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Because we are worth it

  • Autumn
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8 years 1 month ago #1 by Autumn
Autumn replied the topic: Re:Because we are worth it
Thank you so much. :) It really does brighten your day to hear that.

I'll pray for you for your third! But your right so right... two is a HUGE blessing.

My son's father and I are living in different states but I just have something inside telling me that we're going to work through all of this. I really, really miss him. I just want to get back there soon, which is why I'm trying to get a GED. I really took it from you to be friend's first, then a couple. It really is a great thing to do. And it's working better now.

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8 years 1 month ago #2 by kez_mummy_2_skye
kez_mummy_2_skye replied the topic: Re:Because we are worth it
You guys are doing both a great job. You are very mature than your age.

I love to see ppl like you and help others through some tough times.

I to followed you Autumn and so proud of you..(even though i dont know u personally)

Having kids makes it even more special when u have trouble having them as im trying for a 3rd and its just not happening. I have polycyctic ovaries and im so greatful for the 2 i have now.

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8 years 1 month ago #3 by breathless
breathless replied the topic: Re:Because we are worth it
Autumn, I have been following your story on here and you are doing a fantastic job. I have a hard time being on here because a lot of the stories are sadly all the same. I've been reading what you have to say since you were pregnant, I strongly believe that you are the best your child deserves, you are doing everything right.

My son is 2, so I feel I have a basic grasp of what to expect, and how things are going to be. Each day brings its challenges, its ups and its downs. I am so happy you have found my words helpful.

Teenagers who have children, there is such a general opinion about them all. I'm not a bad mom, but I wasn't one of the A+ girls who got pregnant her first time. My home life was crap, and I've dealt with a lot of stuff, but it has only made me stronger. I don't dwell on it, in fact it makes me more motivated to be the best I can.

The little piece about your son cuddling with you makes me realize that YOU GET IT, the little tiny things that make that bond indestructible, that makes you truly fall in love with your child. I see babies sitting in their car seats, never being held, never being talked to. Every moment that my son lets me hold him, talk to him is a moment to be cherished. Watching him grow and learn new things makes me choked up.

I'm not for or against (to a degree) teen pregnancy/parenting, I am against children not getting treated well, or being robbed of a chance at a good life simply because someone doesn't want to give it to them. Doesn't matter if you are 40 or 14, each child deserves a chance at life and if you're not willing to give them that chance for whatever reason, then you should not be a parent.

Having a child and subsequently raising them is a selfless task, you give and give and give and don't get much back. That's just how it is. Your kids don't "owe" you anything, if you do it right, they will love you the most and that should be sufficient "payment".

As for me and my boyfriend, we're friends first, a couple second. When things get too stressful we either take some space or we spend some easy going time together, just the two of us, playing video games or going for a walk.
We are both aware that our relationship isn't perfect and we've decided that no matter what happens, we will remain a team, and be great, supportive, loving parents to our son, together or not.

As for a career, I'm way behind in school, I dropped out before I had my son and haven't really gone back since. This september I'm going back and getting what I need to do to graduate. After that, I am considering a career working in a nursing home.

btw, don't feel guilty about leaving your son with someone now and then, I said I don't agree with partying every night and day but needing a bit of time to yourself now and then is a necessity for Mom's old and young. In order to be the best mom you can be, we all need a break to do something for ourselves now and then!!

Just be the best you can, and love your child all the time, unconditionally.

soulfulseductress,

you had a lot of good words to say and I appreciate you saying them. It's about the willingness to succeed and the effort you are willing to put in to give your child the life they deserve.

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  • Autumn
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8 years 2 months ago #4 by Autumn
Autumn replied the topic: Re:Because we are worth it
That is a really t rue statement also, soulfulseductress.

Thinking about what you just said, I think that most girls who come from unstable households are the ones who enter into drugs, alcohol, and promiscuity, as well. But I think that the poster's point was to say that not every one of us are like this. Some of us just want to make up for our mistakes and move on and do better for our children. Stereotypes are a big part of the world.... and I think that if there weren't so many stares and whispers that more girls would be willing to stand up and do the right thing. We, as teenagers, are pouring over the fact about what Bobby at school thinks of us, or Klarrisa the popular girl. For some reason, I just have never been really involved in what others think of me, but most girls are. I had a lot of support to help get me through my pregnancy from my ex-boyfriend, my parents, my school, my friends... and it made the experience so much easier. Girls really need help out there and it would be so much better if more people would truly educate themselves about teenage pregnancy and instead of hurting the girls, make an effort to show some courage. This will hopefully impact all of the girls who aren't as dedicated to their children as some of us are. If you have encouraging words, you're going to feel better about yourself and want to do better for the both of you. Some people can't handle the put-downs and I believe that those are the girls who don't succeed with their children. This life isn't for everyone... If you chose to keep your baby, you're promising God, yourself, and your child that you are going to face what other people say and work your hardest to prove everyone wrong who doubted you, and prove the people who love and support you right.

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8 years 2 months ago #5 by soulfulseductress
soulfulseductress replied the topic: Re:Because we are worth it
I really like this post. You bring up some very valid arguments.

I think one thing a lot of people forget is that a lot of the problems associated with teen parenting go beyond just the age and maturity level of the parents. The girls that are more prone to becoming teen mothers are those coming from unstable homes and unstable environments. Not all teen mothers come from a negative home environment but a sizable number do. These are the teens who you will often see not be the best parents and mainly because they already have so many problems of their own and are overwhelmed by their negative life experiences. Many of these girls do not have a positive parent role model to look up to and so they don't even realize what they are doing wrong until much later in life. They don't have the resources to properly care for their child and it frustrates them. Parenting for them is much more difficult than for a more financially/emotionally stable individual.

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  • Autumn
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8 years 2 months ago #6 by Autumn
Autumn replied the topic: Re:Because we are worth it
Reading this has actually brought me up. I feel exactly the same way you do taking care of my son. He is 6 months old, I am fifteen and I can't stand anyone else taking care of him, or I'll just feel guilty. I question myself sometimes and hope he loves me just as much as I love him. Last night he was laying next to me while I was on the phone with his dad and he kept cuddling up next to me. If only girls new things like that, they'd know how much motherhood is completely beautiful.

I promise you that while not every teen mom loves their child like they should, I am one that truly does. I am trying to get the best education I can for my son's sake and I am not going to be the "cool" parent just because I'm a teenager.

And while I admit that I can be selfish and want a break sometimes and most of the time I'm upset about being away from his dad in another state, reading what you wrote has given me more bravery and courage to be stronger and push through these hard times for better days. You are a true mom. Age may be a factor in affecting your ability to parent, but there are indeed exceptions. I can tell just by your words that you are one of those parents. I want you to know that your words are going to be carried with me because you really are someone that I can look up to who knows just exactly what I've been through.

Would you mind sharing with me how you're making it work with your boyfriend and what you've chosen as a career? I don't mean to be rude by asking... but I'm trying to figure out a plan and decide what the best course of action is for myself, and like I've said... you really seem like someone I'd like to get advice from.

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