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Please dont judge me! I have no one to talk to

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7 years 1 month ago #1 by fuller
fuller replied the topic: Re: Please dont judge me! I have no one to talk to
hi my names michelle i have been in a relationship with my partner since we was 12 i am now 23 and we are still together and very very happy.
when i was 16 i fell pregnant i had a misarriage and have had an empty hole ever since and questions that will never be answered expl: what colour eyes, hair ect.
Since the miscarriage i have not been able to get pregnant so i am seeking the help of women who fall pregnant but cant see it in their hearts to have an abortion there is so many women who can not have children its absolutley heart breaking you could be the angel a couple desperatly needs and i hope i find my angel soon ty all for listening xxxxx if anyone needs to talk about anything at all feel free to messege me lotsoflovexx@ymail.com

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7 years 3 months ago #2 by jessiexx2
jessiexx2 replied the topic: Re:Please dont judge me! I have no one to talk to
God loves you so much. He will still love you no matter what your decision. You always can have the baby and give the baby a better life with a new family. If your not ready..there are so many couple that wants kids but can't have them. No matter what you do always remember God is with you. I am praying for you

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7 years 4 months ago #3 by xepphire
xepphire replied the topic: Re: Please dont judge me! I have no one to talk to
No one will ever judge you for your decision or at least they shouldn't. I don't think you should have an abortion. If he tries to attack you again, call the police and file a restraining order, this will also build a case against him as being abusive. You need to think of your childs safety. I think you should think hard about what what you want to do with your life the child and your future then go to your aunt explain that you are pregnant and what you have decided to do and ask for her support. I would say also finnish your studies. When I was in second year my son was born and I took him to lectures with me for about a year and just put him in a routine where he would sleep at those times. Explain to your aunt how you will need support and help with the baby so you can finnish your degree and support your child. Taking control of your situation may show her how you are now ready to be a mom. I hope it works out for you. Good Luck!

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7 years 6 months ago #4 by 15yrslatr
15yrslatr replied the topic: Re:Please dont judge me! I have no one to talk to
I feel for you and I must say that I think you are judging yourself more harshly than anyone else would. I think you are letting people and situations chose for you. It sounds like it you had the choice you would choose to have your baby. I was in your shoes when I was 18. I had a boyfriend who wanted to marry me and I didn't want to be with him. I had no money and I was scared. But do you know what I did. I told him I didn't want to be with him and I never saw him again. I told my family (who said I should have an abortion) that I was going to have my baby and that if I couldn't find a way to support the baby and finish school I would give the baby up for adoption. I gave them the choice to either love me anyway or step out of the way. I told them my choice and then I let them help or not. They don't have to but you don't have to do what they want either, it's your life. Now about school you can finish and still be pregnant. You can find a family if you want who will raise your child and pay for your prenatal care if your unable to do it. but I think you might want to take a deep breath now you are loved and love your child enough to not want to do what you did before, it hurt you. Be strong and people will not push you around. Contact me if you wanna talk. You are beautiful!!!!

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7 years 6 months ago #5 by mianinjakitty
mianinjakitty replied the topic: Re:Please dont judge me! I have no one to talk to
I can feel youre pain, its gonna be ok, i am 15 pregnant, i also come from a broken home, my mom a boozedhead and my dad walked out on me when i was 12, i live with my boyfriend and his family, i turned t sex for an escape, its hard to come from a broken home but youre get through it go to a womans shelter or anything this man sounds abusive

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7 years 7 months ago #6 by tenassity
tenassity replied the topic: Re:Please dont judge me! I have no one to talk to
Hey Splash,

Firstly, I'd think twice before taking Cam2know's advise as staying with him isn't good for you or the baby (i believe it's called inuterostress? which is basically when the baby is in the womb and the mother goes through a distressing situation and the child actually gains a memory of that stress that can later be triggered in life). This guy may love you but there is a difference between healthy and unhealthy love and his isn't healthy it's obsessive and distressing for you as I see from your post.
I have been in a similar situation and staying isn't the answer. Go and see a lawyer/solicitor and find out what your rights are when it comes to sole custody etc if you wish to follow though with the pregnancy. If he is going to try and strip you of this child then it would help to be prepared!
If you wish to have another abortion make sure that you see someone afterwards to help you though this tough time and perhaps can give you some tools to help you make sense of it all.
I get that it is hard to see through all the fog at the moment but if you find someone objective to talk to it should help. (google Rachel's Vineyard, they are predominatly post-abortion service but they should be able to refer you on. if your not religious don't stress they don't push god onto you) But no matter what, whether you keep this child or not please don't stay with him as it won't get any better and there is a high he will just inflict his abuse and anger upon the child.
Studies have shown that just because you where abused or neglected as a child doesn't mean you will abuse or neglect your children. There is a book called "Escaping Daddy" by Maria Landon I beleive. Have a read, it is very sad in parts but she is a remarkable woman and perhaps she may give you some thing to think about when it comes to leaving a relationship like your current one as it is hard I have been there but it will take time and once you break away for good you will remember that you deserve so much better. I hope I haven't come accross as too "pro life" as I am "pro whatever is best for you"
Be strong,
Love and Hugs
Tennassity

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