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  • teachermom
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10 years 11 months ago #1 by teachermom
teachermom replied the topic: Open adoption insight (long)
My husband and I adopted our beautiful son and are in an open relationship with his birthparents. We were lucky enough to get to know them - we traveled to their state before the birth and they allowed us to be in the delivery room. They CHOSE US so they had control over the process. We email each other and I send them pictures all the time (they laugh at how many picutres I take!) They recently told me in an emial how comfortable they are with their decision. We have come to lov ethem and while they live a thousand miles away they know if they ever head our way for a vacation they are welcome to stay withus or visit.

So my stoy goes to tell you that open adoption can work fabulously.

Can I make one suggestion - just based on my experience.

We used an agency for th eadoption of our son. It cost us $32,000.00 - I think that is horrible! Everybody made money on the adoption - and our son's birthparents only recevied aobut $2,000. of that money to help them with bills. Such ashame that so many people make money of of adoption.

We are now wanting to adopt another child - this time we have an attorney and adoption coordinator and are hoping to \"find\" a potential birthmom and to make our own adoption plan. We can offer independent counsleing and will pay for a separate attorney for someone when the time comes. I only mention this because I think it is a better way to go. You can look in your yellow pages under adoption attorneys, or tell a doctor or read the classifieds and YOU CAN FIND a couple yourself and not let an agency charge people like us thousands and thousands of dollars that could be put away for college eduacations, etc.

I wish you peace in your decision. You have a lot of time left to decide. Remember - you have choices. If you decide to parent I wish you strength and happiness and joy in motherhood. If oyu decide on adoption I hope you find a couple that you love and \"click with\".

Sorry this is so long!!!\


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10 years 11 months ago #2 by bweber
bweber replied the topic: Re:adoption
open adoption is a very good choice for a teen mother who still wants to be in the life of her baby....i was adopted, but it wasn't open...i never wished it was i never really questioned who my parents were because my parents were who i lived with...i did recently come back in comtact with my birth mother....she is a very loving person who just wanted the best for her 4 babies....i being the youngest.....she was barely 20 when she had me, and she decided that she just couldn't do it, her now ex husband, our birth father, and her were just so young and made the best choice for us kids that they could......i never once regret being an adopted child, i grew up with a very loving devoted family and have great life.....i hope you choose the best for you....plz keep me updated<br><br>Post edited by: David, at: 2006/11/21 06:32

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11 years 5 days ago #3 by jazzy_jme
jazzy_jme created the topic: adoption
due to certain circumstances, i am considering the open adoption option for my baby (due the first of may) has anyone had experience with open adoption or know any good resources/agencies/organizations? thanks!

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