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Pregnant and going through a really rough time....

  • Heather
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11 years 3 months ago #1 by Heather
Look I know what your going threw and I know you've probably got the answers by now but I had to respond to tell you that the next time he hits you, you must call the police and write a statement on him. The police will help you find shelter. Get a restraining on him and save as much money as possible. Having made a report the judge if you go to trial will not give the baby to a alcoholic abuser. Do you know what I mean? I'm 20 years old and will have my baby in 12 weeks. I've had the same boyfriend for 6 years and yes in the past he has been abusive, not the slap across the face a actual beating and because I was scared to report him and get away I am now having his child. He has not put his hands on me in about a year but that is no excuss I should of been gone long ago. I couldn't emagine him hitting me while I'm pregnant. Your guy has problems that needs to be addressed. I told my guy I was gone if he didn't go to counseling. He went. He had no drinking or drug problems, he was just extremely jealous. I couldn't talk to any guys, now it's alittle different. But do something because you will be the one feeling guilty if he hurts the baby.

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11 years 3 months ago #2 by nolals
Dear Jenni: I would like to talk with you. The others who wrote to you gave you great advice!! What happened with me when my ex was divorcing me was that he STAYED..........as in the basement? And he would have the two youngest kids, ages 6 & 8, sleep downstairs with him........telling them that mom was \"mean\" and wanted to kick him out!! I didn't want to hurt them or put them through MORE emotional trauma, so I put up with it for 6 months. Again, he had total MENTAL control over me!!
He didn't have to hit me........his mental abuse was frightening enough.......and I think HE knew that if he ever DID hit me, I would go after him big time legally. He at least could control THAT about himself.

I'm hoping that by now, you've TAKEN ACTION!! I am hoping you and your unborn is safe right now!! I will pray for you.

ANOTHER THING!! NO, NO, God isn't IGNORING you........He will bring you through, but you must physically get up and leave, if you haven't already. He will open door s for you, but you must step out in faith.

I was so beaten down emotionally, that by the time I finally mustered up the courage to get a restraining order against him, and have him thrown out, I had my girlfriend holding my hand on the sofa, to give me strength, while the Police stayed and monitored that he didn't take anything out of the house that wasn't HIS. It was embarrassing, my whole neighborhood was outside watching. I told him: \"Even if I lose the house, even if I'm on the curb, begging with my kids, it will be BETTER than here with you abusing me!!\" That broke the whole river of anger, resentment, and all. It kind of scared him, too. I had no education, no job, no nothing. NOW, I am an R.N., Have my own house for 17 yrs now. I'll tell you more later, but God has blessed me, even though I made a couple more really dumb mistakes since that time. Bless yu honey! Nola<br><br>Post edited by: SweetTea, at: 2005/12/03 00:24

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  • Erica Mcguire
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11 years 3 months ago #3 by Erica Mcguire
Hi, I'm 16 and 5 months pregnant and I'm kindove in the same situation your in. I didn't live with him I still live at home. I thought he was the love of my life. I know this sounds stupid since I'm only sixteen, what do I know. He was so sweet at first we were togeather for six months. He was 18 years old and he also had a problem. He was abusive verbally and once phisically.He not only drank he would get angry he would act crazy and scream and throw things. It got worse, it turned into a every day thing. I would claim I would leave him,but he would cry.I would go crawling back.He would come up with all these threats to harm me if I left him. I had to escape from all this I was miserable, that love I felt for him was gone. The last time i saw him I told him I don't deserve this.Our baby doesn't deserve this ,you will never change.This isn't about me anymore I'm having a child and I don't want this to be his life.This was four months ago,I still have that fear to that he is around that corner or waiting for the perfect time. I've changed my number and never tried to reach him. I tell myself I have to protect my baby from him, and I know I will do everything in my power to keep my baby safe.It is so hard to except that you will be alone, like I said ANYHTING IT TAKES.

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11 years 4 months ago #4 by Kit
If Jenni,

If you are being physically abused by your boyfriend and he is threatening to kill you and/or your baby - you need to get out abd seek help ASAP for your sake and for the sake of your child!!!! You both deserve better and do not deserve to be hurt because of his abuse!!!

I would seek out a safe house or womens shelter for safety. Also I would seek help from a local crisis pregnancy center. They should be able to help you with emotional financial and possibly point you in the right direction to find legal support to obtain a protection order against your boyfriend. I don't know the numbers specifically for California but if you go to www.pregnancycenters.org or call their help line at 800-395-HELP they may be able to direct you to someone that can help you.

You could always apply for medicaid and WIC to help out also. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here. Do not stay with your boyfriend. Even if you think that you love him. Get out - be safe!!! Good luck.


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  • Rebbie
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11 years 4 months ago #5 by Rebbie
i dont know much about HOW to go about this... but i do know there are shelters that offer pregnant women homes... there are also womens shelters, where they protect women who have been abused by their husbands, and i think they also include boyfriends... you might want to as a hospital, a church minister/priest, maybe a parent or someone else that you can trust and who would help you find a place to live.

if he kidnaps your child, he can get into A LOT of trouble. if he continues beating you while you are pregnant you run the risk of having a miscarriage. you NEED to get out ASAP.

i wish you the best of luck...

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  • Jenni6485
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11 years 4 months ago #6 by Jenni6485
k... It didnt go through.....

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