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If I can't have him

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10 years 8 months ago #1 by i_love_justin
i_love_justin replied the topic: Re:If I can't have him
The reason i think he is going to leave is because i know he's been being drugs again. it's hard to talk to him because i don't know whether he cares or not, most days he does and some days he doesnt. but he just got us a new house, and im going to be moving in over there soon. ive been staying over there, its just hard. i will love my baby girl, but i want him to be around to love her too. how do i express to him how i feel? im just worried he's going to leave.

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10 years 8 months ago #2 by bonny
bonny replied the topic: Re:If I can't have him
heya!! well i dont think u need to worry,
because when that baby is put in ur arms for the
1st time...thats when u will TRUELY understand 'love'
i think you should sit down with ur fiance and just talk to him
about it and tell him how u feel.. explain how ur feeling!
and he obviously wants to be with u if ur engaged so be happy!
and dont worry,just concentrate on u and ur baby for now
and try not to stress to much!! goodluck!! xx

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10 years 8 months ago #3 by kgirlsmith
kgirlsmith replied the topic: Re:If I can't have him
Pantera:

Something in your post struck me...
\"I want to love her, but I feel incapable.

Love is an intereting thing - Love is really a choice we make that comes with lots of emotions attached. So........with that said - You can chose to love your little girl. You can do that in a numbe of way:
-raise her to be a strong woman. Help her to grow up trusting others, making good decisions and being confident in herself.

-find someone to raise her who can do all those things. Your CHOICE to love her can come from actually raising her or chosing someone who is maybe more ready to raise a child. You can pick someone you know or a family who is waiting to adopt a baby girl.

Love...an interesting choice. That choice is all up to you.
Guys..............Love them but wow - we come from different worlds, hugh?

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10 years 8 months ago #4 by Meg11
Meg11 replied the topic: Re:If I can't have him
Hey if you cant talk to him now what makes you think you will be able to when your married??? I have just learned that what ever is difficult before you are married is 10x more difficult after you are married. I got married in Nov. to the only guy I never slept with that I dated. Yep thats right we saved that part for our wedding night. Previously I had been with over 30 guys in 10 yrs and I have 2 children. Two wrongs dont make a right. Please talk to him and make sure you are both on the same page because if there are issues between you and neither of you bring it up it will only hurt your marriage down the road. Also I understand your fear of resenting your child. It is avery real fear and it will pop up at times I wont lie about that but.....the joy that child will bring and the changes that will take place in your heart FAR out way the small visits to resntment land LOL and the times when you do feel resentful only cause you to strive harder to raise your child in a way that will encourage them to make better choices than we have. Please if you need to talk just leave a note in my guest book. My heart goes out to you so much...and ps dont rob yourself any longer of excitement...rub that tummy of yours and smile over the little blessing that dwels in there :) \"For You formed my inward parts;You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works,and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You,when I was made in secret, and skillfuly wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substanance,being yet unformed.And in Your book they all were written,the days fashioned for me,when as yet there were none of them.\" wow what a Creator we have Psalm 139:13-16 My prayers are with you Love Meg

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10 years 8 months ago #5 by bweber
bweber replied the topic: Re:If I can't have him
it sounds more like u need to actually sit down and talk to ur guy about you him and the baby.....don't try and not talk about it just because u feel like he doesn't was the baby....and if he's ur fiance what makes you think he's going to break up with you? if he wants to marry you he has to love you, so be happy. and love this baby no matter what happens!.....i wish you all the luck in the world........

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10 years 8 months ago #6 by i_love_justin
i_love_justin created the topic: If I can't have him
Ok so, I'm almost 7 months pregnant and I'm JUST now starting to get excited. I feel like everytime I'm around my fiance' I want to forget that I'm pregnant, we don't even talk about it alot. I feel like if I don't have him in my life though, that I won't want my baby either. It's hard to be excited about something that I feel like he doesn't want, though he swears he does. I want everything to work out with him but if it doesn't I'm moving back with my parents in Texas. If we do break up for good, and I have this baby, how can I stop myself from resenting her. I want to love her, but I feel incapable. Please leave me any advice and comments you can, I'll check back in a few days. Thanks. -Pantera

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