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Has anyone giving a baby up for adoption before?

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8 years 8 months ago #1 by sexy_mama
sexy_mama replied the topic: Re:Has anyone giving a baby up for adoption before?
no cuz i dont have a baby but me and my husband will love to have one cuz we love kids:kiss:

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9 years 1 month ago #2 by hope1day
hope1day replied the topic: Re:Has anyone giving a baby up for adoption before
Hi, my name is Christy and I have not given a baby up for adoption, but my husband and I are starting the process of adopting a child. The only thing I can tell you is that each mother we have met are doing it for that exact reason; giving their child what they can't at this time, and they know they are giving their child a chance at a great, secure life with a couple that will love him/her. I don't know if that helps or not, but I think you are looking out for your child and what is best. You, and all the other wonderful women that are willing to do this act of extreme love for their child, are wonderful people. If you ever want to talk, you can leave me a message in my profile.
Many, Many Blessings,
Christy

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9 years 3 months ago #3 by Meg11
Meg11 replied the topic: Re:Has anyone giving a baby up for adoption before?
I agree with Alexanders mama, If you have love for your child then you will find the resources needed to provide for your child, but it does take more than love to raise a baby, looking back at my first child I thought I needed and was told that I needed certain things that I forced myself to buy, I could have totally gone without half of it, a child needs about a weeks worth of clothes changes per size and there are many second hand stores that will exchange sizes with you, you need a place for baby to sleep whether a pack n play or a crib, you need some blankets enough for about 3-4 changes of bedding, you need diapers and wipes and baby soap, and a car seat.. if need be you can make it with just those things, toys are easy to come across but they are not needs, give a baby some plastic measuring cups and a wooden spoon with some Tupperware and they are occupied for hours, if you breastfeed then that saves the expense of formula and if you are in a low income bracket then you can often get on WIC and get formula for free along with other needs like milk and cheese and juice and eggs and cereal and peanut butter....I think what Alexanders mama was trying to say is that giving your child up for the sole reason of material and financial lack is just depriving yourself of the joy your child will bring you, if you have the love and dedication to make things work then you can and will find a way to supply the \"needs\", if there is a will there is a way, don't sell yourself short of being a good mom just because you cannot afford to buy your child name brand clothes and \"stuff\" that can be lived without, a child with love who has only needs will turn out much happier than a child with no love who has tons of \"stuff\"...hope this helps...Meg

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9 years 3 months ago #4 by alexanders_mama
alexanders_mama replied the topic: Re:Has anyone giving a baby up for adoption before?
jennyandtrouble wrote:

Hey, im not pregnant but i have a 5month old son and im thinking of giving him up for adoption because i want him to have alot more than i can give and i want more of my life before i settle down for a family if i ever do. wud any1 b willin 2 share the expiriences with me. thanks jenny


Sorry, I'm going to go against the general tide here.

Firstly, it would probably not hurt to go see a number of counsellors about this, and see which one seems the most helpful. You see, although you seem to be talking about you wanting him to have a lot more than you can give, I'm not really sure about what that means. Do you mean you don't have enough love to give him? Becuase by gosh if you are talking about financial security, or something along those lines, you seriously need a good donking on the head to readjust your world views. I know there's a lot of people running around saying all these things that you need to do before you have a baby, but honestly, they just have no clue, that's all, and it's pointless listening to them because then you just get depressed. All you baby needs is love.
However, if you cannot give your baby love, then of course we have a serious problem there, and adoption would be your best course of action for the sake of the baby.
Nevertheless, if this is a cry for help, and you don't want to let go of your baby, but are instead having people bully you from all sides and trying to indoctrinate you that you must do certain things in life before you may even consider that you are qualified to start a family....then stand up to them and don't let them push you into it.

So, obviously, in the end, the whole adoption things comes down to YOUR decision. And the reasoning behind it.
Whatever you choose, counselling would be ideal. Adoption or facing pressure from the outside community to adopt out are both incredibly tough issues to face. *hugs*

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9 years 3 months ago #5 by mjlovett
mjlovett replied the topic: Re:Has anyone giving a baby up for adoption before
hi Jenny,

I had my son when i was 18 years old. It was really hard and I missed out on alot of stuff that I wish I hadn't missed out on. I can understand why you feel overwhelmed right now.
As far as adoption, I know someone who adopted a little girl at birth. The birth Mom had been in an abusive relationship and did not want to have any future contact with the abusive ex for any reason. She opted for a \"closed\" adoption where she does not have contact with the adoptive family - she could have but she chose not to. My friend is looking to adopt again so please let me know if you do decide to place your son because I am sure my friend might be interested in meeting you.
Good luck and God bless!
MJ

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9 years 4 months ago #6 by Julie
Julie replied the topic: Re:Has anyone giving a baby up for adoption before
I haven't placed a child for adoption, but I am Mommy to my adopted son. I am friends with his first mother and walked through much of her pregnancy with her. We have the beautiful bond of loving the same child with all our hearts. Choosing adoption was easy for her - she knew she couldn't have an abortion, and she knew she wasn't ready to be the mother she wanted to be. Going through with it was the hard part! But she is glad she did, and we have a really great relationship. There are certainly feelings of loss, but she's expressed her joy in being part of building our family, and seeing her son thriving. She's doing well too, and I think our open relationship helps all of us work through the different emotions we all feel. I'd love to talk about your specific reasons for considering adoption, and offer any insight that I can, and possibly put you in touch with my friend. You can e-mail me at julie@standupgirl.com. It is a tough decision, but I'm sure you'll make the right one.

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