pain could be a symptom of a Ectopic Pregnancy.
From what you said, it doesn't sound like your friends will be very supportive... If you ever need to talk, just come on here! :-) Some times the chat room is on and that's a great way to get and give support. :-)
I hope that everything works out for you, hun! Let us know what happens!
Hugs!

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9 years 3 months ago #6 by starswillshine
starswillshine replied the topic: Re:a mixture of curiosity and fear
okay.... I asked my boyfriend to pick me up a home test because I couldn't get to one, and he did. I also had the perfect chance to take it as well, as we were going to the movies tonight. So I took the test when I got there and... it came out positive. I am in fact pregnant... and I don't think I've been more scared in my life. The strange thing is, although I've had a pregnancy scare before... This time, it's kind of different. Before I was scared out of my mind the whole time until I bought a test... this time, I've been much more... calm? Those pains that I have been having went away for about two days, but they returned yesterday morning more severe than ever. This morning was just as bad, if not worse. As much as I had had hope that I wouldn't be pregnant, that I wouldn't have to go through all of this... I think a part of me kind of knew that I was. Please... any help, or advice, or ANYTHING that you girls can give me... it would really be appreciated at a time like this for me. Thanks girls, Nicola.

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