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Dont know what to do...

  • Sue
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12 years 8 months ago #1 by Sue
Sue replied the topic: Re:Dont know what to do...
In reply to Kate.. yes you are doing the right thing. From experience I can tell you. Over 20 years ago I had an abortion. My boyfriend thought it was \"the best thing for people in our situation\". Well I loved him desperately and did it. I regret it more than anything in my life. I will never get over it. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say. Now I know this man did not love me or he could not have had me do such a thing. Our relationship fizzled after a few more years. He is now married with two children. I wanted to die when I found that out. See, I gave up my my baby for nothing. I lost the baby, and I lost him. If a man tells you to get an abortion ignore him. If he is just in shock he will come around, if not, he is not someone you want in your life anyway, as eventually he will hurt you enough you will break up. One sided love never works. Keep your precious baby, that is a love that will endure.

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  • hannahsmom
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12 years 8 months ago #2 by hannahsmom
hannahsmom replied the topic: Re:Dont know what to do...
absolutely. i've been reading these posts and crying. i nrealy had an abortion last year and it hurts me still. my little girl is now 8 months old and perfect. please give your child a chance. if you can't raise him or her please give them up for adoption. being pregnant isn't a lot of fun but what is nine months compared to the joy a child brings. your tragedy could end up being your greatest triumph or the greatest joy in another families life.

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  • jennifer
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12 years 8 months ago #3 by jennifer
jennifer replied the topic: Re:Dont know what to do...
I dont know if your going to read this april, but I hope you do. I've been trying to find a way to reach out to girls over the web now because I feel so strongley about the horror of abortion. My daughter is one year old now, her birthday was on the 20th this month. She has changed me and my life for the better in so many ways I can't express with words. April, there is nothing more special in this world than holding your baby and knowing that they are the the most inocent and purest thing in this world. You will give this beautiful baby life and in your womb they rest peacefully protected by you. No one can take the bond you have with this life away. I know exactly how you feel. I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant, living at home with my parents and so scared. I made the appointment for the abortion and I to cried every day. I felt as if I was killing my very spirt along with the first child I was going to have. I reolized it was to wrong for me to do this because I researched. I was 8 weeks along and now saw the pictures of how already my baby was formed. It brought tears to my eyes. So I made a doctors appt. to see a sonogram- she was moving at just 8 weeks ! Little arms, legs, all in tact. She swam around content and happy. Me and her father stood in amazment with tears in our eyes. I loved being pregnant too. After a few months you feel your baby moving inside of you and it is so precious! Let me tell you financially, it can be done too. I have an apartment now, a job, and alot of help is out their if you just research girl ! Me and her father are not together any more, but you know what ? I'ts okay. You are a woman now and be strong now matter what happens your baby will always love you. Life is beautiful to me for the FIRST TIME april I swear it......listen to your heart.

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  • Kate
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12 years 8 months ago #4 by Kate
Kate replied the topic: Re:Dont know what to do...
I am seven weeks pregnant living in London, England. I am from the USA. My boyfriend and I have been living together for almost a year. When I moved in three months later I became pregnant and we decided to have an abortion. It was the worst mistake I have ever made! I told him I could never go through that again. So about 4 weeks ago I had a feeling that I was pregnant again. I told him and he reacted very badly and started verbally abusing me. There was a scare with the baby and we thought that it was dead. The doctor wanted to do a scrape but I said no, just wait a week. Best thing I had ever said. The next week the baby was fine. But when the doctor said that the baby wasnt doing well my boyfriend turned all nice again to me. Until we went in the next week and the baby was fine. He is really pressuring me to have an abortion. All of his friends and family think that he is crazy and that he should be reacting the opposite. I have decided to move back to America where I can have the support that I need so badly at the moment. Everyone says just to wait and that it is probably shock. But 4 weeks of knowing and he is still reacting the same I feel as if I have no other choice. He does have another child who is 4 yrs old and it really ended up badly between her mother and him. I understand this, but I have to think of me and my baby at this moment in time. Am I doing the right thing??????

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  • ana
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12 years 8 months ago #5 by ana
ana replied the topic: Re:Dont know what to do...
Hi April, I found out in the beggining of december I was pregnant. I had a feeling I was b/c I wasn 't feeling like myself. I felt little cramps, and I thought I was going to have my monthly visit..Well, I took 3 pregnancy test and they were all positive. My boyfriend all ready has two children from a previous relationship, and he couldn't handle the strain of another child. I had my abortion on December 21, 2004. It was the worst decision I had ever made in my life!! I regret it til this day. I have a good job, so I would have been able to handle raising MY child if my boyfriend didn't want to be there. When I got to the clinic, my boyfriend waited for me outside. He stayed there for 5 hours, which was okay to have the support, but I cried the enitre way home. The so called \"twilight sleep\", wasn't a twilight sleep. I felt everything, my legs were in straps, and thank god they were there or I would have kicked the doc in the face. I felt him poking me with the vacuum, and i remember screaming and telling him how much it hurt, all he could do was to tell me to relax....he wasn't the one going through the pain, how could he tell me to relax. This is the first time I ever talk about this, it feels good to finally get it out. I think about this everyday. I am 20 years old, I pray to god every day to forgive me for what I did, at least I know my child is with him and well taken care of. One day he/she may come back to me when I am ready. For anyone considering an abortion, an abortion is not easily forgotten. I know. Not only is it a part of the person you love, but it is a piece of you. There are different options to take. PLEASE CONSIDER ALL THE OPTIONS. I don't want anyone to feel the way I feel :( I hate myself for doing that and if I could go back, I would keep my baby. I am still with my boyfriend, and we haven't talked about the abortion at all. All he has said is that one day we can start a family when we are ready, but god has a plan for everyone, and I believe he planned to send me a child, just like he may have for you. Thanks for listening hopefully I have helped someone make their choice.

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  • hannahsmom
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12 years 8 months ago #6 by hannahsmom
hannahsmom replied the topic: Re:Dont know what to do...
Hi April,
I understand what you're going through. I found out I was pregnant at 21 and wanted nothing to do with the baby. I was terrified to tell anyone. I told my roommates and decided to get an abortion. I didn't even tell my boyfriend. We'd only been together a few weeks when I got pregnant. I knew he wouldn't let me get an abortion but I wanted one. I didn't think I could raise a child. I went to the clinic but couldn't go in. Thank God there was a place next door called problem pregnancy. They saved my daughter's life. I decided to give her up for adoption. It wasn't her fault that I was so young or that she wasn't planned. I told my boyfriend and he was thrilled! He could not have been happier. He told his family and they were just as thrilled. It took me a long time to tell my family. They were a little weary but definitely warmed up to the idea. I didn't make the choice to keep her, my boyfriend did. He wanted her and told me that if I didn't, he would take full custody of her. I don't know if I would have kept her otherwise, but I'm glad I did. That little girl is the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. Being a mom changes you forever. You'll have good days and bad days. But do not let anyone talk you out of keeping this child if that's what you want, you will regret it forever.

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