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uh oh....

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10 years 4 months ago #1 by italian scene kids
italian scene kids replied the topic: Re:uh oh....
hey thats so right i never knew if i was doing the right thing about keeping my daugther but i see now that i am and i love her so much but her father i cant so much for he isnt there anymore i live wih him but he has a girlfriend i love i love him to death and i will be my baby comes before any man

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10 years 4 months ago #2 by lisa
lisa replied the topic: Re:uh oh....
Erick is right on!

I'd also like to add this. Think about how your mom wanted you to abort Adyson before. Right? What would she say if you told her that you were going to give her away? What would she say if you told her that, God forbid, something happened to her?

You'd BOTH die of heartache and you'd do all you could to save that childs life. Right?

The child that is inside of you right now ... is no different than Addyson and I guarantee that ... you WILL be overjoyed that you chose life. I hear these words time and time again:

I can't believe I was even thinking about aborting my baby!

Can you imagine life without Adyson? What sort of memories would you NOT have today if you allowed abortion? Can you imagine, if you had chosen abortion, what Adyson would have gone through? Can you imagine what Adyson might say one day if you were to tell her that her baby brother or sister is not here because you chose not to have your second baby?

Please mummy! Look down the road at the lifetime of regret you will have. I promise you ... there is ABOLUTELY NOTHING GOOD about abortion. NOT ONE THING!

But I can think of countless things that abortion is. Painful, wrong, terrible, murder, painful to mummy and final.

So final. No going back and making it better or changing your mind.

Please ... think about that. Your baby is so important ... and so are you.

See - you already have a bunch of us clamering to talk to you. :laugh:

Luv Lisa

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10 years 4 months ago #3 by ericklirios
ericklirios replied the topic: Re:uh oh....
My college theology teacher once taught my class that one way to determine whether a certain decision is God's will for you is whether that decision leaves you with a sense of peace. This isn't even happiness. Peace is knowing that you may be facing a very tough future but you know that this is the right thing.

Another thing: If in doubt, don't. :)

Your mother is understandable. Don't concentrate on how she wanted an abortion with Addyson. Think about how she is with Addyson now. I don't she's crazy about the idea of throwing her grandchild out.

Let's face it, she will be disappointed especially since there is even this question now of who the father is. She may start calling you some four-letter words that really hurt. Honey, part of growing up is knowing how to take these things and being answerable for our actions. Yes, you did goof big time. Grit your teeth and bear it but don't shoot yourself by killing your baby. The thought of shutting your mom up with this by having an abortion is but a momentary \"solution\". It's nothing but a pain-killer which does nothing to cure the real situation. Problem with this so-called solution is that it will always leave a mark on your heart.

I've told other girls this on this site: stand your ground. Show your mother that you are someone to reckon with, a mature enough individual who needs to be listened to. Show that you're capable of being responsible especially to your children.

A word to the wise though: Keep off sex. You've already seen how it has made your life difficult. Trust me, you don't want three children with three different fathers who are all unmarried to you. Please check out Mweber, another member here. She's amazing. She has a story similar to yours but she has chosen against abortion and she is now living a life she is proud of.

Stick to your guns. Stick to your babies. Understand your mother if you want your children to try and understand you when the time comes. Pray a lot. Pray hard. Keep off sex and find a guy who will love your children as if they were his. God is preparing this man for you. Don't rush it. :)

Trust me, honey, You will be fine especially if you walk with God and the angel that He's already given you. Don't throw His angel back in His face.

Erick

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10 years 4 months ago #4 by mummy2addyson
mummy2addyson replied the topic: Re:uh oh....
thanks for your support everyone. and yeah erick you sound like an amazing guy!! its just its so hard... i mean i know my man will support me with whatever i want to do... but its hard. i dont think i can handle two babies on my own. and i know how angry the 37 year old would be if he found out i was keeping it!! PLUS before i found out i was preggo i was drinking like a fish and smoking things i shouldnt be!! and im worried i have damaged the baby already... i would feel bad if i did decide to keep the baby and then have it turn out not healthy because of dumb mistakes i made before i knew... but yeah im seriously tihnking about it now... i just really want to talk to my mum about it but i know she will want me to have an abortion. she wanted me to with addyson and i was with her father at the time and had been for like 4 years. so i dunno... ill keep you guys updated. but the more i talk to people the more i want to keep this child... im just sooooo worried about how i would cope... i have just started back at uni and i had my life all planned out and then this happens... i dunno what to do!

