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What should I do?

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7 years 10 months ago #1 by Evangeline
Evangeline replied the topic: Re:What should I do?
Before I met my current boyfriend I was in a really abusive relationship. It started out verbally and slowly progressed to being physical untill at one point he banged my head against a concrete wall and sexually assaulted me... sure, it wasn't all bad (like Anakie says) but the truth is that no mamn should EVER lift his hands to you no matter how angry he is. If it happens once it'll happen again. You cannot make excuses for him and you shouldn't have to.

I agree with QueenB on this one. How nuch can he really love and respect you if he can cause you pain? I know that it's always easier to look at something from the outside and tell someone what they should or should not be doing... but in the end that decision is 100% yours to make and you need to look into your heart and decide if this is what you and your baby deserves.
I wish you strenght.
Eva

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7 years 10 months ago #2 by anakie
anakie replied the topic: Re:What should I do?
Oh..
my boyfriend is same..
if he gets mad i shut the f up and never talk to him until he's calm and when he gets calm ill talk to him calmly that i dont like what he did and tell him that some is his fault and leave him for awhile and dont talk for awhile..

the sweet part is he'll come to me and tell me that he sorry and try to get my feeling/mood again..

I know some guys dont like girl that loud and fight back to them because there ego?!

I hope this help..
and everyone tells me this if he's hurting u physically leave him..
but they just know the hurting part of our relation but never the sweet part..

I guess our guys our same..

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7 years 10 months ago #3 by mommy_chantay
mommy_chantay replied the topic: Re:What should I do?
I'm sorry to hear that your in a relationship like this, nobody should ever be abused under any circumstances. I practically grew up watching my mom fight with her boyfriend, I can't say getting beat because she fought back. But the saddest thing was when I became involved in the fights. So when I got pregnant with my daughter at 16, I promised myself that I would never fall into a relationship like that. You probably don't want to hear it but the best thing for you and your daughter would be to leave, honestly what is going to happen when the anger turns to your daughter?

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7 years 10 months ago #4 by Letters2rain
Letters2rain replied the topic: Re: What should I do?
awe thank you sooo much. =]
It is hard to even think about not being with him.
But I have thought about it many times and sometimes I wish he'll have a dream where he sees me and his daughter with another man that treats me well and gives us what we need, maybe he would see things differently.
But who knows....

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7 years 10 months ago #5 by queenB
queenB replied the topic: Re: What should I do?
Hey, How are you?

I'm sorry that you are in the relationship where your boyfriend does not treat you like he should. My friend, I feel like no one should EVER have to take abuse from another person. I feel like no person ever deserves to be yelled at, cussed at, pinned to the floor, etc. You deserve treatment far better than what your boyfriend has been giving you. You should be respected by him, loved by him, and honored by him. He should view you as so important and so lovely that he respects your body and he respects you. He should put you on a pedestal.

When he was beating you was he showing you how much he valued and appreciated you? When we date or get married we need to choose someone who brings us up not tears us down.

In dating the most important thing you can remember is that you cannot change a person. The only person you can control is yourself. There is nothing you can do to "make him less aggressive" that is only a change that he can make. You can't control him.

My friend, I know that you love him, but you are not dating a gentleman. You are not dating someone who is worthy to date you. If he REALLY loved you he would not beat you.

The heart is a funny thing and sometimes we love people that are destructive to us. We love people who are bad for us. I know. I've been there. It's really hard but you need to get out of that abusive relationship. No one has the right to treat you that way. Even if he treats you right some of the time or most of the time, that is not good enough. He has to treat you like a princess ALL OF THE TIME because that is what you are and you deserve no less.

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7 years 10 months ago #6 by Letters2rain
Letters2rain created the topic: What should I do?
I told my boyfriend that I gave up being not pregnant
we were joking around and everything and it really pissed him off.

Why is he so mad?! Like I called him and he was like, No watch your damn show because you gave up not being pregnant

I think he took it as I don't like that I'm pregnant by him.
Fact is- I love the fact I have his baby.

And I just said ok, I love you because he was getting so damn pissed off, and he does have his abusive ways, I won't lie. I've been pinned to the floor last summer (I was pregnant) by him and he broke down a damn door that I locked just to get to me. He told me if I really thought about our baby that I would stop fighting back with him, if someone is cussing and yelling at me I yell and cuss back!

And when I was on the phone wiith him to I knew he was as pissed off as he was over the summer.


Ohh, And btw I love him to DEATHHH I would never leave him =[ Some people just have problems in their relationship that they need to work out.

Any advice on how to make him not so aggressive and how to calm him down? :dry:

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