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so confused

  • Kristin
  • Kristin's Avatar Topic Author
11 years 6 months ago #1 by Kristin
Kristin replied the topic: Re:so confused
Wow, what a difficult postition that you are in. I know that you have alot to think about but as your thinking listen to what your heart is telling you. Most of the time life doesn't go according to our plan, we roll with it and somehow in the end it ends up better than we ever thought! I have a dear friend that decided not to keep hers, she ended up not keeping the husband either and has a rough time. I am not saying that will be you. Once this actually becomes real for him and he can see his baby in you moving around...I have a feeling things may change. For them, the don't get it like we do at first. It is a word to them, we feel it almost immediatly. I just had my 7 week ultra sound done and that little heart was beating away! Fingers and toes already coming too. Everytime I want to toss my cookies or I wake up from that great sleep to go to the restroom, I remember what I saw is really in me and that \"ah man\" feeling fades away. I hope that you will post again I would love to hear how you are doing, and him. Be strong and know that whatever you decide I will be praying for you. KB

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11 years 6 months ago #2 by Kit
Kit replied the topic: Re:so confused
I can relate to your situation in many ways. I was 28 years old when my husband and I found out last June that I was pregnant. At that time we had been married for almost 6 years. I have wanted to have children for quite a while. My husband wasn't quite so sure... We had talked about having a baby eventually but hadn't expected that we'd conceive right away the first month after stopping taking the pill! We were surprised and very nervous but happy. Having a baby changes you're life in so many ways, but it was definitely worth it. This pregnancy may be a surprise but could be a great blessing to your lives. Your husband is probably reacting out of stress and pressure. He's probably concerned about the major changes to come in the future and how a baby might change your marriage and finances. Don't let fear and negativity force you to choose abortion. It sounds like you already feel a bond with this child and I think that you should listen to that. My guess is that as the pregnancy progresses your husband will warm up to the idea of being a dad (mine did). if not adoption could be an option that would give life to a couple who really want a child. Hang in there! If you need to talk I'm here anytime.

Kate

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11 years 6 months ago #3 by Kit
Kit replied the topic: Re:so confused
I can relate to your situation in many ways. I was 28 years old when my husband and I found out last June that I was pregnant. At that time we had been married for almost 6 years. I have wanted to have children for quite a while. My husband wasn't quite so sure... We had talked about having a baby eventually but hadn't expected that we'd conceive right away the first month after stopping taking the pill! We were surprised and very nervous but happy. Having a baby changes you're life in so many ways, but it was definitely worth it. This pregnancy may be a surprise but could be a great blessing to your lives. Your husband is probably reacting out of stress and pressure. He's probably concerned about the major changes to come in the future and how a baby might change your marriage and finances. Don't let fear and negativity force you to choose abortion. It sounds like you already feel a bond with this child and I think that you should listen to that. My guess is that as the pregnancy progresses your husband will warm up to the idea of being a dad (mine did). if not adoption could be an option that would give life to a couple who really want a child. Hang in there! If you need to talk I'm here anytime.

Kate

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  • StandUpKrystal
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11 years 6 months ago #4 by StandUpKrystal
StandUpKrystal replied the topic: Re:so confused
Hi Sarah, My name is Krystal, I really don't know what to tell you about your situation, But what I will say is go with your first instinct, You and your husband might not want to have children but when you do have the baby you and your husband's decision might change after words. I know it's hard being pregnant, I'm 17 years old and pregnant with twins. It was hard at first but then I looked for help and I found it. I am now living with my new boyfriend, me and the fahter of my babies are not together anymore. When I found out I was pregnant I had not a clue what to do. I didn't know if I should have an abortion or just keep the baby or give it up for adoption when I had it, I was scared and alone, But I ended up going with my first instinct and keeping the babies. So here I am today 17 years old and 7 months pregnant with twins. But all I am trying to say is go with your first instinct, you might regret not having this baby and then again you might not regret it. Yes it's hard at first but when you look for the help you will find it. Plus who knows your husband might come around and actually like the thought of having a baby in your house. I am praying for the both of you to make the right decision. Good Luck.

:) Krystal

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  • Sarah
  • Sarah's Avatar Topic Author
11 years 7 months ago #5 by Sarah
Sarah created the topic: so confused
I am a very scared and confused woman. Less than a week ago I discovered I was pregnant. I am 28 years old and happily married, neither one of us wanted to have kids. However now I am looking at this in a whole different perspective. I am the one whose body has been taken over. My biology is really telling me to have the child, although my husband is certin he does not want to have it. I do not know what to do. I wish it was easy and we were one of those couples who can be so accepting of having children. Right now he has agreed to think about keeping it, but I just don't think he will want to then I may live the rest of my life bitter and hurt. Any suggestions or advice from anyone who may know what I am going through would be more than appreciated.

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