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10 years 4 months ago #5 by SweetTea
SweetTea replied the topic: Re:uh oh....
Hey Mummy2Addison,
My name is Rachel. I read your posting and thought I would reply.

I really think that you should take a step back and really think about things.

Let me tell you a little bit of my story... I got pregnant when I was 16. I never imagined that something like that would happen to me, but it did. My boyfriend at the time didn't know what to do. He freaked out and he suggested that I have an abortion. When everyone at school found out that I was pregnant and everyone knew that he and I were dating, he told everyone that I had been sleeping around and that the baby wasn't his. I was furious of course.

I chose to keep my baby and raise it myself. I can tell you without any doubt in my mind that it was the right decision. Later, he changed his mind and wanted to be involved with me when I was still pregnant. He was around for a while, but then started seeing someone else. When my daughter was born, he came to the hospital for a little while and bought some things for her. He hasn't been consistent in her life at all. And to be honest, dealing with him at times is still tough. But the weird feelings I get when I'm around him are like tiny pebbles compared to the great mountains of love and adoration that I have for my daughter. He comes around mostly at holidays now, and I've accepted the fact that he may always be like that, and you know what? That's okay. If he never does anything more than he's doing now, I can live with that. Because my daughter is happy and healthy and has a chance at life. I am giving her everything I can and doing my best for her. If he never takes that attitude on, that's still okay. When she grows up, she will have a chance at reaching her goals and dreams, and she will know that she was loved and cared for and that she had everything she needed. Some things don't seem \"fair\", but life isn't always fair. The most important thing is that she's getting the chance that she deserves.

I thought that as a single mom, I wouldn't ever meet any guy worth my time. But that wasn't true either. I got married recently to a great guy who loves my daughter so very much. He spoils her rotten! We have so much fun together, and I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am with my life right now.

It sounds to me like the guy you're dating now isn't worth your time either. I don't know the guy, but if he isn't happy with you and won't support you no matter what the outcome is, he probably isn't worth staying around.

No matter how impossible things seem with two kids, or having a baby from your ex, or how unfair things might seem, it will all come together in the end if you just focus now on making the right decisions. The most important people in all of this are YOU and YOUR babies. I promise.

Love,
Rachel

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10 years 5 months ago #6 by lisa
lisa replied the topic: Re:uh oh....
I read your post this morning and I also read Ericks and WOW! What a Stand Up Guy Erick is and he made some EXCELLENT points. It's SO GREAT to hear it from a guys perspective because ... you know what? He's right!

We are spinning our wheels trying to make the guy happy - when in reality ... we live with this decision of abortion for the rest of our lives.

Please re-read your e-mail response to me. You are so sweet you are trying to 'please' everyone around you. But you seem to be forgetting 2 people. YOU and your BABY. If your baby is the child of your boyfriend - you feel like you can handle having a baby ... but if it is the other guys you can't?

But ... but it's YOUR baby. This litte life is inside of you and living and breathing. Can I share a picture with you? It's an amazing photo and read what it says down the right side of the photo:

http://www.pregnantpause.org/develop/minne.htm

This is ONLY at 6 weeks. That little one can suck his/her thumb already. And when a baby sucks their thumb, that is pleasurable for them. Sooooooooooo if they know pleasure ... they also know pain. Abortion is not painless to your baby.

Please please - forget about all the other circumstances around you. Imagine not having the baby that you have right now. I bet you could NOT imagine life without your little one now could you.

The very same thing with that little baby that is inside of you. You have already bonded with your baby ... and you are against abortion for a reason. And for good reason too.

It just takes Standing Up Girl! Remember - death is forever. Life for your baby can be so rewarding ... who cares what the other guy says! He's out of your life ... and he has absolutely NO SAY SO in this matter.

You say that it wouldn't be fair to your baby. Do you really believe that? Do you think that abortion is fair to your baby?

Please please think about this. Abortion for this baby is forever. You can never go back and change your mind.

Please let me know how you are. I will be thinking about you.

Erick - I'd love to hear more from you for Mummy too!

Luv Lisa

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